83 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
83 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
The Complete Rooftop File
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an ANUS production
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In our many dealings with Houston's sysops in the past,
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we have rarely encountered individuals as paranoid and as
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hypocritical as those indigenous to the haven for those
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ubiquitous and aggravating users who are either supercilious
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or unintelligent to an exceedingly irritating degree, the
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Rooftop Hide-Away.
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The Rooftop Hide-Away is a bulletin board system run
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for those with a Mack truck perenially up their asses
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sideways. Its basic tenets are a standard, boring but
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grammatically correct message base, hundreds of users who
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call once a month, skip the quickscan and log off, with a
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few fools who call up often and post strings of meaningless
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meandering messages. Basically, it's a magnet for people we
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want off of any other board, especially if it represents at
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least one intelligent person.
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When Royal Flush and I started TURD, we posted the
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number on a few local boards, including the Rooftop.
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Naturally, we kept the message on Rooftop pretty clean,
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although it was of dubious intelligence to call in the first
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place. Anyway, about thirty minutes later, the Raven went
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on the warpath and deleted the message. We left a note
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saying we abhorred the censorship but didn't really care and
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would let the ruling stand, and posted a new, cleaned-up
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version of the message.
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Steve Ragsdale had a cow overnight, and called up
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Flush's parents. The story he told them was, for the most
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part, and outright fabrication. He made allegations that he
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could not prove, and capitalized on the fact that Flush's
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parents are totally ignorant of computers in general.
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Needless to say, they panicked, and had Flush move the
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board. And so, to protect the board, we simply moved it to
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another location and forwarded the number. Ragsdale
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couldn't hack this either, so he freaked out and called
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again, finally, to try and put to rest the last bastion of
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free speech in Houston. We moved TURD again, this time to
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yet another location and a new number. Steve still couldn't
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take it, and finally got my number off of a two-year-old
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userlist on his board and called up my parents. He pulled
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the same trick as he did last time, and they birthed
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multiple cows. This time, Steve-0 was threatening empty
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legal action from a month-old joke in one of our log ons
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promising a bag of jellybeans to anyone pulling anything on
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Steve-0 or his co-sysop from the Montrose, Dan Perez, aka
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The Raven. Of course, Steve has kept me down, as you can
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see.
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At this point, I'd like to extend an open invitation to
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him to moisten my penis with his holy saliva, and give it a
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good suck. Since his board sucks, I figure he probably
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knows his way around that sort of thing better than I do.
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At this time, Steve is guilty of laughably blatant
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hypocrisy. The word he objected to, TURD, was posted later
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close to four times in his logon message, describing how he
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thought we were munchies and how superior Rooftop
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intelligence and maturity would keep their board happily
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munching away into the 25th century.
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We at ANUS really don't care about Steve-0, but since
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he's decided to play "tough guy" and call our parents
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without even notifying us that there was a problem, an
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undoubtedly pusillanimous action in any circumstance, and
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since he obviously can't bear the thought of talking to us
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directly like a mature individual, we figure that maybe you,
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the reader of this text file, would like to get in touch
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with Steve. Here's his address for some fun -
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Steve-0 Ragsdale
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646 Overbluff
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Channelview, Texas 77530
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(713) 452-4939
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Captain Crapp
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ANUS
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09/04/89
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