1557 lines
72 KiB
Plaintext
1557 lines
72 KiB
Plaintext
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______/| __
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| __ | / \
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\ | \| | /
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| | ___ ___ _/\ | |
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| |__/| | | | | \_/ | |
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| | | | | | ___ | |
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/ __ | \ \ | | | | | |
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| | \| \ \/ _/ | | / /
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| | \__/ | | | |/|
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| |__/| |_| |____|
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_____ |_____ |
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/ _ \ _ \| _ __
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/ / \ \ | |___ _____/ | ______ / \
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/_ / \ | | __ \ / __ | / ___ | | / _____
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| |___| | | / \ \ | / \ | | | \ | | | / _ \
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| ___ | | | | | | | | | | | | / | | \_ \\_|
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| / | | | | | | | | _| | | \__/ | | | \ \
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| | | | |_| |/ \ \_/ | | ___/ | | __ | |
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/__| | | \___/| | \ |____ | | __ \ \/ /
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\___\ | | \_____/ \ \/ / \___/
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/|________/ | \__/
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/ __________/
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\_|
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____
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/ / ___ ___ ____ ___ ___ _/_ ____
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/___/ / /__/ /___ /__/ / / / /___
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/ / /___ ___/ /___ / / / ___/ o o o
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##### __ _ __ __ ___ __
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######### |\ | |__| |_| | |_| | |__ | | |
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### ### | \| | | | \ |__ | | | __| | | |__
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###########
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########### ####################################
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### ### ### ### ### ### ###
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### ### ### ### ### ### ###
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### ### ### ### ### ### ###
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### ### ### ###
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########### ### ### ### ### ###
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########### ### ### ### ### ###
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### ### ### ### ### ###
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### ####################################
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### __ _ __ __ __ __
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### |_ |\ | | \ |_ |\ | | | |_ |__
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### |__ | \| |_/ |__ | \| |__ | |__ __|
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###
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==========================================================================
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-----------------
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W A R N I N G !
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-----------------
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This product is meant for educational purposes only.
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Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
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Void where prohibited.
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Some assembly required.
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List each check separately by bank number.
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Batteries not included.
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Contents may settle during shipment.
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Use only as directed.
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No other warranty expressed or implied.
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Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
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Postage will be paid by addressee.
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Subject to CAB approval.
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This is not an offer to sell securities.
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Apply only to affected area.
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May be too intense for some viewers.
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Do not stamp.
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Use other side for additional listings.
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For recreational use only.
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Do not disturb.
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All models over 18 years of age.
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If condition persists, consult your physician.
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No user-serviceable parts inside.
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Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
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Subject to change without notice.
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No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
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Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
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For off-road use only.
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As seen on TV.
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One size fits all.
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Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
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Colours may, in time, fade.
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We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you.
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Slippery when wet.
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For office use only.
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Not affiliated with the American Red Cross.
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Drop in any mailbox.
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Edited for television.
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Keep cool; process promptly.
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List was current at time of printing.
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Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward.
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Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential
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damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.
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Insert carefully.
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At participating locations only.
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Not the Beatles.
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If for any reason you believe a tablet has not been ingested use
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some other form of contraception.
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Penalty for private use.
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See label for sequence.
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Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
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Do not write below this line.
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Falling rock.
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Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
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To reduce the risk of electric shock, do not remove this cover.
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[That one was the first thing you read when you remove the cover. - Ed]
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Your cancelled check is your receipt.
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Add toner.
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Do not deliberately sniff this product. Sniffing might harm or kill you!
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Place stamp here.
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Avoid contact with skin.
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Sanitized for your protection.
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Non-hazardous when used as directed.
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Be sure each item is properly endorsed.
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Sign here without admitting guilt.
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Slightly higher west of the Mississippi.
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Employees and their families are not eligible.
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Beware of dog.
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Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
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Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery.
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You must be present to win.
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No passes accepted for this engagement.
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No purchase necessary.
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Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
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Shading within a garment may occur.
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Use only in well-ventilated area.
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Keep away from fire or flame.
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Replace with same type.
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Approved for veterans.
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Booths for two or more.
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Do not touch magnetized area.
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Check here if tax deductible.
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Some equipment shown is optional.
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Price does not include taxes.
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No Canadian coins.
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Not recommended for children.
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Removal of any part which caused unit to be contaminated
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will invalidate warranty.
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Prerecorded for this time zone.
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Reproduction strictly prohibited.
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No solicitors.
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No alcohol, dogs, or horses.
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This quote is valid for 30 days and is subject to our standard
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terms and conditions of sale.
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No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
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Restaurant package, not for resale.
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List at least two alternate dates.
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Proof of purchase is required for all servicing covered under
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this warranty.
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First pull up, then pull down.
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Call toll free before digging.
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Driver does not carry cash.
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Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for
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identification purposes only.
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Record additional transactions on back of previous stub.
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Insert 20 cents here.
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Made in US Virgin Islands.
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Smoking Damages your lungs.
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Caution: Hot surface avoid contact.
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This supersedes all previous notices.
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THATSAGODDAMNEDMUTHAFUCKINGWARNINGANDDONTYOUFUCKINGWELLFORGETIT!
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==========================================================================
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--------------------
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CALL THESE BOARDS!
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--------------------
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For interstate callers prefix with 03
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For international callers prefix with + 61-3
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For kids under 17 with an Amiga prefix with 00111-201
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The Twilite Zone. 878-3539 All Speeds to 2400 Yep it's back!
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The Burning Crucifix. 562-0938 DON'T BOTHER, IT'S DOWN FOR GOOD!
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Doodz Domain. 646-5861 All Speeds on a Trailblazer.
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Where does he get those wonderful toys?
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Further Regions. 725-1923 All Speeds Modem, pity about the PC!
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Delta BBS 793-4548 For RPG Players and Homosexuals.
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The CrossOver. 364-1282 All Speeds with LOTS of hard disk and an
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AD LIB card (as if you didn't know!)
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Chicago. 728-6698 1200 & 2400 CCITT, 300 Bell
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The Hard Rock Cafe. 894-2815 Four Lines (Don't know what speeds.)
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For C00L AMIGA 1K (L)user.
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The BlackBoard. 776-5206 NOT for C00L AMIGA 1K (L)users
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==========================================================================
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---------------------
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CALL THESE NUMBERS!
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---------------------
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0014-800-125-555 Japanese Operator. (Ask her is she's a Gook.)
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0014-800-125-999 New York Weather, thanks to AmEx.
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0014-881-390 As if the operator is a wog.
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0014-881-330 Ask for a French Kiss.
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1194 For a good time.
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0055-50459 For all the cunts out there.
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0055-18344 For C00L Amiga 1K (L)users.
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0055-18487 For Delta users.
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0055-18142 For Twilite Zone Sysops.
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0055-18403 For People that Destroy Disks.
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0055-18104 For Ace Cadets.
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0055-18176 For Taxi Cabs.
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0055-18305 For Communists.
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0055-38550 For People with BIG FEET.
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0055-38634 For Vagabonds.
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0055-38682 For Large Mothers.
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0055-18145 For Sysops of Hard Rocking Cafes.
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0055-18266 For Sparkies.
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0055-18171 For Sysops of Burning Crucifixes.
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===========================================================================
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-------------------------------
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P H R E A K B U S T E R S !
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-------------------------------
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[I would like at this stage to say that it was totally and
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utterly my fault that the title of this A.T. is PHREAK BUSTERS.
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The fact that this file contains almost nothing about phreaking
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is due entirely to everyone else, and I am totally blameless.
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YOURMOTHERSUCKSCOCKSINHELLANDNOTONLYDOESSHEBRAGABOUTITTHENEXT
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DAYWHENSHEGOESTOBINGOBUTIHAVEHEARDTHEOLDFARTSDOWNATTHE
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BOWLSCLUBSAYINGTHATSHEISAPRETTYGOODROOTASWELL!
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- ED ]
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When there's something strange
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on your phone exchange
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Who are you going to call?
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PHREAK BUSTERS!
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When there's something strange
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and it don't sound good,
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Who are you going to call?
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PHREAK BUSTERS!
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CHORUS
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I ain't afraid of no phreaker
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I ain't afraid of no phreaker
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If you're getting bills,
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going through the roof
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And it don't look good,
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Who can you call?
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PHREAK BUSTERS!
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You've got a Taxi Cab,
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sleeping in your bed,
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Who can you call?
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PHREAK BUSTERS!
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CHORUS
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Who can you call?
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If you're all alone
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Pick up the phone and call
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PHREAK BUSTERS!
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CHORUS
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I hear it likes the tones
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CHORUS
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Who can you call?
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PHREAK BUSTERS!
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If you have a phreaker,
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A nerdy phreaker, baby
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You'd better call...
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PHREAK BUSTERS!
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Let me tell you something
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Busting makes me feel good!
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I ain't afraid of no phreaker
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I ain't afraid of no phreaker
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Don't get caught on the phone no no
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PHREAK BUSTERS!
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When it comes on the phone,
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Unless you want some more,
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You better call...
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(Soon to be released by Fred and the Evil Angels.)
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(Anti-Virgin Records.)
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-------------------------------------------------------------
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O-----------------_
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I -----------------------_
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I----------------------------------------------------_______
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O --------------O
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I SEARCH TOPIC: PHREAKING I
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I [Certain sensitive words have been removed -Ed.] I
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O O
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I PHREAKING : The art of making phone calls without actually paying for I
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I them yourself. Known methods are: I
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O O
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I i. Get a .....................nd pass.......d use this by ca...ng the I
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I o......r, quot............er and PIN, followed by requesting the I
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O phone number you would otherwise have dialled yourself. O
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I Most Common Method. I
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I I
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O ii.Use various hardware methods such as conn................phone line O
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I and O use this instead of the phreaker'.................line. I
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I I
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O iii.Use ......ers One of the more popular methods. By gaining access O
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I to a .............ker is then able to use it for whatever purpose the I
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I phreaker decides, usually they get ...........x I
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O O
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I iv.This method is not a common method. The phreaker fir............. I
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I 9 or other simi.............hen follows this with the number they wish I
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O to dial I all for the cost.............all. O
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I I
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I_________________________________________________________________________I
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_________________________________________________________________________
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I I
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O O
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I SEARCH TOPIC: PHREAKER I
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I I
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O PHREAKER: O
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I I
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I Mutation of a being from the subgroup of the BBS user species I
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O O
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I WARNING: These creatures are VERY dangerous. They constantly break laws I
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I and commit heinous crimes. Be VERY careful when associating I
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O with them, they carry the dangerous disease PHRACK which is O
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I highly contagious and causes those infected to become I
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I phreakers. I
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O O
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I MISCELLANEOUS DATA FOR TYPICAL PHREAKER I
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I I
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O GIRLFRIENDS/ : Past : probably none O
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I BOYFRIENDS Present: none I
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I I
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O WORKING HOURS : 11pm-8am O
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I SLEEPING HOURS: 12noon-9pm I
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I I
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O CAR : ELITE sports car O
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I (bought on Alan Bonds Platinum AMEX) I
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I I
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O AGE : Old enough to use a computer and modem O
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I I
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I SEX LIFE : A wank before they go to bed and when they get up I
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O (Dildos, et al are unknown to them.) O
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I I
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I SOCIAL LIFE : None except special "meets" to discuss latest in I
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O phreaking. O
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I I
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I HOBBIES : Phreaking, Using 'puter, Phreaking, Hacking, Phreaking I
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O O
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I FAVOURITE DRINK: Orange Juice, Milk, Cordial I
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I I
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O FAVOURITE FOOD : Anything made by their mummy O
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I I
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I TURN ONS : Successfully hacking into a mainframe, Making a dozen I
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O calls on one card in one night, Finding a 'free' 008 O
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I number I
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I I
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O TURN OFFS : Naked members of the other sex, Sex, People, Police O
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I I
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I METHOD OF : As mentioned above, they carry a highly contagious I
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O REPRODUCTION disease. Scientists are yet to detect another means of O
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I reproduction I
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I I
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O PREFERENCES : Due to the lack of material available on this subject, O
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I it is assumed that they have no preference I
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I I
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O HABITS : Do not socialize much, spend a lot of the time on the O
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I phone (not talking to mates) running up large phone I
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I bills for others, breaking the law, sleeping, calling I
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O BBSs and causing some to shutdown O
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I I
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I NOTE: It is a curious paradox, that these people spend I
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O so much time on the phone without saying anything O
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I_________________________________________________________________________I
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==========================================================================
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--------------------
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ANARCHISTIC SPORTS
|
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--------------------
|
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By Lightening Bolt
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This month, due to censorship regulations and in an effort to retain
|
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our reputation of tasteful articles, we are unable to bring you the
|
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mud wrestling between Satan's Daughter and Star Hawk.
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But, we have an exclusive!
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Our roving reporter, Lightening Bolt, set out on the tracks of BIGF00T.
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Hunting jobs is no easy task, and in this case, seemingly impossible.
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But with his sense for a good story [And a copy of War and Peace. - Ed]
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this is what happened.
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--------------------
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I was sure that this was going to be one of those assignments that
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all reporters dread. It was a wet and chilly morning, and I was
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considering finding the puncture repair kit for Dianne. But duty called.
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I wandered down the alley to where Big Foot "lived". It looked much like
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any other rubbish bin with the exception of the phone line, TV aerial
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and letter box. It is at times like this that I wish I'd accepted the
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offer as a Hinch reporter; joining in Paedophiles Unanimous meetings,
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walking through the polluted drains of Melbourne and generally being a
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total pain in the ass. Besides being in my natural habitat, I could
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stay at home with Dianne.
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I knocked lightly on the lid, and waited for a response. For several
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seconds I thought I may have been too late and that he'd already set
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out job-seeking. Then I thought a second, and with my trusty baseball
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bat began wildly beating the sides.
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It took about 5 minutes, but the lid popped open and two bloodshot eyes
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peered out. His mouth opened, and muttered something to the effect of
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"PHUCK ORPH" before the lid slammed shut.
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I was not going to be deterred from my exclusive interview. With a little
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light bulb above my head I realised how to bait him out. In one of my more
|
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casual tones I said "Mr Foot, your Dole Check.", and under my breath I
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muttered "Three, Two, One..."
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With the force of one of Masky's farts the lid of the bin exploded open,
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and Big Foot burst out, his tongue lapping his naked chest. Before he
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could realise that I had out smarted him, I drove down to sex local shop,
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bought some chains and a padlock, returned and managed to finish the
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novel I took with me to while away the time. I snapped the chains around
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his wrists and ankles and demanded my exclusive interview.
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Realising he'd been outwitted, he gave in. Disappointedly I put the whip
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away.
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"OK Mr Foot, I would just like to ask a couple of questions. Firstly, have
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you ever had a job?"
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"Ahhhh, well, it depends on your perspective and your, errrr, what you
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mean when you say 'job'."
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"You mean NO don't you?" I sometimes amaze even myself with my ability
|
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to decipher bullshit. I recommend to all the kids out there considering
|
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a career in journalism to watch political speeches. If you can make sense
|
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of it become a politician, it pays better!
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"Well, I consider it my job keeping the people in the social security
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office busy, not to mention the post office and all the other people that
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have to pay taxes."
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"Have you ever been to a job interview?" I asked thinking this will
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show him up.
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"Well, yes, I did go to one once. I had to or they were going to stop
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my dole cheques."
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"So what happened?" I asked in surprise.
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"They said I could have the job." He responded.
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"So why aren't you WORKING?" I was puzzled.
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"Oh, they only said I had to go for an interview, they didn't say I had
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to work. Besides, if I had to go out and work I'd never have
|
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time to call bulletin boards, or go to movies, or pinnie parlours."
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I was in a bit of a fix. There seemed to be some strange thread of logic
|
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in what he was saying, I just couldn't seem to grasp it. I continued.
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"OK, have you ever had a girlfriend?"
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"I met a girl once, she was in the social security office, and she
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was friendly, does that count?"
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He seemed rather innocent, so I decided to drop that line of questions.
|
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"I have one more question for you. Would you have a puncture repair kit?"
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"Ummm, is this a trick question?"
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"Never mind, I have some rubbers, and I'll make some glue when I get home."
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|
|
I removed the chains, and he slithered back into his rusty tin. I was
|
|
quite satisfied with my efforts, and after disconnecting his phone
|
|
line and TV aerial decided to call it a day.
|
|
|
|
Next issue I'll be heading into the jungle with the desperate guys from
|
|
The Hard Rock Cafe hunting for a girlfriend.
|
|
|
|
/
|
|
Lightening /_ Bolt
|
|
/
|
|
/
|
|
|
|
|
|
OTHER RESULTS THIS MONTH
|
|
------------------------
|
|
|
|
Victorian Bullshit League: Cefiar 2
|
|
BIGF00T 3
|
|
Masked Avenger 7
|
|
|
|
Amateur Paedophiles Association: Fifth Dimension 1
|
|
Masked Avenger He's One
|
|
Big Mumsy He's One Two
|
|
|
|
Mudwrestling: Satan's Daughter 1
|
|
Star Hawk 0
|
|
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
---------------------
|
|
ANARCHISTIC COOKING
|
|
---------------------
|
|
with Dianne Nichols
|
|
|
|
|
|
Darlings,
|
|
|
|
Fred has finally given me my own spot in the highly regarded Anarchistic
|
|
Tendencies file.
|
|
|
|
This month I have dug up a couple of recipes that I found scrawled on one
|
|
of the pages of volume 8 of my little black book.
|
|
|
|
Hope you find them useful, and I'll be back next issue.
|
|
|
|
Lustfully,
|
|
Di.
|
|
|
|
|
|
BANANA BREAD RECIPE
|
|
===================
|
|
|
|
INGREDIENTS:
|
|
|
|
2 Laughing eyes. 2 Firm milk containers.
|
|
2 Loving arms. 1 Fur lined mixing bowl.
|
|
2 Well shaped legs. 1 Banana.
|
|
2 Nuts.
|
|
|
|
MIXING INSTRUCTIONS:
|
|
|
|
Look into laughing eyes. Entwine two loving arms.
|
|
Spread well shaped legs slowly. Squeeze and massage
|
|
milk containers very gently, until fur lined mixing
|
|
bowl is well greased. Insert banana.
|
|
Cover with nuts and sigh until well relieved.
|
|
|
|
Bread is done when banana is soft.
|
|
Be sure to wash mixing utensils and don't lick the bowl.
|
|
If bread starts to rise leave town.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ROAST DUCK STROMBOLI
|
|
====================
|
|
|
|
INGREDIENTS:
|
|
|
|
1 Duck.
|
|
1 Orange.
|
|
1 Cup. Uncooked popcorn.
|
|
Salt and Pepper to taste.
|
|
|
|
MIXING INSTRUCTIONS:
|
|
|
|
Place all ingredients inside duck.
|
|
Sew up both ends.
|
|
Place duck in bowl with small quantity of oil.
|
|
Sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste.
|
|
Place in preheated oven - 350 Degrees.
|
|
Cooking is complete when the popcorn blows
|
|
the ASS out of the duck.
|
|
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
--------------------
|
|
ANARCHISTIC HEALTH
|
|
--------------------
|
|
by Avalon ..
|
|
|
|
|
|
+------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|The =================================== |-+
|
|
| E V I L A N G E L ' S D I E T | |
|
|
| =================================== | |
|
|
| | |
|
|
| By Avalon .. | |
|
|
+------------------------------------------------------+ |
|
|
+------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
+------------================-------------+
|
|
| F O O D |-+
|
|
+------------================-------------+ |
|
|
+-----------================--------------+
|
|
|
|
|
|
Never walk past any place where you can obtain food, for example
|
|
vending machines, rubbish bins, McDonalds, milk bars etc,
|
|
unless you are trying to impress some female by your will power.
|
|
|
|
Be careful not to do this too often! You might end forming
|
|
a habit and not eating enough. Thus, if you are with friends
|
|
and there aren't any particularly fuckable women in sight, and you
|
|
pass near a McDonalds or other supplier of Prestige Foods, start
|
|
hassling them for money; even if you have to make all sorts of
|
|
promises. This also has another benefit, being that you develop
|
|
a skill for making promises and will improve your sex life!
|
|
|
|
Not being broke before your next pay means you didn't drink/eat
|
|
enough. You should spend this residue in the forthcoming period.
|
|
|
|
*****************************************************************
|
|
* *
|
|
* NOTE: Syn's CHEESECAKES are NOT recommended-They BOUNCE TOO *
|
|
* MUCH and will bounce RIGHT OUT of your STOMACH! *
|
|
* *
|
|
*****************************************************************
|
|
|
|
As long as the food you eat has lots and lots of calories/kilojoules
|
|
then it is ok to eat and will fit into the diet well. For a guide
|
|
on about how much to eat for meals, use this table:
|
|
|
|
(Just to be a bastard, I have made up a new system for measuring
|
|
energy in food. It is based around there being 2400 of these
|
|
units in the recommended food intake for one day of the Evil
|
|
Angel's Diet. The new unit is called the "Evil Angel" or "E.A.".)
|
|
|
|
Each Meal | With snacks= 200 E.A.
|
|
+-------------------------------------------+---------------------+
|
|
| 2 of the 3 main meals : 1,200 E.A. | 1,100 E.A. |
|
|
+-------------------------------------------+---------------------+
|
|
| All 3 main meals : 800 E.A. | 730 E.A. |
|
|
+-------------------------------------------+---------------------+
|
|
|
|
The figures given here are recommended minimums, going over
|
|
them is no worry but under them is! Thus if you are eating
|
|
every 5 minutes of the day then don't worry unless you don't
|
|
have very big meals during the day, in which case try and make
|
|
sure you take in about 2400 E.A. per day. Anything less and you
|
|
are in trouble and will have to make up for it later. As a
|
|
comparison to other diets, most would recommend about half that
|
|
and that is being generous! Obviously the key to all this is
|
|
too eat 'bad' food and lots of it. It is preferable if the food
|
|
you eat is low in salt while high in calories or kilojoules.
|
|
|
|
****************************************************************
|
|
* *
|
|
* NOTE: CUCUMBERS are considered to be HEALTHY food. *
|
|
* So get rid of them now! [Unless you're female. - Ed.] *
|
|
* *
|
|
****************************************************************
|
|
|
|
To those who smoke, well what more can you do to your body ?
|
|
Really, what smoking does to you is reduce the amount of time
|
|
you could be around to enjoy your food and beer. More
|
|
importantly, the money you spend of cigarettes and lighters
|
|
could be much better spent on more important things in your life
|
|
like girlfriends and from the dieters point of view, more
|
|
beer/food.
|
|
|
|
Notes about healthy foods:
|
|
--------------------------
|
|
|
|
1. Healthy food fills you up.
|
|
(Makes it hard to eat a lot of other foods).
|
|
2. On a gram/calorie (gram/kilojoule) ratio it is very low (BAD!).
|
|
3. Doesn't make you fat quickly/easily.
|
|
4. It's healthy!
|
|
|
|
If you think what I have recommended here is bad for you,
|
|
will help you along the road to heart disease and other nasties
|
|
like that, well then you are DAMN RIGHT!
|
|
|
|
Just as a side note, there is an old proverb that goes "you
|
|
are what you eat". What does that make vegetarians ?
|
|
|
|
****************************************************************
|
|
* *
|
|
* NOTE: DRUGS of ANY KIND are NOT recommended since they *
|
|
* are too popular with law enforcers as well as being *
|
|
* EXTREMELY BAD for you and not too high in calories. *
|
|
* *
|
|
****************************************************************
|
|
|
|
To top it all off, you must remember that it is NOT good to
|
|
do too much exercise. This reduces the effective amount of
|
|
kilojoules/calories in your body (doing aerobics is a no-no as
|
|
is watching it!). What's even worse, if you do too much
|
|
exercise, you can start loosing some of your well built up
|
|
stores! Thus it is recommended that you find a job where you do
|
|
minimal physical exercise - office work being a desk is the
|
|
best. (Sex is the sole exception, but don't over do it. After
|
|
all, man cannot live on bread alone!).
|
|
|
|
I would have recommended the dole once but now it doesn't go
|
|
very far and isn't much to buy the essentials for this diet.
|
|
However, it does give you the opportunity to do nothing but lay
|
|
down all day! Be careful in the way you take days off (don't
|
|
want you loosing your job) in that you utilize them to the full
|
|
extent and do NO exercise at all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
The final note: in case you were wondering, 1 E.A. (Evil
|
|
Angel) = about 2.1 Calories, where 1 calorie is about 4
|
|
kilojoules. Also, since we're not mathematicians, scientists,
|
|
or anything else along that line here at Evil Angels our numbers
|
|
maybe a little off. So if you disagree with my figures then
|
|
stiff shit. I don't care and neither does anyone else!
|
|
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
________________________________________________
|
|
| |
|
|
| DEAR........... |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| ============ ____ ____ ____ ____ |
|
|
| // | | | | | | | | |
|
|
| // | | |____| |____| | | |
|
|
| // | | |\ |\ | | |
|
|
| // | | | \ | \ | | |
|
|
| // |____| | \ | \ |____| |
|
|
| =========================================== |
|
|
|________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
---== By Raster Bite ==---
|
|
|
|
If it's not easy being green, you make people sick to the core of
|
|
their existence, you have no one to turn to, if you tend to seek
|
|
the septic refuge of the local graffiti wall, you may be interested
|
|
to discover that we at Evil Angles now offer an advice line. We will
|
|
endeavour to solve your problems or, if we cant, then we will try to
|
|
humiliate, abuse, and basically make you look more foolish than
|
|
you thought you were before.
|
|
|
|
Read on....
|
|
|
|
_______________________________________________
|
|
| |_
|
|
| Dear Zorro: Why is the Universe expanding? |________________
|
|
| - Confused |________
|
|
| |
|
|
| Dear Cefiar: Everything is relative. Actually, you are getting smaller. |
|
|
|_________ - Zorro |
|
|
|_________________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
______
|
|
__________________ __________________| |_______
|
|
____________________| |_| |
|
|
| Dear Zorro: Why does Superman use a telephone box to change to his secret |
|
|
| identity and you use a toilet block ? ____|
|
|
| - Confused |
|
|
| |___
|
|
| Dear Dork: All that I am allowed to tell is that Superman has phoney |
|
|
| reasons and I have shitty ones. |__
|
|
| - Zorro |
|
|
|_____________________________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
|
|
_____________________________________________________________________________
|
|
| |
|
|
| Dear Zorro: Is it true? Is there life after an Engineering Degree? |
|
|
| - Terminal Engineering Student |
|
|
| |
|
|
| Dear Terminal Engineering Student: Even though a person's body can be kept |
|
|
| __ alive, a person is considered dead when |
|
|
|________| |______________ the brain cannot function and cannot be |
|
|
| repaired. No, there is no life after an |
|
|
| Engineering Course. ________|
|
|
| - Zorro |
|
|
|_________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
|
|
_____________________________________________________________________________
|
|
| |
|
|
| Dear Zorro: My girlfriend is really dog puking, bile chunderingly festering |
|
|
|_________ cunt ugly and she refuses to let me put a bag over her head when|
|
|
___| we fuck. What shall I do? ______________|
|
|
_| -Anonymous |______
|
|
___| |___
|
|
| Dear Lensman: This is a difficult one to answer. Here at Evil _|
|
|
|_____________ Angles when it comes to the "BEEN HIT WITH THE UGLY |__
|
|
| STICK" questions we usually resort to: Take _______|
|
|
|_______ the answer which you can cope with |
|
|
|__ the most...... ________|
|
|
________________________| |
|
|
| A) Turn her over... |
|
|
| B) You wear the bag.... |_
|
|
| C) If she's that ugly, fuck her with an axe..|__________________
|
|
|_____ D) Gaffer tape her head to the mattress.... |
|
|
|__ E) Threaten: "I will send you to Vagabonds house to live" |
|
|
|__ G) All of the above |
|
|
|________________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
|
|
_____________________________________________________
|
|
| |__
|
|
| Dear Zorro: Will I be remembered after I'm gone? |______
|
|
| - Anonymous |____________
|
|
| |
|
|
|Dear Vagabond: After you're gone? Most people can't remember you're here. |
|
|
|__________ The fact is you'll be remembered for three and a half hours |
|
|
| after you're gone. Then Young Talent time or a football match_|
|
|
| will be on, and people will return to more important stuff__|
|
|
| -Zorro |
|
|
|____________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
_______________________________________________
|
|
| |_____________________
|
|
| Dear Zorro: Where will I find Happiness? |
|
|
| - I'm not going to give you my name. ha ha |_____
|
|
| |
|
|
| Dear I'm not going to... etc: I have always found happiness |
|
|
|__________________________________________ on page 421 of the Concise _|
|
|
_| Oxford Dictionary. If you |
|
|
_| meant the question in a more |
|
|
_| philosophical way, I'd say check|
|
|
_| under your bed. Or you may __|
|
|
_| find happiness under someone |
|
|
_| elses bed. No one seems to be _|
|
|
_| looking under beds anymore. |
|
|
_| Something is lurking under my __|
|
|
_| four-poster; it's either the |
|
|
_| worlds largest dust ball or a |
|
|
_| convention of possums. At worst |
|
|
_| if you cant find happiness ____|
|
|
_| then you can find Happy. The |
|
|
_| town of Happy lies 32 Km |__
|
|
_| south or Armarilloin Texas -USA |
|
|
| - Zorro |
|
|
|_______________________________________|
|
|
|
|
___________________________________________________________________________
|
|
| |
|
|
| Dear Zorro: Do people like me? |
|
|
|________ |
|
|
| - [[[[[[[[[ ttt !!! ]]]]]]]]]] |
|
|
| [[[[[[[[[ tttt !!!!! ]]]]]]]]]] |
|
|
| [[[ tttt !!!!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ tttt ccccccccc !!!!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ ttttttttttttt cccccccccccc !!!!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ ttttttttttttt ccccc ccccc !!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ tttt cccc !!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ tttt cccc !!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ tttt cccc ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ tttt ttt cccc ccccc !!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[[[[[[[ tttt tttt cccccccccccc !!!!! ]]]]]]]]]] |
|
|
________| [[[[[[[[[ tttttt cccccccccc !!! ]]]]]]]]]] |
|
|
| _______|
|
|
| Dear [[[[[[[[[ ttt !!! ]]]]]]]]]] |
|
|
| [[[[[[[[[ tttt !!!!! ]]]]]]]]]] |
|
|
|____ [[[ tttt !!!!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ tttt ccccccccc !!!!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ ttttttttttttt cccccccccccc !!!!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ ttttttttttttt ccccc ccccc !!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ tttt cccc !!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ tttt cccc !!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ tttt cccc ]]] |
|
|
| [[[ tttt ttt cccc ccccc !!! ]]] |
|
|
| [[[[[[[[[ tttt tttt cccccccccccc !!!!! ]]]]]]]]]] |
|
|
| [[[[[[[[[ tttttt cccccccccc !!! ]]]]]]]]]] |_______
|
|
|___ |
|
|
| If you must ask, the answer is NO. They will like you, however, |
|
|
| with just a few changes in your behaviour. These simple steps |
|
|
| will make you immensely popular: ____________________________|
|
|
| |
|
|
| A) Always pick up the check. |__________________________
|
|
| B) Offer to lend money. |
|
|
| C) In most cases offer your wife or husband around but in |
|
|
| your case your pet labrador. |
|
|
| D) Go back to your home planet; was it Mars or Stupider? |
|
|
____| E) Give outrageous complements. |
|
|
| |
|
|
| When you are ready to follow this advice, please make me the first |
|
|
| person you contact. |
|
|
| - Zorro |
|
|
|______________________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
____________________________________________________________________________
|
|
<___ ____>
|
|
<__ Dear Zorro: What is love? _________o___ |
|
|
| _________ - Hairy Palms ___ ____|
|
|
| >
|
|
<_ Dear Hairy: Love is the ultimate form of like. You will have reached >
|
|
| this state when you can lend your beloved $20 and not __|
|
|
<______ charge interest. _______ ____>
|
|
| - Zorro |
|
|
|________________________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
|
|
| Dear Zorro: How can I find the Woman of my dreams? |
|
|
| - Dianne Nichols ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|
|
|
| |
|
|
| Dear Dianne: Hooley Dooley Dianne baby. It must get stuffy in the closet. |
|
|
| Nice to see you getting a bit of fresh air....Well, start |
|
|
| by going back to sleep, if things are working out well in |
|
|
| your dreams, keep seeing her. Some dream relationships worsen|
|
|
| and turn into nightmares. Be careful. In dreams, people are |
|
|
| often disguised - the woman you love may be your great |
|
|
| grandmother or Colleen McCullock. Why not wake up and forget |
|
|
| about the dream girls? Find a real, live human being. Start |
|
|
| dreaming about falling down a flight of stairs or not having |
|
|
| any money in the local brothel like the rest of us. Rest |
|
|
| assured, your dream girl is not dreaming about you she's |
|
|
| probably obsessed with the fury anchovy sandwich that shows |
|
|
| up in all of your dreams. |
|
|
| - Zorro |
|
|
| |
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
|
______________________________________________________
|
|
| |
|
|
| Dear Zorro: Is there a secret to life? |
|
|
| - Confused |
|
|
| |_
|
|
| Dear Confused: Yes. The secret to life is apricots. |_
|
|
| I cannot elaborate on this; I've |_
|
|
| already told you too much. However, |_
|
|
| I will pass along the secrets of life, |_
|
|
| numbers 2 through Z: __________|
|
|
|___________ |
|
|
| 2) Don't lift anvils unnecessarily. |_____________
|
|
| 3) Avoid betting on catapillar races. |
|
|
| 4) Give no answers till you have heard the question.|_
|
|
| 5) Don't trust people in masks. _____________________|
|
|
| 6) Never swim in an empty pool. |__________
|
|
| 7) Don't order the spaghetti at Pizza Hut. |
|
|
| 8) Trust no one named Guido. |___
|
|
| 9) Don't volunteer to lead the charge. |
|
|
| Z) Do unto others as you would do unto them. |_
|
|
|___________________ __________________|
|
|
____| By |_
|
|
_____| following |_
|
|
| these secrets you |___
|
|
| will find yourself gliding _|
|
|
|____ through life and not _|
|
|
| careering around _|
|
|
|_ like Fred in _|
|
|
| his car. |
|
|
|_______________|
|
|
|
|
|
|
.............................................................................
|
|
! !
|
|
! Dear Zorro:How kan I get ah jobb? !
|
|
! -Got any NUIs^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HAnononamus!
|
|
! !
|
|
! Dear BIGF00T: !
|
|
!................................................ You can't. !
|
|
! From the quality of !
|
|
! your questions I doubt !
|
|
! if you deserve the one !
|
|
! you probably don't have !
|
|
! your only hope is to !
|
|
! inherit money; buy the !
|
|
! company you don't work !
|
|
! for and promote yourself. !
|
|
!............................!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well well well. I thought that I'd never hear so much from all
|
|
you slugs out there in loser land. Oh, and talking of slime,
|
|
TAXI CAB I don't even know you, yet I have become overwhelmed with
|
|
nauseous fits of stomach wrenching agony ruining my shoes and jocks
|
|
by emptying my stomach and bowels.
|
|
|
|
Sorry about that but I cant help it. [He has always had problems
|
|
with skid marks -Ed] Maybe some one else could offer their advice
|
|
to me on this one. I think all TAXI CAB needs is to become a
|
|
member of the human race.
|
|
|
|
That almost sounds almost reasonable, although it probably
|
|
wouldn't work because the human body cannot exist with such a
|
|
thick coating of dirt, grime, slime, faeces and a vastly complex
|
|
echo system based on slugs, amoeba and other mind blitzingly
|
|
un-intelligent microbes... [Maybe he could live in a shell? -Ed]
|
|
|
|
Well I feel a bit better. Back to the point. I'll be happy to
|
|
reply to anyone else out there with problems in the next issue
|
|
if you leave me some mail on Twilite Zone. Oh, and a P.S. to
|
|
the Masked Avenger, no, there is no hope for you.
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
======================================
|
|
The Making of Anarchistic Tendencies
|
|
======================================
|
|
|
|
A lot of people are interested in the activities of Evil Angels.
|
|
Some of the questions most commonly asked of us are;
|
|
|
|
"Where do you get the ideas for your files?"
|
|
|
|
"How do you manage to come up with such incredibly
|
|
imaginative and wonderful reading material in
|
|
such a short time?"
|
|
|
|
"How do I become a member of Evil Angels?"
|
|
|
|
And most regularly; "How about a fuck?".
|
|
|
|
Well, the answer to the last question is, of course,
|
|
none of YOUR business (unless you ask us that), but we will now
|
|
attempt to show you what it is like producing these files.
|
|
|
|
|
|
STAGE I - The Theme
|
|
===================
|
|
|
|
The first stage in the creation of an issue of Anarchistic
|
|
Tendencies is the discussion and agreement on a theme.
|
|
|
|
After the first slab, the ideas being to flow. Fred will say some
|
|
thing like, "What abowt iv we rite wun 'bout Masky!?"
|
|
|
|
Ford Prefect will be sitting playing with his pussy.
|
|
|
|
Masky will suddenly realise that his sex life [or rather lack
|
|
thereof -Ed] will come under close scrutiny, and makes other
|
|
suggestions.
|
|
|
|
Three slabs later, Limmy will be trying to break the dunny, Fred
|
|
will be detecting virgins on The Twilite Zone, Ford Prefect will
|
|
be playing with his pussy, Masky will be unconscious in a pool
|
|
of his own vomit, and Vagabond will be in the corner clutching to
|
|
someone else's bottle of Midori. [Or what's left of it. - Ed]
|
|
|
|
Hopefully somewhere around the second slab, a theme was decided
|
|
upon, and even more hopefully, before the demise of the forth
|
|
slab, some ideas had been discussed.
|
|
|
|
|
|
STAGE II - WRITING OF AT's
|
|
==========================
|
|
|
|
This occurs in several places.
|
|
|
|
1. Ford Prefect writing his bits, and uploading them to The Twilite Zone.
|
|
|
|
2. Fred compiles Ford's and the other's submissions at work, and
|
|
tries to add in as many comments as possible. [EXAMPLE -Ed]
|
|
|
|
3. About 3 weeks later a conference with as many people worthy of
|
|
being quoted is started, and Fred will occasionally burp and
|
|
say "Hee hee... That's a quote! <BURP!>"
|
|
|
|
4. About a month after Fred promised to have it release, Ford will
|
|
leave a nasty message to Fred asking why it has not yet been
|
|
released, and Fred will say, "Have a read of the pre-release..."
|
|
|
|
5. About a month after Fred's second promise that there is absolutely
|
|
no way it could possible be delayed any longer, Ford will leave
|
|
another message about why it has not yet been released.
|
|
Fred will burp, drink beer and make up three more fictitious
|
|
release dates, hoping one of them will satisfy Ford.
|
|
|
|
6. With Masky's contribution of some quotes and awards, Eliminator's
|
|
latest drinking [and bonking -Ed] efforts, and Fred's actually
|
|
getting around to doing things at long last, the file begins to
|
|
take it's release format.
|
|
|
|
|
|
STAGE III - RELEASING OF ANARCHISTIC TENDENCIES
|
|
===============================================
|
|
|
|
The momentous occasion has arrived.
|
|
|
|
After Ford Prefect giving up all hope of ever getting a chance
|
|
to write something for the next issue, wearing his fingers to
|
|
the bone leaving abusive messages to Fred and stroking his pussy
|
|
bald, [LONNI!!! -Anon] Fred, Masky and Limmy gather around the
|
|
Twilite Zone one evening.
|
|
|
|
To a symphony of Fosters [NOT VIC BITTER LIMMY -Ed] cans
|
|
being cracked open, the file is at last placed into the file
|
|
area on Twilite Zone, it is then uploaded to as many BBS's
|
|
as is possible that night before we are overtaken with alcoholic
|
|
poisoning.
|
|
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
+--------------------------------+
|
|
SOLUTION TO LAST EDITION'S MYSTERY
|
|
+--------------------------------+
|
|
F O R D P R E F E C T
|
|
|
|
Okay, okay, here's the denouement- the solution to the question
|
|
"Who's been putting holes in Thelonius Monk's condoms?"
|
|
|
|
DOCTOR WHO.
|
|
|
|
There were only three ways the holes could have been put in
|
|
Monk's condoms.
|
|
|
|
i) Tampering with them while they were in the machine. Since
|
|
the lock had not been picked, and Brett lost his key long
|
|
ago, this is not the answer.
|
|
|
|
ii) Tampering with the condoms while Monk was carrying them
|
|
on his person. The only person who could have got close
|
|
enough for this was Julie Alderman, but as she said, she
|
|
hadn't seen after she vowed revenge, so she couldn't have
|
|
done it.
|
|
|
|
iii) The Doc's piercing devices. Everyone could have got their
|
|
hands on one of these. Alex Rogan bought one, Julie could
|
|
have taken one whilst snooping around his flat, and the
|
|
one that got stolen (if Julie didn't take one) could have
|
|
ended up in Brett's hands. But there is one problem. The
|
|
model of device in question was solar powered, and they
|
|
couldn't have operated in the darkness where the condom
|
|
vending machine was situated.
|
|
|
|
However, the order form reveals the Doc had the ability
|
|
to build one that didn't rely on solar power. Doc himself
|
|
admitted no-one else had even a solar-powered device, let
|
|
alone one with a power pack, so no-one else could have
|
|
done what he did after building a piercing device with a
|
|
power pack- he took the device into the Elizabeth Street
|
|
toilets and shot tiny holes through the dispenser and its
|
|
condoms.
|
|
|
|
His Motive? Julie had accidentally left Monk's black book
|
|
in the Doc's flat. His assumption- Monk had broken in.
|
|
The Doc was then worried everyone would find out about his
|
|
strange sexual practices, and vowed to get revenge.
|
|
|
|
Epilogue: The Doc went on trial (at the same court as Fred
|
|
did in AT10) and was found guilty. His sentence: 10 years
|
|
in Pentridge without trousers. Suffer, Doc!
|
|
|
|
[Suffer? He'd never want to leave - Ed.]
|
|
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
----------------------
|
|
THIS EDITIONS AWARDS
|
|
----------------------
|
|
|
|
Bastard EX-SYSOP of the Month..................... The Masked Avenger
|
|
|
|
My Board will be up soon! Award................... Fearless Fred
|
|
|
|
Boring Pissed Fart of the Month................... Vagabond
|
|
|
|
Romance of the Month.............................. Vagabond
|
|
The Bogan
|
|
|
|
LOST VIRGINITY OF THE MONTH....................... ????????
|
|
(Name withheld)
|
|
|
|
Pass The Bucket, I'm Going To Be Sick Again Award. Vagabond
|
|
|
|
I'll get around to answering my mail soon Award... Fearless Fred
|
|
|
|
I'm going to be boring by myself Award............ Vagabond
|
|
|
|
Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna, Batman! Award............ White Panther
|
|
|
|
Dunna Dunna Dunna WOT A WOMAN! Award.............. Pantha's Mistress
|
|
|
|
Hoon of the Month................................. Sparkie
|
|
|
|
Hoon of the Year.................................. Raster Blaster
|
|
(Bi Bi Integra.)
|
|
|
|
I'm Desperate Award............................... Disk Destroyer
|
|
|
|
I'm in Love with You, and You... Award............ Cefiar
|
|
|
|
Fuck of the Month................................. Eliminator
|
|
Janine
|
|
(Not Stalk's Janine)
|
|
|
|
Sponge Award...................................... Big Foot
|
|
|
|
I'm BACK!!!....................................... Taxi Cab
|
|
|
|
Dunny Buster Award................................ Eliminator
|
|
|
|
Bed Buster Award.................................. Eliminator
|
|
|
|
Pelvis Buster Award............................... Masky
|
|
|
|
Raider of the Lost Salami Award................... Big Mumsy
|
|
|
|
I'll Accept the Charges Award..................... Cefiar
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
-----------------------
|
|
QUOTES FOR THIS MONTH
|
|
-----------------------
|
|
|
|
"I can't give you a quote, I'm dead." - Craig Bowen
|
|
|
|
"Cum over here, Fred." - Masky
|
|
|
|
"Is he really as big as they say?" - Eliminator
|
|
|
|
"What can I do for ya?" - Masky
|
|
|
|
"Masky, don't put me in this position." - Disk Destroyer
|
|
|
|
"Some other time Masky." - Disk Destroyer
|
|
|
|
"I'm sorry Fred, another time." - Disk Destroyer
|
|
|
|
"I can handle 12 year olds" - Vagabond
|
|
|
|
"I prefer not to." - Disk Destroyer
|
|
|
|
"She doesn't feel in the mood at the moment." - Disk Destroyer
|
|
|
|
"What's up your ass Masky?" - Fred
|
|
|
|
"It's either Cefiar or Disk Destroyer." - Masky
|
|
|
|
"What else can you have in there that's hard?" - Vagabond
|
|
|
|
"Wait, I'm cumming!" - Eliminator
|
|
|
|
"Ahhhh! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!!!" - Masky
|
|
|
|
"How'd he handle it." - Royna
|
|
|
|
"I don't remember, you'll have to ask her." - Vagabond
|
|
|
|
"I had sticky fingers." - Royna
|
|
|
|
"She doesn't." - Disk Destroyer
|
|
|
|
"Ohhhhh, Ohhhhh, Ohhhhhhhhhh!!!!" - Royna
|
|
|
|
"She DOES!" - Lensman
|
|
|
|
"Oh Lensman, how disgusting." - Royna
|
|
|
|
|
|
===========================================================================
|
|
|
|
-------------------------
|
|
ANARCHISTIC CLASSIFIEDS
|
|
-------------------------
|
|
|
|
If you wish to advertise here feel free to send your submissions
|
|
to Fred C/O The Twilite Zone, 878-3539.
|
|
|
|
Please ensure that you include a Contact Name (Alias) and a place
|
|
you can be contacted.
|
|
- Ed
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
WANTED: GIRLFRIEND. Any condition, no previous experience
|
|
required, although preferred (I need to be taught).
|
|
|
|
Contact: Desperate & Dickless
|
|
C/O RRR FM, Saturday Nights.
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
WANTED: FRIEND: Preferably girl and willing to engage in
|
|
sex or that sort of thing.
|
|
|
|
Contact: The Sysop
|
|
C/O Hard (UP) Rock Cafe.
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
LOST: DOLE CHEQUES
|
|
|
|
Under the names of John Doe, Frank Williams,
|
|
Tim Smith and Samantha Fox.
|
|
|
|
If you find any of my Dole Cheques please send them
|
|
back! I have to pay my telephone bill soon!
|
|
|
|
CONTACT: BIGF00T
|
|
C/O Hard (Luck) Cafe
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
WANTED: Dirty Magazines and things.
|
|
|
|
CONTACT: Blue Adept
|
|
C/O Hard (ON) Cafe
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
If you have a problem with a phreaker, be it Calling Card,
|
|
diverter or any other related problem then, give the
|
|
PHREAK BUSTERS a call.
|
|
|
|
The Phreak Busters Can Be Contacted On The Following Numbers:
|
|
|
|
878-3539 Twilight Zone. Ask For Fearless Fred.
|
|
(He'll Zap Anything-Anywhere-Anytime)
|
|
|
|
562-0938 Burning Crucifix. Leave A Message To the "Masked Avenger"
|
|
|
|
Quotes ARE NOT free.
|
|
|
|
Problems with 'Taxi Cab' class phreakers incur extra
|
|
fees automatically.
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
FOR SALE: THE SOUNDS OF EXTASY
|
|
|
|
Recorded in Digital Stereo!
|
|
|
|
Over one hour of slurpy noises from the
|
|
Masked Avenger and his ex-girlfriend.
|
|
|
|
Available on record, cassette and soon to be released
|
|
on CD with a remix of the hit track: GROPE ME!
|
|
|
|
CONTACT: Evil Angels Marketing
|
|
C/O The Twilite Zone, 878-3539
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
FOR SALE: A big muthafucking anti-capitalist Monaro.
|
|
|
|
BIG RED V-8 Engine.
|
|
|
|
Other P Platers need not apply.
|
|
|
|
CONTACT: Ivan Trotsky
|
|
C/o Black Board.
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
----------------------
|
|
THE EVIL ANGELS TEAM
|
|
----------------------
|
|
|
|
At present the Evil Angels team consists of the following:
|
|
|
|
FOUNDER: The Masked Avenger.
|
|
|
|
EDITOR: Lightning Bolt (AKA Fearless Fred).
|
|
|
|
AUTHORS: Fearless Fred.
|
|
Ford Prefect.
|
|
Zorro (AKA Raster Bite... or whatever
|
|
he's calling himself now)
|
|
Avalon .. (One dot or two?)
|
|
[Bloody Traitor! - Ed]
|
|
|
|
ARTIST: Ford Prefect.
|
|
|
|
PROGRAMMER: Vagabond.
|
|
(BSF Boys)
|
|
|
|
OTHER MEMBERS: Thelonius Monk
|
|
The Lensman
|
|
Eliminator
|
|
Death Man
|
|
Zorro (What's his AKA?)
|
|
Nixx
|
|
SYN ... (Remember? The one with the cute ass?)
|
|
Disk Destroyer (Where's the whizz fizz?)
|
|
Ivan Trotsky (Tear down the Wall!)
|
|
Sprite
|
|
|
|
FAVOURITE PEOPLE: Taxi Cab Raster Blaster
|
|
(TO HASSLE) Captain Chaos Simply Sparks
|
|
Fire Fox Vagabond
|
|
SYN ... Masked Avenger
|
|
Disk Destroyer Lensman
|
|
Royna Eliminator
|
|
BIGF00T (Not Taxi in Disguise is it?)
|
|
|
|
YOU TOO can help rid the world of nerds by purchasing any of
|
|
the following quality official Evil Angels Products:
|
|
|
|
"I hate the Masked Avenger" Badges $3.00
|
|
|
|
Evil Angels Badges... $3.00
|
|
|
|
Bi Bi P.I. Video... $25.00
|
|
|
|
Evil Angels T-Shirts $15.00
|
|
|
|
Available in Blue or White with Black print.
|
|
_______ _______
|
|
/ \______/ \
|
|
/ \ /|
|
|
/___/| Evil Angels |\___\ / |-------- NOW
|
|
| ______ | \ |-------- AVAILABLE!
|
|
| / E.A. \ | \|
|
|
| | Logo | |
|
|
| \______/ |
|
|
| Ridding the |
|
|
| world of nerds!|
|
|
|________________|
|
|
|
|
Printed versions of Anarchistic Tendencies Parts 1 - 13: $39.00
|
|
|
|
Remember... donations to Evil Angels are NOT tax deductible,
|
|
but WILL help rid the world of nerds! All money
|
|
raised will be used to throw a big party at the
|
|
end of the year.
|
|
|
|
+-----------------------------------+
|
|
| Donations & Payments can be sent: |
|
|
| |
|
|
| TO: Fred or Masky, |
|
|
| P.O. Box 528, |
|
|
| Mulgrave North, 3170 |
|
|
| Make cheques payable to CASH! |
|
|
+-----------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
--------------------------------
|
|
THANKS TO THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE
|
|
--------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Vagabond: Good Luck with your new business.
|
|
|
|
BIGF00T: You'll make a nice target when I go hunting next.
|
|
|
|
Ford Prefect: Going Freelance huh? Oh well, good bye, good
|
|
luck, and thanks for all the bytes.
|
|
|
|
Eliminator: Thanks for ruining the foundations!
|
|
|
|
Cefiar: Thanks for losing my Grid Iron ball,
|
|
and thanks for replacing it TOMORROW!
|
|
|
|
And I promice not to reverse charges again
|
|
(today).
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
Anarchistic Tendencies XIII
|
|
(C) August-December 1989
|
|
YOU HAVE NO GODDAMNMUTHAFUCKING RIGHTS!
|
|
|
|
***************************************
|
|
* NO PART OF THIS FILE MAY BE *
|
|
* PUBLISHED IN MASS MEDIA WITHOUT *
|
|
* THE AUTHORS' WRITTEN PERMISSION *
|
|
* AND HALF THE AUTHORS DON'T KNOW *
|
|
* HOW TO WRITE. THE OTHER HALF ARE *
|
|
* USUALLY DRUNK! *
|
|
* *
|
|
* - That's a god-damned warning - *
|
|
* *
|
|
***************************************
|
|
|
|
::: YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL :::
|
|
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
-----------------------
|
|
DISCLAIMER/DATCLAIMER
|
|
-----------------------
|
|
|
|
The authors have gone to a hell of a lot of trouble to ensure that
|
|
this file contains offensive material. However, should you find
|
|
anything which you object to, STIFF SHIT! You can't sue us! This
|
|
file is written with the intent of producing a humorous file which
|
|
will be enjoyed by everyone, and no offense is intended towards any
|
|
person or persons no matter how often or in what context they are
|
|
mentioned. Dat's a Quote!
|
|
|
|
|
|
==========================================================================
|
|
|
|
Evil Angels Will Return With Anarchistic Tendencies XIV
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Complete with digitized (IBM ONLY) pictures...
|
|
|
|
See: The Masked Avenger Naked!
|
|
(Or at least his head on a naked body)
|
|
Vagabond at the New Years Eve Party
|
|
(Sound asleep with smudged lip stick)
|
|
Lifesize digitised picture of Fred's dick
|
|
(Only for people with 18 inch monitors)
|
|
|
|
and many more disgusting sights.
|
|
|
|
|