1522 lines
66 KiB
Plaintext
1522 lines
66 KiB
Plaintext
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{Knock knock.}
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Fearless Fred sighed, turned down the striptease music on his
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stereo, put down his omnipresent can of Fosters, logged someone off
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his bulletin board, walked over to open the front door slapping
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Dianne Nichols in the face on the way.
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"Oh, ####### #####", said Fred, not hiding his surprise, "It's
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you. I didn't recognise you with your clothes on. Nice trenchcoat
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you're wearing."
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A sly expression sidled it's way onto ####### #####'s face.
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"Say, do you... do you want to see what's under it?"
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"Err, yeah, I suppose... ", began Fearless Fred hesitantly.
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####### (What the hell, let's just call him Captain Chaos, since
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that's who it is...) Captain Chaos didn't wait a second before
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whipping the trenchcoat open and thrusting his pelvis forward
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slightly.
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Fred went bug-eyed. "My god, look how stiff it is! And it's all
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blue!"
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"Take a good, close look", commanded Captain Chaos. Fred leaned
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forward and ran his eyes over every inch of it before it began to
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dawn on him what was going on, and he straightened up.
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"Why... ", he said, "you've got... you've got..."
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"Yes", said Captain Chaos triumphantly, "I've got a policeman's
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uniform on, and yes it's mine. I've joined the force, and I'm now
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placing you, Mr Fearless Fred, under arrest to await trial in the
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Federal Court of Perversion, Alcoholism, and Smuttiness!"
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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########
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########
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##
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#####
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##### ## ## ## ##
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## ## ## ## ##
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######## ## ## ## ##
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######## ### ## ######
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####
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########
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## ##
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## ##
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########## ## ## ##### ##### ## #####
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########## ### ## ## ## ## ##
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## ## ## ## ## ## #### ## ####
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## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ##
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## ## ## ### ##### ##### ####### #####
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_ _ _ _ _ ___
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|_| |_| |_ |_ |_ |\ | |
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#############################################################
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########### A N A R C H I S T I C ###########
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#############################################################
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########## ##########
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########## ##########
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########## ##########
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########## ##########
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########## ##########
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#################
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#############
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#################
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########## ##########
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########## ##########
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########## ##########
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########## ##########
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########## ##########
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############################################################
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############ T E N D E N C I E S ###########
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############################################################
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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-=* THE DEFENSE-CASE OF A DIPSOMANIAC. *=-
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Mostly written by
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::: FORD PREFECT :::
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(Guide researcher gone temporary
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court reporter.)
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Edited and released by
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/
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/__ LIGHTNING BOLT
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/
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/
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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+---------------+
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W A R N I N G !
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+---------------+
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This Anarchistic Tendencies file contains some language and
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descriptions which may offend some readers. Offending people
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is not our intention, so if you think you are one of these
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readers stop reading now! [This means Julie Alderman! -Ed]
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This file contains no artificial flavors. Artificial colours
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(110, 122), Preservative (211). Alcohol content 37.5 alc/vol.
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Propellant: CHLOROFLUROCARBON. (Yep, a naughty CFC!)
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Nutritional Information.
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Each 50g Printout contains:
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49.20 g Fiber 200% Average Daily Req.
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0.65 g Glue and Other Yucky Stuff 500% " " "
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0.10 g Ink 900% " " "
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0.05 g Bullshit 100% " " "
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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+------------------+
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Ring these Boards!
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+------------------+
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Zen (Maybe) 899-6180 All Speeds 5 Lines All Day
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The Twilite Zone. 562-0686 300/300 1200/1200 24 hrs a day!
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Soon 2400 (Not 12/75)
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Doodz Domain. 646-5861 All Speeds 23 hrs a day!
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646-3171
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Further Regions. 725-1923 All Speeds 23 hrs a day!
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The Crossover. 367-5816 All Speeds 23 hrs a day!
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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+---------------------------------+
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The Defense-Case of a Dipsomaniac
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+---------------------------------+
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By Ford Prefect
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Judge, jury, and PI's executioner Craig Bowen fiddled with his
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gavel, feeling rather amused. With Taxi Cab being the prosecutor in
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the first case of the day, he ought to get a good laugh. Even now he
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(TC) was trying to get someone's (anyone's) attention and start
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Fred's trial.
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"You, Mr Fearless Fred of the Twilite Zone BBS stand before
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this court on the charge of conduct unbecoming of a SysOp", began
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Taxi, even though this was what Craig was supposed to state. He
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continued; "How do you plead?"
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"Not guilty!", exploded Fred as he jumped up dramatically to get
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a good look at the courtroom layout, and see if there was any way he
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could slip Craig a twenty.
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"Oh dear, that's plan A up the spout", muttered Taxi.
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"OK then Taxi, present your evidence", said Craig in a bored
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tone as he groped under his chair for a crossword.
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Taxi Cab brought out a video cassette labeled Article `A'.
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"This is a recording of the events that went on at the recent
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house-warming party for the Masked Avenger's new house. I present
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this as my evidence."
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Taxi Dork pushed the cartridge into a nearby VCR player, ejected
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it, removed the cover, inserted it, ejected it, turned it over,
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inserted it, and pressed the play button.
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The TV sitting by the player instantly came to life, showing
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Fearless Fred braving a wild storm and making his way up to Masky's
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porch...
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--------------------------------------------
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Fred rapped on the door and waited, shivering. In a moment he
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heard the sound of the door being unlocked, and as it opened he was
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hit by the sound of loud music, glasses clinking, and a hubbub of the
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latest Taxi Cab jokes.
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"Glad you could make it, Fred", said Thelonius Monk, who had
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answered the door.
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"Have you ever known me to miss a party?", joked Fred, "Say,
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where's Masky, by the way? Shouldn't HE be greeting his guests?"
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"Oh, he's inside... somewhere", said Monk, glancing over his
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shoulder, "anyway, come in, it looks terrible out there."
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"Ah, that's better", said Fred after he had gone inside and
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removed his coat, "there's more wind out there than what comes out of
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Masky's ass! Well, almost..."
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ECH!? appeared from behind a couch, clutching an empty bottle of
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vodka, and muttered in Monk's direction "I thunk I had ar luttle tooo
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mush tooo drunk... " and collapsed. As Monk disappeared behind the
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couch to offer assistance, Fred stepped into the room and looked
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around... Vagabond was alone in the corner drinking his NON-Alcoholic
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cider, guarding someone else's bottle of Midori. As Fred was surveying
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the room he was staggered into by The Lensman who had been indulging
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in one of Masky's home brewed beverages.
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"Hiya, Fred!"
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"Oh, hi Lenny", said Fred.
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"Great party, eh?"
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"Yeah. Do you think I could get a drink."
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"Sure, what are you having?"
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"Ohhhhhhhh, a bottle Southern Comfort for a start."
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"You know, you ought to try some of Masky's home-brew whiskey.
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Really powerful toddy that stuff! It's what Masky has whenever he
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goes on one of his frequent benders, so he calls it Bender Toddy."
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"Sounds great, I'll catch you later OK?" Fred walked off
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searching for the alcohol.
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Fred crossed the room, being greeted by several others, and
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finally found the bar. The racks and shelves along the back contained
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all manner of bottles, casks, and flagons, giving the impression of
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some sort of laboratory or wizard's workshop.
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On the bar itself were many different bowls of sweets, which
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Fred perused for a moment. He finally decided he might take a couple
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of redskins and try the Bender Toddy Lensman told him about.
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Then he saw Syn pouting at him from behind the counter. She winked at
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him, and with her sexy smile, gazed longingly at him with smoldering
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eyes. She moistened her lips and sat down on the edge of the bar.
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With feline grace she stretched out towards him, showing the tan on
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her beautifully rounded shoulders and revealing her gorgeous pair
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of.............shorts.
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Fred's erection was almost crippling him, so he sat down heavily
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on the nearest bar stool.
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"What's your fancy?", Syn asked sweetly.
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Fred raised an eyebrow, then realised she was trying to serve
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him a drink. He opened his mouth, but Syn had left him stunned and
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tongue-tied, and his order of four redskins and some Bender Toddy
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didn't quite come out the right way.
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"Err, I'll have red foreskins and a taste of your tender body
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thanks. No, that's not what I mean, I want.. ah..."
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Fred glanced around hurriedly and spotted a tiny bottle of the
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specially brewed rum Syn made in her own bath tub.
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"I'd love a slurp of your specially rude bum please Syn... No,
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Syn!..."
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Ten seconds later, Fred was in the men's toilet leaning over a
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gurgling sink whilst painfully holding a wet facewasher to his
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reddened cheek and tentatively plucking his eyelashes out of his own
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eye, mumbling "Rude bum? Oh god no! It's gorgeous!"
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One of the strange features of Masky's new house was that it had
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two sets of toilets; one for each sex, and had several stalls so
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they looked like they had come from a public loo or those found in a
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restaurant. Fred suspected that before Masky bought the house, it was
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occupied exclusively of women, for the Gent's didn't look like it had
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ever been cleaned from the day it was built.
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Along the back wall were three cubicles next to a urinal. The
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sink and chipped mirror were fixed next to the door.
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"Nyuuuuuuuurrrrggghhhneeeeerrrraaaaaggghhh!"
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Fred span around and looked with horror and disgust at the
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occupied, right-hand cubicle from whence the constipated outcry had
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originated.
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"Uhhhhhhohhhhhurrrrrggghh!"
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Fred winced, appalled, as he heard the crunch of teeth on the
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toilet door.
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A blessed silence again descended, but Fred still gave the
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occupied cubicle a wide berth as he headed for the toilet furthest
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away from it.
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Once inside the vacant loo, Fred closed and locked the door,
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pulled down his pants in the quick motion of someone who has found it
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handy to get them off quickly while standing at the side of a
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stranger's bed, and settled himself down on the black plastic ring.
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The toilet cubicle was a dark, moody place, but there was still
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enough light for Fred to survey his surroundings.
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Apart from the grimy toilet itself, there was a small shelf on
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one of the walls, on which was one of those stupid new toilet paper
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dispensers. The type where there isn't enough room for the toilet
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roll to turn around properly, so you end up ripping the first five
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metres out in tiny shreds.
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Also on the shelf, bravely trying to combat odors, was one of
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those plastic Magic Mushrooms. Various real ones grew around it for
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company. Finally, an old vaseline jar held several marking pens,
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their function obvious from the excessive amount of graffiti on the
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door and walls. Fred grabbed a black texta, knowing just what to
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write on the wall outside.
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"An orgasm in the bush is worth two in the hand", Lensman had
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once penciled. [Especially with Royna! - Ed]
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"Photo of Taxi Cab, wipe ass to develop" with an arrow pointing
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to the paper dispenser was Monk's effort.
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On the door, Ech had liquid-papered her contribution: "For a
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refreshing experience, press button whilst seated." (Ech!? What
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was SHE doing in there!?)
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Suddenly, the toilet door opened and closed, and for a brief
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moment the chaos of the party could be heard. Masky leaned against
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the door, breathing heavily through his mouth, lurched over to
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shakily grasp the sink, and then staggered into the middle loo and
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fell to his knees. With the forward and downward momentum, Masky
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chundered heavily into the toilet bowl, just getting his technicolour
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yawn in by the width of a bee's foreskin, and marked another notch
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onto the wall.
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"8093", he thought vaguely.
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Having completed his liquid laugh, the Masked Avenger rose rather
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unsteadily to his feet, as the horrible groaning started again.
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"Nyyyyyyuuuuurrrrrghhhhhaauhh!"
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Masky banged loudly on the door with his hairy palms and said
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loudly "Hey, mate, you having some sort of problem are or you just
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weight-lifting? Haha!"
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Masky weaved his way over to Fred's loo, and shouted through the
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door, "Hey Fred, you're missing a classic party, you know!"
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"Yeah, okay", replied Fred, "I'll be out in a minute. It's
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coming out very easily!"
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Masky was about to reply, when his befuddled brain began to
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think about what it had heard.
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"Err, hey what?"
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"I'm talking about the toilet paper. Usually it jams."
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"Oh, right."
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There was a pause, a gurgling flush, and Fred opened the door.
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On the way out, Fred told Masky about his earlier encounter with Syn.
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"You better watch out for her in future then", said Masky, and
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continued with a laugh, "just in case your Bloody Mary has a string
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in it. You going to join the party or are you an Ollie?"
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"Yeah, I'll be there in a sec, just have to do something first."
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Fred proceeded to write on the wall next to condom vending machine
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"Insert Baby For Full Refund!", and headed back to the party.
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Masky laughed and opened the outer door, and found that in the
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last few minutes, the party had rapidly turned into a frenzied orgy.
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Not long after Masky had left the room, Thelonius Monk had
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started making prank phone calls. Fred grabbed the phone, and
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dialed the number of the local McDonalds.
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"Good evening, I'd like to book a table for six please."
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{pause}
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"What do you mean you don't take bookings?"
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{pause}
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"It says here that you are a `family restaurant'..."
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{pause}
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"Can I speak to the manager please, you dumb bitch!"
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{pause}
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"Oh, in that case, can you guarantee I will get a seat?"
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{pause}
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"Well, you can sit on my face if you want!"
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{long pause}
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"The bitch hung up!"
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Monk took over and called up another McDonalds, one of the few
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that have taken it upon themselves to make home deliveries, and
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placed an "order" with Fire Fox, who was moonlighting from her other,
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similar job at Dial a Dinos.
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"I'll have five sleaze-burgers and a large side-order of
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Frenchie-fries, thanks", Monk told her.
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After the crowd who had gathered around the phone had stopped
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laughing, Sprite grabbed the phone and shouted:
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"You can give me a big crack and a dick shake any day!"
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Eliminator leaned over Sprite's shoulder, and said into the
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phone, "Hello? You still there? Hey, something that might interest
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you: Did you know that our host is a daughter-pounder? Hehehe."
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What they didn't know was that Fire Fox was the local nookie-
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bookie, and in five minutes she had arrived around with nine gorgeous
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prostitutes.
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"Hey wow, what a beautiful block of flaps", exclaimed Fred as he
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entered the lounge and saw them.
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Fred put on a suave, casual nonchalant look, and snapped his
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fingers in the air to get the attention of one of the girls.
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Fortunately, one of the girls loved masochists and was quite
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taken (in) by Fred, for she was a sadist and she knew they would
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enjoy each other's company.
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So, as she bandaged Fred's fingers, they went upstairs to
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Masky's spare bedroom which they were pleased to find empty.
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The extremely willing girl, whose name incidentally was Julie
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Alderman, pulled back the sheets of the bed and sat down. She slowly
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stripped down to her black silk underwear and a puff-sleeved night
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gown. Then she leaned back on the cool pillows, smiled coyly, and
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beckoned to Fred with her tongue.
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Fred, who had been standing at the bottom of the bed quickly got
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undressed, and slipped between the sheets beside her and silently
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kissed her neck.
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Julie moaned and drew closer to him.
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"Oh Fred!", she whispered, "why don't you slip a finger in my
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[DELETED]? Here, let me play with your [DELETED]."
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Fred obliged, and Julie's breathing quickened as the air around
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them began to warm up.
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"Oh yes Fred! You're about to see how Juicy I can get! Oh, but
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your ring keeps hurting me!"
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"That's not my ring", retorted Fred, "that's my fucken'
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wristwatch!"
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Fred's head disappeared under the sheets.
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"My god, it's like the city loop in here! It's like the city
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loop in here!"
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Julie blushed rather heavily (Oh, an interesting piece of trivia
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which seems appropriate to insert here: Did you know that when you
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blush with your clothes on, the blush is confined to your face, but
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when you're naked you blush with your whole body? Some of our more
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adventurous readers may care to confirm or disprove this. Anyway,
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back to Jewels...) [I've noticed that women tend to blush right
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on the end of their tits when they aren't covered - Ed's helper]
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"Well you didn't have to say it twice!"
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"I didn't", protested Fred, re-appearing for a moment.
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"Hey, are these really miniature stalactites?"
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"Yes", said Julie, "they're good conversation pieces. Anyway,
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enough foreplay, I want your body!"
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Fred took one of Julie's feet in his hands, lightly tickling the
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sole with one finger. After a single suck on each toe, [Hang on,
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Masky's the toe sucker around here! - Ed] he rested a hand
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on each ankle and slowly slid them up her smooth, glistening
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body until he felt, under his cupped hands, her firm, trembling
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spheroids.
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Fred grabbed them and quickly began kneading and squeezing
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them before reaching under the bed, producing an aerosol can,
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and squirting exquisitely shaped blobs of whipped cream over them.
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Fred mauled her as he spread the cream around with his tongue
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and licked it off.
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Having finished with her kneecaps, Fred put on a few condoms
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(he still likes to play it safe) and Julie slowly slid...
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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[The rest of this sequence has been excised on the grounds of
|
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good taste and privacy. We will say nothing more than that the
|
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passage removed contained a lot of heavy breathing, left Masky with
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a massive cleaning bill, and took between three and three-and-a-half
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hours.]
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|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
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|
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"There you are", said Taxi, "Craig, make your verdict."
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"I protest!" exclaimed Fred.
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"One what grounds?" queried Craig surprised at Fred's outburst.
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"We haven't seen the good bits yet... Julie does wonderful things
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|
with a Bamix, and the bits where she..."
|
|
|
|
"Enough!" Craig cut in, "I shall now give my verdict. Fearless Fred
|
|
I find you Not Guilty! This evidence depicts perfectly normal
|
|
behavior for a SysOp! However, I find you, Mr Gordon T. Cab,
|
|
guilty of being a total dork!"
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
+---------------+
|
|
Biodata Extract
|
|
+---------------+
|
|
|
|
NAME: [WITHHELD]
|
|
|
|
PRIMARY ALIAS: Fearless Fred.
|
|
|
|
SECONDARY ALIAS(ES): Lightning Bolt.
|
|
|
|
OCCUPATION: Microcomputer Consultant.
|
|
|
|
LEADERSHIP ACHIEVEMENTS FOLLOW:
|
|
|
|
President and Founder of B.A.L.L.S. (Bottled Alcoholic Liquids
|
|
Liberation Society.)
|
|
|
|
Enforcement Officer of P.A.N.I.D.O.L. (Protection Against Nerds
|
|
In Disguise Or Losers.)
|
|
|
|
Treasurer of P.A.T.H.Y. (People Against Two Hundred Years)
|
|
(Possibly now disbanded) [Yep, gone. -Ed]
|
|
|
|
Editor of Anarchistic Tendencies. [The one that does these little
|
|
comments in square brackets. -Ed]
|
|
|
|
Patron Member of Y.A.C.R. (Yobbos Against Clean Rooms).
|
|
|
|
Major supporter and a founding member of the Thelma & Ruby Fan Club.
|
|
[It should be mentioned that Night Stalker is THE Founding Member.
|
|
It should not be mentioned that SYN is very close to both Thelma
|
|
and Ruby. - ED]
|
|
|
|
Headmaster of the Fearless Fred school of Perversion.
|
|
|
|
Founding Member and leader of ELDERS.
|
|
|
|
ACHIEVEMENTS:
|
|
|
|
SysOps his own BBS - The Twilight Zone (562-0686) despite
|
|
occasional hard disk problems and winging users.
|
|
|
|
Recognised worldwide for perversion.
|
|
|
|
SOCIAL STANDINGS:
|
|
|
|
GIRLFRIENDS (PAST): Various.
|
|
[HeHeHe -Ed]
|
|
|
|
GIRLFRIENDS (PRESENT): Recently involved with Juicy Julie.
|
|
[No comment on that! -Ed]
|
|
|
|
FAVORITE DRINK(S): Alcohol.
|
|
- Southern Comfort is his favorite.
|
|
- Whipped cream and Julie Juices.
|
|
|
|
HIS SIGNOFFS: (Official Macrology Report)
|
|
|
|
+-----------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|+-----------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
||+-----------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
||| |
|
|
||| MACROLOGIST'S REPORT Subject: Fearless Fred. |
|
|
||| ----------------- |
|
|
||| Date: 9/1/89 |
|
|
||| By: FP |
|
|
||| |
|
|
||| MACRO SAMPLE: |
|
|
||| +--------------------------------------+ |
|
|
||| | | Sample |
|
|
||| | | Date: |
|
|
||| | /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ | 31/07/87 |
|
|
||| | ---> F E A R L E S S F R E D <--- | 02:44:25am |
|
|
||| | \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ | |
|
|
||| | | |
|
|
||| +--------------------------------------+ |
|
|
||| |
|
|
||| COMMENTS: Clearly the signoff of an egotist. |
|
|
||| -The inward-pointing arrows say "Look at what |
|
|
||| a king dick I am" |
|
|
||| -The surrounding corona of diagonal lines |
|
|
||| suggest a shining brilliance over others, or |
|
|
||| perhaps the sun shining from his lower |
|
|
||| posterial region. |
|
|
||| -The horizontal length of the name is inflated,|
|
|
||| like his ego. |
|
|
||| |
|
|
||| MACRO SAMPLE: |
|
|
||| +-----------------------------------+ |
|
|
||| | See you in... | Sample date: |
|
|
||| | _______ ____ | |
|
|
||| | | Fearless Fred's / | 19/08/87 |
|
|
||| | The | ** 5620686 ** / | 01:13:51am |
|
|
||| | | W I L I T E / O N E | |
|
|
||| | | /___ | |
|
|
||| | | |
|
|
||| | | |
|
|
||| +-----------------------------------+ |
|
|
||| |
|
|
||| COMMENTS: Anyone remember this hideous thing Fred came |
|
|
||| up with one day? |
|
|
||| The one everyone hated and thought looked silly|
|
|
||| I remember leaving a note to Fred about it at |
|
|
||| the end of a message to him, something along |
|
|
||| the lines of "As for your new macro, not bad |
|
|
||| but try again, eh?" And then Fred breaks into |
|
|
||| chat and demands to know what's wrong with it! |
|
|
||| Hehehe (I just BSed about how everyone would |
|
|
||| have "culture shock" and he seemed to believe |
|
|
||| me.) |
|
|
||| |
|
|
||| Later Fearless Fred came up with "sensible" |
|
|
||| macros |
|
|
+|| |
|
|
+| [I happened to like it! -Ed] |
|
|
+-----------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
QUOTE WHICH SUMS UP HIS LIFESTYLE:
|
|
|
|
"What we need is one of those good old piss ups like it
|
|
used to be... where those that drank could get pissed
|
|
among friends, and throw up everywhere, and feel good
|
|
in the morning about it...." - FF (17/05/88 00:29:37am)
|
|
|
|
[Feel good the next morning? I say THAT? -Ed]
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
+-------------+
|
|
Times to Pass
|
|
+-------------+
|
|
|
|
NOTE: From any point in time, there are a wide range of
|
|
POTENTIAL futures. Some events are sometimes inevitable
|
|
so they occur in nearly every potential future, while
|
|
others are extremely unlikely and only happen in a few.
|
|
|
|
The potential future events described below were
|
|
recorded by using my dimensional inducting scanner and
|
|
are deliberately 50-50 futures. Thus these events have
|
|
an equal chance of becoming reality or simply not
|
|
happening.
|
|
|
|
We at Evil Angels decided this was the way best to give
|
|
you a glimpse of Times to Pass, as knowledge of definite
|
|
future events may, in some cases, be psychologically
|
|
damaging - FP.
|
|
|
|
* Monday 29th June, 1992.
|
|
Due to the influence of certain users and the secret
|
|
discussions of drugs and other controlled substances, and
|
|
prostitution (despite Craig's continual pleas for it to stop)
|
|
Zen BBS is taken off-line permanently.
|
|
|
|
* Monday 9th August, 1993.
|
|
Raster's aptitude allows him to get a job with the RTA,
|
|
crashing cars into brick walls.
|
|
|
|
* Wednesday 16th Oct, 1996.
|
|
Taxi Cab's bowel transplant is troubled by complications. He
|
|
dies two days later when the bowel rejects him. Telecom mourns
|
|
their loss and offer to pay for the burial.
|
|
|
|
* Saturday 21st April, 2001.
|
|
Fearless Fred tries to sweep Royna off her feet at the
|
|
Wheelers Hill Pub, but fails. Something about "Unless your
|
|
d___ has annual rings, I don't want to f___ you!"
|
|
|
|
* Sunday 22nd April, 2001.
|
|
Fearless Fred gets into the Guiness Book of World Records by
|
|
setting a new beer guzzling record.
|
|
Tonight he does succeed in sweeping Royna off her feet, as
|
|
well as most of the other bar patrons when he rushes to the
|
|
Men's after his incredible drinking binge..... and fails
|
|
reaching it by three steps.
|
|
|
|
* Monday September 9th, 2002.
|
|
Captain Chaos, sick of having government-issue artificial
|
|
beach sand kicked in his face and being an eight-stone
|
|
weakling, finally fulfills his greatest dream and becomes an
|
|
18-stone man of steel......... He gets an iron lung.
|
|
|
|
* Tuesday 3rd May, 2005.
|
|
Ivan Trotsky returns home to Kovrov, USSR. Unfortunately,
|
|
when he was going through customs, the X-ray machine detected
|
|
his American-made underwear, so he was immediately seized and
|
|
put to work in the salt mines. (The super-power situation has
|
|
not improved much).
|
|
Three days later he died of dehydration, and was given a
|
|
routine burial in the Mirnyy cemetery. Syn attended the funeral
|
|
and threw herself onto the mass grave, crying it was nothing
|
|
more than a "communist plot".
|
|
|
|
* Tuesday 21st March, 2006.
|
|
Hyperspace drive technology achieved.
|
|
|
|
* Monday 10th December, 2007.
|
|
As more and more forest areas are given over to logging, the
|
|
areas of natural vegetation diminish and the Earth's
|
|
atmospheric problems worsen. As a protest to this, Randy Royna
|
|
sits with a tree stump for 48 hours, in what was once
|
|
Kakadu National Park. Afterwards, her gynecologist
|
|
diagnoses her as having genital termites.
|
|
|
|
* Wednesday 20th July, 2008.
|
|
The BBS-users' Holiday Plan goes into action.
|
|
This Plan was an idea dreamt up by the BBSs' living God,
|
|
Craig Bowen. After everyone agreed that it was a good idea,
|
|
he fed the names of regular users into his computer, and it
|
|
selected destinations from its atlas database that reminded it
|
|
of each user.
|
|
The Holiday Plan was booked with Pan Galactic Shuttles inc.,
|
|
and for a small cost, everyone participating got a good weeks
|
|
rest from strenuous BBSing.
|
|
Here is the hardcopy of the flight data Craig got when he
|
|
booked the shuttle.
|
|
|
|
,_______
|
|
_/| Flight---------_____________
|
|
_/ | NB Baggage must be aboard b-----_________
|
|
| O | --------______
|
|
|---|-----------------------------------------------------|---|
|
|
| O | PAN GALACTIC SHUTTLE (3) flight # 69 | O |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| O | DEPARTS: Melbourne Shuttle Pad. | O |
|
|
| | DESTINATION(S): Multiple. | |
|
|
| O | | O |
|
|
| | PASSENGER LIST: DESTINATION DATA: | |
|
|
| O | | O |
|
|
| | Craig Bowen.............SISOPON (Khmer Rep) | |
|
|
| O | [What he does best.] | O |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| O | Disk Destroyer..........VIRGIN ISLANDS (West Indies)| O |
|
|
| | [He'll fit in well.] | |
|
|
| O | | O |
|
|
| | SYN ... ................ARS (Denmark) | |
|
|
| O | [Her cutest part.] | O |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| O | Thelonius Monk..........TONGUE (Scotland) | O |
|
|
| | (timeshare with Ech?!) | |
|
|
| O | | O |
|
|
| | Fearless Fred...........BEERS (Netherlands) | |
|
|
| O | | O |
|
|
| | Randy Royna.............SHAG ROCKS (Atlantic Ocean) | |
|
|
| O | [... or tree-stumps, or | O |
|
|
| | bushes, or anything else | |
|
|
| O | for that matter...] | O |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| O | The Masked Avenger......COCKBURN (South Australia) | O |
|
|
| | via LYSS (Switzerland) | |
|
|
| O | | O |
|
|
|---|-----------------------------------------------------|---|
|
|
| O | Ice Man.................WANKIE (Rhodesia) | O |
|
|
| | [He is a bit.] | |
|
|
| O | | O |
|
|
| | Raster Blaster..........MANGALME (Chad) | |
|
|
| O | [His Kamikaze Deathwish | O |
|
|
| | whenever he screeches | |
|
|
| O | towards a fence or truck.] | O |
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| O | Lensman.................KENNEDY SPACE CENTER. | O |
|
|
| | [To show them where they're | |
|
|
| O | going wrong with their own | O |
|
|
| | rocket fuel.] | |
|
|
| O | | O |
|
|
| | Juicy Julie.............ANTARCTICA (Aust. terr.) | |
|
|
| O | [Frigid woman] | O |
|
|
------_______________________-----------------------_ | |
|
|
-----|_O_|
|
|
|
|
* Thursday 19th November, 2009.
|
|
The principals of time travel are discovered.
|
|
|
|
* Friday 17th September, 2010.
|
|
Voyager II comes back "Return to Sender".
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
+-----------+
|
|
Sex Symbols
|
|
+-----------+
|
|
|
|
Once, human beings could be divided into two distinct groups,
|
|
each of which had its own distinct symbol. These groups were...
|
|
__,
|
|
/|
|
|
___/ ___
|
|
/ \ / \
|
|
| | and | |
|
|
\___/ \___/
|
|
| FEMALE
|
|
MALE -+-
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
However, we at Evil Angels realise these two symbols are not
|
|
enough to cope with the greatly differing people of the BBS
|
|
world, so we have come up with a new set of symbols which
|
|
succeed in describing people where the two above fail...
|
|
__.
|
|
___/| ___
|
|
/ \ / \ TAXI CAB, DISK DESTROYER
|
|
| | | |
|
|
\___/ \___/
|
|
|
|
THE MASKED AVENGER __.
|
|
/|
|
|
__ ___/
|
|
___/ \ FRED AFTER / \
|
|
/ \ | A NIGHT AT | | DIANNE NICHOLS
|
|
| | | THE PUB \___/
|
|
\___/ | |
|
|
\|/ -+-
|
|
v |
|
|
_ _ ___
|
|
/.\_/.\ JULIE / \ SYN ...
|
|
\_/ \_/ ALDERMAN \ /
|
|
| | / \
|
|
\___/ \___/
|
|
| |
|
|
-+- -+-
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
+-------------------------+
|
|
The Dianne Nichols Affair
|
|
+-------------------------+
|
|
|
|
Anyone who regularly visits Fearless Fred's Twilite Zone
|
|
would have had considerable difficulty ignoring the resident
|
|
nifty nympho, Dianne Nichols.
|
|
|
|
After hearing so much about her various sexual orgies with
|
|
Rory the Elephant, Eric the Desk Lamp, Gordon the Rhino,
|
|
Walter the Camel, Mick the Photocopier, Frank the Vacuum
|
|
Cleaner, et al, people began to wonder just who she was, so
|
|
she finally made her public debut at the Final PI Meet.
|
|
|
|
Of course, those who didn't turn up didn't realise she was
|
|
a blow-up doll ("...it is a fact that Dianne has a rather
|
|
plasticy epidermis..." - FF), which led to some confusion...
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
From: Dianne Nichols Rec'd
|
|
To: Sprite Msg #21, 23-Jan-89 10:20pm
|
|
Subject: Apology Accepted.
|
|
|
|
"... and I am also rather upset with Fred that because he had
|
|
a full car that I spent the trip into the city in the boot!"
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
"She did travel in the boot" - FF
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
From: Julie from The Treasure Chest(s)!!
|
|
To: All Msg #24, 24-Jan-89 11:16am
|
|
Subject: In the BOOT!!!
|
|
|
|
"You travelled in the BOOT Dianne,I assume you are joking!!!
|
|
Fred NEVER ceases to amaze me?"
|
|
|
|
[Oh huney, you come up with some amazing things to! -Ed]
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
From: Pumpkin Power Msg #25, 24-Jan-89 02:14pm
|
|
To: Julie from The Treasure Chest(s)!!
|
|
Subject: Re: In the BOOT!!!
|
|
|
|
"Actually Dianne deserved to travel in the boot after the way
|
|
she behaved in the theatre. But Fred managed to keep her
|
|
under control with a slap here and there! Really, don't
|
|
worry too much about her, if you had come to the meet you
|
|
would know why!!"
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
"... she went into the theatre in my bag and was
|
|
blown up in the theatre and emerged in her full glory
|
|
at the end of the movie to the usher's ... horror." - FF
|
|
|
|
Not long after this, Fred (who was leaving messages as Dianne
|
|
Nichols on his BBS, made one massive mistake when he replied
|
|
the messages as Fearless Fred, but signed off as Dianne!
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
Eg: From: Fearless Fred
|
|
To: Ishap Msg #31, 24-Jan-89 06:59pm
|
|
Subject: Re: Well Guess what...
|
|
|
|
Well matey, I may just happen to ask Fred who you are, and
|
|
get him to fix you up.
|
|
|
|
As for my dressing gown, it was actually Fred's. He lent it
|
|
to me for the day.
|
|
|
|
Love,
|
|
Di.
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
This all led to Fred receiving messages like this one...
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
TO: Fearless Fred
|
|
FROM: Sprite
|
|
SUBJECT: Re: Arrgrghrghgh
|
|
|
|
hehehe... I heard about that! A blow up doll... So you
|
|
did write those messages... I really think The Australian would
|
|
be interested, after their little BBS bash week.
|
|
|
|
An anonymous caller rang through with the message
|
|
that a certain well known figure in the BBS community
|
|
known as Fearless Fred, has for the last couple of years
|
|
been masquerading as a very promiscuous and highly
|
|
suspect female. The SysOp, known in certain circles
|
|
to be a confirmed alcoholic, is known to have left at
|
|
least 50 messages on a Bulletin Board he runs, offering
|
|
sexual advice and tips to other BBS users. At one stage
|
|
he claimed to have had sexual intercourse with Mr Gordon
|
|
T. Cab, later realising that such a claim was perhaps
|
|
stretching his credibility, and admitting that the `Gordy'
|
|
in question was in fact a Hippopotamus stolen from the
|
|
Melbourne Zoo. Having buggered the animal, Mr Fred then
|
|
seduced several male members of his board.
|
|
|
|
When we rang to confirm the story, Mr Fred said
|
|
"Piss off, I have a headache! Bruce... (click)" and put the
|
|
telephone down. Police are looking into the matter.'
|
|
|
|
seeya
|
|
Sprite
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
+-------------------+
|
|
Entertainment Guide
|
|
+-------------------+
|
|
|
|
N O W O P E N !
|
|
|
|
- The Evil Angels Cinema Complex. -
|
|
- Three auditoriums. -
|
|
(At 264B Swanston St, City)
|
|
|
|
| ___
|
|
Prices: Children................ /---\ / \
|
|
Adults.................. | | | _ _
|
|
Pensioners.............. \---\ ----| / \ / \
|
|
Students................ | | | | | | |
|
|
\---/ \___/ o \_/ \_/
|
|
Nerds and Losers need |
|
|
not even try to get in.
|
|
|
|
N O W S H O W I N G . . .
|
|
|
|
+-------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
1st March - 11th April [CINEMA 1]
|
|
|
|
If you vomited at "Watership Down"...
|
|
If you change channels when a Bugs Bunny cartoon comes on...
|
|
|
|
Then you'll love...
|
|
|
|
___
|
|
######
|
|
:##:::##
|
|
:## :## W h o M a i m e d :#####
|
|
:## :## :##:###
|
|
:## ## :### :### :## :## :## :## :###
|
|
:##### :### :# :# :#:# :### ## :# # :##:# :###
|
|
:##### :#:# :# :## :#__:# # :##### :## # :## :# :##:# :##:###
|
|
::##:##:# :#:# :# :###:## :## :## :#### :#### :## # :## :#
|
|
::##:## :# # :# :# :# :# # :## :##:## :#:##::# :#### :## :#
|
|
::## :##:### :### :### :# :#:## :#:## :# :## :#
|
|
::## :## :## :#### :## :#
|
|
::## :## :#
|
|
|
|
DOUCHEFOAM PICTURES and STEVEN SPIELNERD present <G>
|
|
|
|
__
|
|
FILMED WITH THREE-D STEREOSCOPIC / /
|
|
------- | \
|
|
CINEMATOGRAPHY! / \_
|
|
_/ \
|
|
/ \_
|
|
/ \
|
|
| \
|
|
/ \_
|
|
__/ \_
|
|
/ \_
|
|
/ \_
|
|
_/
|
|
/ _______ _____
|
|
__/ _/ \_ __/ __\_
|
|
__/ _/ \________/ __/ |
|
|
/___ __| / |
|
|
\_/ | __-__ __--__ | /
|
|
\ \___o\ / \_o__// |
|
|
_ | | |
|
|
/ \ \ / _ / /
|
|
| | | | |
|
|
| | \_ _ - -- -_ / /
|
|
| | \_________ _/_____/
|
|
/ \ / / | | | \ / | | | \
|
|
____| |________________| | | | | |_____| | | | |_
|
|
/-----/ # \ # \_/ | | | | _| | | | | \
|
|
\-----\______________/____________| | | | |___/ \ | | | |_/
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/ # \ \_|_|_|_/ | | | | | /
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|\ / ## ## \ /| | | \_______/
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| \_ | ### ### | _/ | | |
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| \_/## #### \ _/ |
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| # ## ##### # \__/ |
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\ ## # ######## ## / ___
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\_ ########### ### / / \ ___
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\_ ###/ \### ## # _/ | | / \
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# \__#/ \#### _/ ## | | | |
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_____| \#######_/ | \ | |
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_/ __/ \####/_ \ \ \ | |
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/ _/_/ /\ # / \| _-----__| \/ |
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/ |/ | | ___ / \ / |
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| / | | / \_| | _\----_ |
|
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/ / | \ | \_ o \__---- . . \ /
|
|
| / / | \ \ _/\_________ . \ |
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|
| | | | \_ o |_/ _/ / / \_ | /
|
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| / | \ # \ _/ / _/ _/ \ | ______/
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| | # _|____/ # \_/ / / / / | / \
|
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|/ # / # | . . \_ /| _/ /\______/
|
|
|| | . . \___/ |/\_/ | \
|
|
|| | _____ / | |
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\| \_ __/ ------_________/ \ |
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|
| |\_ __/_ |___| | |
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| | \__ | \_ __ __ / / | \
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| | \__ \_/ \/ \ / / | |
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| | \__ \ \ \__| | | |
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|
| / ___ \ \ _/ _/ ____ | |
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\ | / \__ \_\ |_/ / O \ | |
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|
| / | O \_ | \___/ | / | ___| |
|
|
\___/ --| \_| | / O |___-- |
|
|
\ | \_-----_-/ / |
|
|
_/ \ O O \ O \ / _______/
|
|
/ \ | | O \ ____--
|
|
_/ / O| O | O |
|
|
/ /| |______/ |
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_/ _/ | O / \___ O |
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/ / | __/\ | \____/
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| _ / \____/ | | |
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| \/ | | \ | \
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| | | \ | | |
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| \ | | \ | \
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\ | | \ | \ |
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| \ | | \ | \
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\ | |__ | ___\ | __ |
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| \ / \ \ | \| | / \\
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\ | | \ |\__/| \\ | |
|
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| \ \ | \___/ | \_/ /
|
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\ \ | |_/ \_ \___/
|
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\_ \___/ --/ \ |
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\ / / \___ |
|
|
\_ | | ---_|_
|
|
\_| | \
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|
\_\ |
|
|
_/ \-___ \ |--_____/
|
|
_/ \ \_/ /
|
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/ /\_ \ /
|
|
| / \_ | |____
|
|
| | /\___/ ----__
|
|
| \___/ \
|
|
| |
|
|
/ ___ \
|
|
| ---\ |
|
|
| \ \
|
|
| | __|_
|
|
| | ___--- \
|
|
/ | _- ------,
|
|
_/ | __- _______ |
|
|
/ ___________ | _- ___---- -_
|
|
/ ___--- --_|_- __-- \
|
|
/ _- ____------__ \__- \
|
|
|- _/---- \_|FP'89 \
|
|
| _/ __ \ \_
|
|
/ /__----__ \ \ \_---_ ___ _ \
|
|
|_/ \ | | | \_ \__ \ \
|
|
\____/\__/\ | \_ \ \ |
|
|
\__/ --__ | |--'
|
|
--____|\---'
|
|
|
|
+-------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
1st March - 28th March [CINEMA 2]
|
|
|
|
|\ /| ____ |
|
|
| | | | / \-|- | |
|
|
| \ / | | | _ _ _ -|- | _
|
|
| | | |\ / \___ | / \ |/ \ |___ / \ | |_ / \ |/\
|
|
| | | | | | \ | |_/ | | | | | | | | | \ |_/ |
|
|
| \ / | \ / | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
|
|
| \/ | \/ \___/ \_ \_/ |\_/ | | | \_/ \_ | | \_/ |
|
|
/ |
|
|
__/ |
|
|
\|/
|
|
| /\ | | -*-
|
|
| | | | | /|\
|
|
| __ / \ | __ __ |__ __| _
|
|
| / \ |____| | / \ / \ | \ | / | |/ \
|
|
| \__ | | | |__/ \__ | | | | | | |
|
|
| \ / \ | | \ | | | | | | |
|
|
| \__/ | | |____ \__/ \__/ \__/ | \__| | |
|
|
|
|
a comedy starring Dan Spakroyd <M>
|
|
|
|
+-------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
1st March - 11th April [CINEMA 3]
|
|
|
|
##
|
|
# ###
|
|
# # ###### ### ### ## ##
|
|
## ## # # ## # # # # # ### #
|
|
### ### # # ### # ##### #### #### # # ## # #
|
|
## # ## ## # # ## # ### # # # # ## # #
|
|
## ## #### # # #### # # ### # ### ### ## # #
|
|
## ## ### # # # ######
|
|
#### # ### ### #
|
|
#### # O N E L M S T R E E T
|
|
###
|
|
####
|
|
## ##
|
|
## ##
|
|
## ##
|
|
##########
|
|
##
|
|
## <M>
|
|
|
|
+-------------------------------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
C O M I N G A T T R A C T I O N S :
|
|
|
|
SPITOON - THE RETURN <PG> ***
|
|
[Latest modern-day Western]
|
|
|
|
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER in ON HEAT <R> ****
|
|
[Touching story of a dog catcher who discovers he really
|
|
loves dogs.] (It only gets the 4 stars 'cos he'd punch our
|
|
lights out if we gave him anything less.)
|
|
|
|
COCK-TALE <M> ****
|
|
[The story of the life of a typical BBS user.]
|
|
|
|
EVIL ANGELS <X> *****
|
|
[The complete, unabridged story of the Anarchistic
|
|
Tendencies phenomenon.]
|
|
|
|
EDDIE MURPHY in COMING IN AMERICA <X> ***
|
|
[Documentary on "Where to get it" in America.]
|
|
|
|
BRUCE WILLIES in GET HARD <PG> *
|
|
["40 millimeters of sheer pleasure" runs the advertising,
|
|
though we're not sure whether this is referring to the
|
|
length of BW's organ, or the good part of this trashy
|
|
film.]
|
|
|
|
THREE MASKY'S AND A BABY <R> **
|
|
[Pedophile Productions (1988)]
|
|
|
|
WORLD PISS-UP III - ESCAPE starring ALKY MANGELS <M> *****
|
|
[Alky does it again! All recorded by a lurching, half-stoned
|
|
camera-man, Alky travels the world in search of the perfect
|
|
bar whilst seeing if ancient old pickup lines such as
|
|
"Haven't I seen you somewhere before" still work on the
|
|
girls of isolated tribes and villages.]
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
+---------------------+
|
|
This Edition's Awards
|
|
+---------------------+
|
|
|
|
Sleazy (Almost Ex) SysOp of the Month.... Craig Bowen
|
|
|
|
Bastard of the Month..................... The Masked Avenger
|
|
|
|
Drunken SysOp of the Month............... Fearless Fred
|
|
|
|
Boring Fart of the Month................. Vagabond
|
|
|
|
Hoon of the Month........................ Fearless Fred
|
|
(Minus $135)
|
|
|
|
Alleged Fraudulent Capitalist............ Ivan Trotsky
|
|
|
|
We're going on a holiday award........... Brett MacMillan
|
|
(I hear stripped suntans are in!) The Mentat
|
|
Don't forget to write guys! Blue Thunder
|
|
Conan
|
|
|
|
Whizz Fizz Junkie Award.................. Disk Destroyer
|
|
|
|
ED's Valentine Award..................... Julie Alderman
|
|
|
|
The Girl Without Guy Problems Award...... SYN ...
|
|
|
|
The Guy Without Girl Problems Award...... Radio Active
|
|
|
|
(These awards may not be related, but bet ya balls they are!)
|
|
|
|
Whatever happened to that slut? Award.... Blue Fox
|
|
(Vags:- You're going to look terrible wearing
|
|
your balls for ear rings!)
|
|
|
|
Romantic of the Month.................... Vagabond
|
|
("Sell me a computer!" In a Valentine's Day card!?)
|
|
|
|
Birthday of the month.................... Fire Fox
|
|
(Four and a quarter this month.)
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
+---------------------+
|
|
Quotes for this month
|
|
+---------------------+
|
|
|
|
Fearless Fred: "Don't be surprised if somewhere, sometime, someone
|
|
comes up to you and says 'That's a quote!'."
|
|
|
|
Disk Destroyer: "Anything but the box!"
|
|
|
|
SYN: "I'm bright red at the moment."
|
|
|
|
Infiltrator: (To Fran) "Hey, I got no nuts..."
|
|
|
|
SYN: "I don't have any."
|
|
|
|
Ivan Trotsky: "I'm going to suck your eyes out and skull-fuck you!"
|
|
|
|
SYN: "I'll get in trouble."
|
|
|
|
Vagabond: "That's a big crack!"
|
|
|
|
Fearless Fred: "I'll fill 'em!"
|
|
|
|
SYN: "That's not bad is it?"
|
|
|
|
Vagabond: "He's putting it in too!"
|
|
|
|
SYN: "I wouldn't put Julie's in, take Julie's out!"
|
|
|
|
Fearless Fred: "I wont put it in."
|
|
|
|
Killer Tomato: "I'll play around and see what I can do."
|
|
|
|
SYN: "I've put my foot in it..."
|
|
|
|
SYN: "You wont get it out of me..."
|
|
|
|
SYN: "What are you trying to do to me?"
|
|
|
|
Thelonius Monk: "I don't want any premature interjections."
|
|
|
|
SYN: "Oh don't, please."
|
|
|
|
SYN: "You do very well at that!"
|
|
|
|
Thelonius Monk: "Hey, my horn works!"
|
|
|
|
The Lensman: "Did you hear him go 'oooooohhhhhh!'?"
|
|
|
|
Vagabond: "I think that deserves a head job."
|
|
|
|
Masky: "I haven't had any in a long time."
|
|
|
|
Killer Tomato: "... if you do you'll clean it up..."
|
|
|
|
Ivan Trotsky: "... but I'm all soggy!"
|
|
|
|
Fearless Fred: "I'm having a wonderful time."
|
|
|
|
Julie Alderman: "If you're a guy no, if you're a female
|
|
then why not."
|
|
|
|
Fire Fox: "(Sparks) shaved his mustache off, and I didn't
|
|
even notice until he told me."
|
|
|
|
Vagabond: "Who's on the short list... Disk Destroyer?"
|
|
|
|
Disk Destroyer: "I feel like a hero!"
|
|
|
|
Fire Fox: "It's OK to shop, but you'll get slapped if you
|
|
squeeze the merchandise."
|
|
|
|
The Worm: "Don't look at me like that (Sparks), you know
|
|
how it gets me all horny."
|
|
|
|
Fearless Fred: "What do you do with your dick D.D.?"
|
|
|
|
Disk Destroyer: "Hang on!"
|
|
|
|
Vagabond: "I've been hanging awound Larnth too muth."
|
|
|
|
Killer Tomato: (Greeting Disk Destroyer) "Hello Shorty!"
|
|
|
|
Fearless Fred: "Vags, what do you do ... After Dark?
|
|
|
|
Vagabond: "... nip off to the dunny every couple of minutes
|
|
for a few shakes..."
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
+---------------------------+
|
|
The Anarchistic Classifieds
|
|
+---------------------------+
|
|
|
|
+-------------------------+ +----------------------------+
|
|
| | | |
|
|
| FOR SALE BY PUB(L)IC | | SAVE THIS COUPON! |
|
|
| AUCTION | | It will give you 10 FREE |
|
|
| | | "TICKLING TREATS" |
|
|
| One abandoned boudoir. | | with every cheap slut |
|
|
| | | EXPLOITED |
|
|
| - built underground | | at |
|
|
| for low heating | | ROYNA'S DEN OF INIQUITY. |
|
|
| costs. | | (phone [[[-[[[[, anytime |
|
|
| | | and ask for HORNY.) |
|
|
| - Every door knob | | Try our new |
|
|
| guaranteed to be | | ORGY OF THE SEVEN WHIPS, |
|
|
| self-lubricating. | | and other |
|
|
| | | GENITAL JOYS. |
|
|
| - All-night chemist | | PORN PORN PORN PORN PORN |
|
|
| in the next street. | | Non-stop around the |
|
|
| | | c(l)ock! |
|
|
| For more information | | DON'T WAIT! |
|
|
| call the Twilight Zone | | Life Insurance Compulsory. |
|
|
| (562-0686) | +----------------------------+
|
|
| or Zen BBS (899-6180) |
|
|
| and leave a message | +----------------------------+
|
|
| to SYN ... | | |
|
|
| | | LOST: |
|
|
+-------------------------+ | One virginity. |
|
|
| Sort of pink and tissuey. |
|
|
+-------------------------+ | Lost in the vicinity |
|
|
| | | of Thelonius Monk's house.|
|
|
| WANTED: | | - Reward to whoever can |
|
|
| One road construction | | return it. It's really |
|
|
| crew to lay new 6-lane | | important, my parents |
|
|
| freeway over existing | | will kill me if they |
|
|
| hemorrhoids. | | ever find out it's |
|
|
| Contact Taxi Cab on | | missing! |
|
|
| any BBS. | | Leave a public message |
|
|
| | | on Zen and I will get in |
|
|
+-------------------------+ | touch with you - ANON!? |
|
|
| |
|
|
+----------------------------+
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
+---------------------+
|
|
E V I L A N G E L S
|
|
+---------------------+
|
|
|
|
At present the Evil Angels team consists of the following:
|
|
|
|
FOUNDER: The Masked Avenger.
|
|
|
|
EDITOR: Lightning Bolt (AKA Fearless Fred).
|
|
|
|
AUTHORS: Fearless Fred.
|
|
Ford Prefect.
|
|
|
|
ARTIST: Ford Prefect.
|
|
|
|
PROGRAMMER: Vagabond.
|
|
(BSF Boys)
|
|
|
|
OTHER MEMBERS: Thelonius Monk
|
|
The Lensman
|
|
Lounge Lizzard
|
|
Death Man
|
|
Nixx
|
|
SYN ... (We're VERY sexist! She's VERY sexy!)
|
|
Disk Destroyer (Da Plane! Da Plane!)
|
|
Ivan Trotsky
|
|
Sprite
|
|
|
|
FAVORITE PEOPLE: Taxi Cab Blue Fox
|
|
(TO HASSLE) Captain Chaos Simply Sparks
|
|
Fire Fox Vagabond
|
|
Raster Blaster SYN ...
|
|
Disk Destroyer Ice Man (and Robbie)
|
|
Royna Masked Avenger
|
|
Julie Alderman Killer Tomato (Hi Stu!)
|
|
|
|
YOU TOO can help rid the world of nerds- By purchasing any of
|
|
the following quality official Evil Angels Products:
|
|
|
|
"I hate the Masked Avenger" Badges $3.00
|
|
|
|
Evil Angels Badges... $3.00
|
|
|
|
Bi Bi P.I. Video... $25.00
|
|
|
|
Evil Angels Windcheaters... $25.00
|
|
|
|
All sizes, all colours, design is:
|
|
|
|
_______ _______
|
|
/ \______/ \
|
|
/ \ /|
|
|
/___/| Evil Angels |\___\ / |-------- NOW
|
|
| ______ | \ |-------- AVAILABLE!
|
|
| / E.A. \ | \|
|
|
| | Logo | |
|
|
| \______/ |
|
|
| Ridding the |
|
|
| world of nerds!|
|
|
|________________|
|
|
|
|
Printed versions of Anarchistic Tendencies Parts 1 - 10: $20.00
|
|
|
|
Remember... donations to Evil Angels are NOT tax deductible,
|
|
but WILL help rid the world of nerds! All money
|
|
raised will be used to throw a big party at the
|
|
end of the year.
|
|
|
|
+-----------------------------------+
|
|
| Donations & Payments can be sent: |
|
|
| |
|
|
| TO: Fred or Masky, |
|
|
| P.O. Box 528, |
|
|
| Mulgrave North, 3170 |
|
|
| Make cheques payable to CASH! |
|
|
+-----------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
+------------------------------+
|
|
Thanks to the Following People
|
|
+------------------------------+
|
|
|
|
Stuart Gill: Thanks for editing the video.
|
|
|
|
SYN ...: Thanks for all those great quotes!
|
|
("Everything about her is great!" - Vags)
|
|
|
|
Bos Dos: Thanks for having a holiday.
|
|
|
|
Alan Bond: FOSTERS!
|
|
After Dark - Tuesday, SKY channel.
|
|
|
|
Julie Alderman: Oh, what great TITS!
|
|
|
|
Erika: Great Party! Great Massage! Great ....!
|
|
|
|
Thelma & Ruby: What a great couple! Thanks for nothing.
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Anarchistic Tendencies X
|
|
(C) February 1989
|
|
YOU HAVE NO GODDAMNMUTHAFUCKING RIGHTS!
|
|
|
|
(Does anyone still read this unchanging drivel we put at the
|
|
end of each file?)
|
|
|
|
***************************************
|
|
* NO PART OF THIS FILE MAY BE *
|
|
* PUBLISHED IN MASS MEDIA WITHOUT *
|
|
* THE AUTHORS' WRITTEN PERMISSION *
|
|
* AND HALF THE AUTHORS DON'T KNOW *
|
|
* HOW TO WRITE. THE OTHER HALF ARE *
|
|
* USUALLY DRUNK! *
|
|
* *
|
|
* - That's a god-damned warning - *
|
|
* *
|
|
***************************************
|
|
|
|
::: YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL :::
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
+---------------------+
|
|
DISCLAIMER/DATCLAIMER
|
|
+---------------------+
|
|
The authors have gone to a hell of a lot of trouble to ensure that
|
|
this file contains no offensive material. However, should you find
|
|
anything which you object to, STIFF SHIT! You can't sue us! This
|
|
file is written with the intent of producing a humorous file which
|
|
will be enjoyed by everyone, and no offense is intended towards any
|
|
person or persons no matter how often or in what context they are
|
|
mentioned.
|
|
|
|
Does any of this file mean I get twit access on TZ, Fred?
|
|
|
|
[No, there's one priv level lower than twit... T.C. access - Ed]
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Evil Angels Will Return With Anarchistic Tendencies XI
|
|
------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
"The Evil Angels' Unedited Fairy Tales."
|
|
|
|
A Tribute to Walt Disney, in true Evil Angels fashion.
|
|
|
|
- SYNderella.
|
|
- Snow White and the seven dwarves.
|
|
- And Much Much More....
|
|
|
|
|