398 lines
22 KiB
Plaintext
398 lines
22 KiB
Plaintext
______________________
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| ANUS \______________________________________________________
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| H O U S T O N B L I N K I E L E T T E R -- N O V E M B E R 1 9 8 9 |
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| Issue Two Number Two |
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| [ American Nihilist Underground Society ] |
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| "If it's not nailed down...it's free." |
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|_____________________________________________________________________________|
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Lifting Tips and Techniques
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---------------------------
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One technique that Cd has used effectively when acquiring new and
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interesting merchandise takes advantage of the courtesy of certain large
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department stores. These stores will usually have a bag vending machine near
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the entrance to the store that dispenses large paper bags with the stores' name
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on them for quarters. Department stores intend for their patrons to buy these
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bags to help them carry the abundance of merchandise they foolishly bought at
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the store. An experienced shoplifter can easily use these bags to his
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advantage.
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The easy way to take advantage of these conveniences is to walk into
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the mall wearing a sweater or jacket you don't need to wear of fairly expensive
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manufacture and buy a bag. Take off the extraneous clothing and dump it into
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the bag. Carry the bag normally, as if you had just bought the item at
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whichever store sold the bag.
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When you walk into any other store, they will notice the bag and figure
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you have just come from the store that sold it. Quietly fill up your bag with
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all sorts of new and interesting goodies, and then dump it all in your car.
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With several friends, successful use of this method can easily net a thousand
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dollars worth of merchandise.
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Of course, the ultimate challenge using this method is to get something
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like an Apple //c or Commodore 64C from a mall computer store, but this would
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require planning and security system scouting until nausea occurrs. However, it
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would probably be worth it for bragging rights, and besides, who could turn down
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a free Commodore?
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More ComputerCraft tips for Apple owners
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----------------------------------------
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ComputerCraft has always tried to please Apple computer and rip off the
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customers at the same time, so they usually follow Apple policy. Since Apple's
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current idea of a good way to run a business is to push the Macintosh and
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de-emphasize the II line to a great degree. As a result, ComputerCraft displays
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the Macintoshes closer to the center of their stores, and keep the //e's, //c
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Pluses and IIgs's on the fringes of their display islands. Since ComputerCraft
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is too cheap to buy security cameras, there is ample opportunity for an average
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Apple owner to pick up a disk drive or two.
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This method requires that you actually buy one of ComputerCraft's
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overpriced MousePads or a box of disks. Since both give you roughly the same
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size bag, it doesn't really matter which you pick, so get whatever you need or
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whatever is cheaper. Quietly slide up to the purchase counter and buy some
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"Mac" disks. They'll figure you're another computer-illiterate Macintosh
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person, and will either try to charge you $200 for the disks or just smile and
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laugh inwardly at the poor shmuck paying twice what he should be for ten
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one-megabyte disks.
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Go over to the IIgs, //e or //c Plus with a big goofy smile on your
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face and start playing with it. Draw programs are the best, since you can draw
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something incredibly stupid, like a big blue smiley face, and salespeople will
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smile and ignore you. Sometime as you are playing with the machine, look it
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over carefully, concentrating especially on the back. Find the connector for
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the disk drive, modem or joystick that you want.
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Most of Apple's equipment is fastened to the back of the computer with
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a connector and "pseudo-screws": plastic-handled screws implanted firmly into
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the connect head. Twist these clockwise until about a centimeter of screw shaft
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is showing coming out of the connector head, away from the computer. Do not
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actually remove the cable, but make sure it will come freely. Other devices
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have real screws held onto the connector with metal restrictors; if you know
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you are going for one of these (example: a joystick) have your Swiss Army knife
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ready with the flathead screwdriver blade out. You will have to practice
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beforehand to unscrew your object without alerting the ComputerCraft people to
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the fact that you're about to lift something. Modem connectors are either
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screw-ins into a serial port or Mini-8 connectors. These can be yanked out at
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the modem end, since the cable isn't too important, but if the computer in the
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display matches your computer at home it might be worth it.
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Finally, become bored or exhausted with one of Apple's "powerful"
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machines, and switch it off. As you get up, dump the contents of your bag
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(disks, receipt) onto the display desk. Shovel everything back in, covertly
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yanking out the desired peripheral and sliding it into your bag as well as the
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stuff you actually bought. Inconspicuously make your exit, and go home to enjoy
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a new life with another peripheral device for your Apple.
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Since most ANUS members are Apple II people, this is what we commonly
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go for, but keep in mind that an Apple II 3.5" drive will also work on a
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Macintosh, and the same applies to modems and hard drives. As Apple continues
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to try and kill the Apple II line, the more ComputerCraft and other mindless
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retailers shove these machines into corners and forget about them, which makes
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it easy for someone with nimble fingers to liberate disk drives, modems,
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joysticks, small hard drives and even cards from their resting places.
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However, any of this equipment is valuable to anyone, since even a Commodore
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person could sell any of it for a substantial profit. Apple's 3.5" drives
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retail at $330, Apple 1200 modems at $275 and hard drives at about $700 and up.
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As a result, you can easily sell a 3.5" for $160, or an Apple 1200 for $100.
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This leaves you a handy profit, since you only put in about $20 for a box of
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disks, and came out with at least ten times that amount in stolen merchandise.
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Another fun thing to do at ComputerCraft is to walk in with baggy
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pants, play with a Macintosh and walk out with the mouse. Apple's mice are
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mass produced for something like $1.50 each, and as a result are prone to
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failure, especially if kept in dirty or humid environments. Naturally, many
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people find their mice smoked after half a year's wear, and need another. So,
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a mouse can fetch $30-40 depending on who you sell it to.
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As mentioned before, ComputerCraft is a great place to get demo disks
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to reformat for your own use, but they also have potential as a source of free
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software. With a good knife, someone with quick fingers can casually walk down
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the Apple IIgs software aisle, slash open a package and slip out the disks
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inside. If this person is wearing baggy or loose pants, he can easily walk out
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of the store with several new programs.
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Keep in mind that ComputerCraft employees sometimes get tired of
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ripping off unsuspecting customers, and play with the machines on the floor.
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This explains why there are often game disks or program disks lying around the
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computers. These disks can be gathered up with a couple quick hand movements
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and probably won't be missed. I've encountered several AppleWorks GS disks in
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ComputerCraft IIgs's, as well as a few games and several thousand worthless
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demos.
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Another Simple Scam
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-------------------
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If you attend an average American high school, there are incredible
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financial opportunities open to you based upon two fundamental human faults:
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the ability to be distracted and basic vicarious lust. Your average high
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school student can be bribed or coerced into paying for any of the various
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"soft-porn" magazines availible in most bookstores and some convenience stores.
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Walk in some Saturday morning wearing jeans and a T-shirt, and walk around the
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store. Check for security cameras and count personnel. Also, beware of mirrors
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centered around the magazine rack. Usually, these mirrors can be re-directed
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with a blow from your palm when no one is watching.
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Generally, the soft porn magazines can be found at one of the corners
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of the uppermost row of magazines, and are wrapped in blacked-out plastic. When
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salespeople are not staring in your general direction, grab all but one of each
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brand of magazine and stuff them in your backpack, which is conveniently
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unzipped at the top, but has been held closed until now. When you've loaded up,
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zip up and leave quietly, purchasing a candy bar on the way out to keep the
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salespeople thinking you're "just another kid."
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Take your booty to school and sell it to horny freshman, friends, etc.
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for at least $2 above the sticker price. Usually, this will come out to be
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about $6-7 a magazine. Steal ten of these and you've made a handy profit. If
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you do this consistently, and hit a wide variety of stores so no one becomes
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accustomed to your presence and then the lack of smut lying around, you will
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find you can almost count on certain people to buy each month's issue. And, if
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word spreads, enough people will come to you to put your profit into the hundreds
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easily. It's a good idea to go into this scheme with at least one more person,
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to take off some of the work load and serve as lookout.
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Blinkie Probabilities -- Houston, Texas: November 1989
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Yellow blinkies, especially those marked with the "COH-PW" (coh-poo) insignia
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are most prone to have the "figure-eight" type bolt, consisting of a round bolt
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with notches on two opposing sides.
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Red and blue blinkies are most prone to have the regular octagonal bolt, and
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are being re-distributed from several major construction sites. Blues are
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disappearing, it seems that red blinkies are now the standard.
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"Flasher Flare" blinkies are appearing at alarming amounts. These things are
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possibly part of Houston's new, lowered budget plan, since they are too cheap to
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cost much at all.
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Blinkie Toolkit
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Take a good backpack, large but not conspicuously so, and throw in the
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following items:
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1 Socket Wrench, 19 mm or 3/4 inch cup
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1 pair of needlenose pliers Duct tape and scissors
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5 Large paperclips, straightened
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This contains the tools that will help you remove the three most common
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bolt types in Houston. The first two are octagonal bolts, sometime bare and
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sometimes shielded with a metal cup. The third type, a double-notched bolt,
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can be removed with the needlenose pliers. The other types of bolts have not
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been thoroughly examined yet, but it looks like "make your own tool" time. So
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far, using epoxy molds has been suggested, but these do not attach well to most
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other tools, and are thus worthless. New techniques we're working on include
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making notch-bolt tools from wood and small bolts, and using forks to liberate
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blinkies. The duct tape comes in handy when you cannot use the straightened
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paperclips to turn off the blinkie, and don't want to cart around blinking
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objects. An item that might have been included above is a pack of cigarettes
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to provide alibi, but not everyone uses this diversion.
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Blinkie benchmark
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-----------------
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This last weekend ANUS members stole enough blinkies to reach the 150
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blinkie point and surge beyond. This has been for five months of intermittent
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thieving, and we're surprised we've actually heisted this many. Contrary to popular
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belief, ANUS members do not live to steal blinkies, and as a result dedicate
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less than half of our weekends to actually getting the little blinkers. Often,
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we are in a state of TITS, or "Too Intoxicated To Steal," and can't manage to
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pilfer anything. Or, we're off doing many of the other subversive activities
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we delight in.
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However, this benchmark heralds the second stage of Houston's blinkie
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runners: the drought. Right now, ANUS members and friends have lifted
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approximately 200+ blinkies. The City of Houston has not failed to notice, and
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the game is getting rougher. Several months ago, almost all of Houston's
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blinkies were good-quality blinkies secured with a shielded octagonal bolt.
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Today, less than half are. Houston is responding to us with new tactics and new
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blinkies. Their main defenses are cheaper blinkies such as the flasher flare,
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or newer bolts like the infamous "half-moon" variety, and use of older but still
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proven deterrent designs such as the notched bolt. Blinkie running will not get
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easier, but ANUS is ready to meet the challenge. With new members coming in and
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training sessions being held about once a month, we expect not only a whole new
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crop of blinkie runners but also increased proficiency on the average level.
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This, combined with newfound financial resources gained from unwitting donations
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by local merchants has increased our prospects in the future.
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In the meantime, HBL's distribution is increasing. Locally it is
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distributed on only one board for now, but all indicators point to new
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distributions sights in the next month.
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Grey Blinkies
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This last weekend, two ANUS members went after the coveted grey blinkies
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and discovered much about these vaunted objects. The most surprising discovery
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was the construction. These blinkies use a regular black blinkie base and are
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covered with a heavy duty case of grey plastic. As a result, they are bigger
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than the usual blinkies and are used in areas that need durability in blinkies.
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We found two or three on a local freeway, but they were mounted close to
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thirteen feet above the ground. As a result, we could not liberate them at
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the time, but results from our Research and Development department precipitate
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a successful capture in future blinkie runs.
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Sysop-User Contract
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-------------------
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[ The idea behind this is that if everyone puts this thing on their system,
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and all users and sysops obey it, we'll at least have some form of standard for
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fair sysop-user interaction on boards, and both sysops and users will have some
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rights. This is especially needed in Houston, where a generally accepted
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synonym for sysop is "fascist pig." ]
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All new users on this system are to read the following document carefully
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and take special note of the clause following this document.
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As a user of this remote system, I agree that I will not pass on any
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information about this system, its users or its sysops. I agree that I will not
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report anything about this system, including its existence, to any law
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enforcement agencies, journalistic agencies, software publishers or
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telecommunications companies. I agree that I will not take any legal action
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pertaining to anything found on this system, the sysops or the users. I agree
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to abide by all of the rules of this remote system. I agree that the sysop has
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the right to sue me for breach of contract if I violate any of the above
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agreements.
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As sysops of this remote system, we, the sysops, agree that we will not pass
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on any information about any of the users on this system in any form, including
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blacklists and sysop letters. We agree that if a user requests deletion he will
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be quickly and permanently deleted from the user list, and no retribution will
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occur and no information about the user will be passed on to others. We agree
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that we will not discriminate on the basis of color, creed or political
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orientation. We agree to support the basic rights of freedom of speech and
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freedom of religion on our remote system.
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[ Insert system rules here. ]
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By logging on to this system, the user agrees to abide by the agreements and
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rules listed above, and the sysops agree to abide by the agreements listed
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above. If the user cannot abide by these rules and agreements, he/she must
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log off now.
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Hit L to Logoff, Anything Else to Continue.
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The ANUS Mailbox
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----------------
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[ Recently, our correspondence with Apple was answered in an unprecedented
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way by CEO John Sculley, who assured us that Apple has no intention of dropping
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the Apple II line, and that the latest model proves that. We've all read it,
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and it looks on the level to us! ]
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Dear Captain Crapp,
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I received your letter with much surprise. Of course Apple would do
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nothing to try and cut off the Apple II line of computers even though we do make
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about 500% profit from the Macintosh versus 421% from the Apple IIgs and IIc
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Plus. We are even developing new Apple II products such as the new II+ Plus,
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the statistics of which are below.
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Apple II+ Plus:
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o RGB color graphics, 48x48, 16 colors, 192x188, 7 colors and new improved
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48x48 32 colors with speedy AppleSprite shape tables!
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o 3.14 MHz clock speed. Runs II+ programs over three times faster!
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o New lowercase function! Has a "SHIFT" key, an ingenious device developed
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in the Macintosh research department.
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o Built in 8" disk drive with 2100 ms access time.
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o Has option for joystick port.
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This incredible machine was developed by the four remaining Apple II
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engineers at Apple: Murf Zenkov, Joseph Blowvitch and Charles Manson. Due to
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the incredible cost of all 18 chips on the motherboard and the high-quality
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Seagate 8" Frisbee Floppy Disk Drive, the cost of this machine is set at
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$6200.00, but we expect it to drop by Christmas. Of course, the high-quality
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AppleColor RGB Monitor will cost an extra $500, as will another 8" FFD, but
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this, too, will drop over time. This incredible machine is bundled with the
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following software and literature:
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Dos 3.2.2 - the incredible operating system for 8" floppies
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AppleWriter II+ - a word processing program that prints, too!
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Disk Drive Option - use renowned high-quality Commodore 1541 disk drives on
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your II++
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Quarks - a full color video game for the II++ only! Beats anything Amiga,
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Atari or IBM ever had.
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Graphical interface software - allows you to eject disks with your mouse.
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Apple stickers - we stick them on stuff made by other people, so why can't you?
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Lifetime Subscription to all four Apple II magazines - two are defunct and the
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remaining two have merged, but are currently filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy!
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Catch all the details in the next issue!
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"I'd rather be driving a Macintosh" sticker - just to remind you that only
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MORONS buy Apple II's! I've worked all my LIFE just to make our new II models
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as lame and overpriced as possible!
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Fondly,
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John Sculley, CEO
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Apple Computer Corp.
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The Law From Hell Has Arrived
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Texas is now the only state in the United States that has a law
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enabling pigs to search your car and trunk without a warrant if they suspect
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you are doing something illegal. This means, of course, that chances are your
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average person out late at night will be stopped, and probably searched if he is
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under about 25. This is the way our valiant pigs operate.
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There are only two known defenses against this unconstitutional
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apparition from hell. One, the obvious, is to hide whatever it is that needs
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hiding carefully, as in the spare tire or in a hidden well around the back seat.
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The second defense is to hurl whatever illegal items you are in possession of
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out the window, and accept the littering rap instead of the MIP, felony or
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possession conviction. Of course, this latter method should only be used when
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it's very probable that the officer will search the car and find whatever it is
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that needs hiding. Finding out when this is probable can be hard, but if it's
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as obvious as being stopped for reckless driving with a bottle of JD in the car,
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I'd take the littering rap.
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As far as blinkie running goes, bring a large duffel bag and a separate
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smaller bag full of miscellaneous clothes. Stuff all your blinkies in the
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duffel and throw the clothes on top of them. It helps to bring a bedroll to
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corroborate your story that you are "just spending the night at Joe's house."
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Your average pig will simply snort, nod and let you go. If your car smells like
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smoke or if your breath smells like anything remotely related to alcohol, you
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could be going downtown, but if there's anal cause, there will probably be no
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more than a cursory search of your car by the pig you happen to run into.
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This is another one of the factors that is going to make blinkie
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running more complicated and dangerous in the future. Hopefully, we can
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continue outwitting the pigs successfully and "bring home the blinkies" time and
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time again.
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Heads Up
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--------
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Next issue will cover a wide variety of topics, including some new works
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on shoplifting and a machine code tutorial for beginning Apple crackers. We'll
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also report the latest on blinkie running and the official ANUS blinkie theft
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count. And, we'll probably have some detailed information on police and private
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security systems, where they're in use and how to defeat them. Until then, grab
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a backpack and head for the nearest construction site and get yourself a blinkie
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or several.
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%-----------------------------------------------------------------------------%
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| American Nihilist Underground Society |
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| November 13, 1989 |
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| Chromatic Death/Captain Crapp/Royal Flush/Maximum Overdrive |
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%-----------------------------------------------------------------------------%
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