151 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
151 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
IRC HOWTO
|
|
Wyzewun <wyze1@xtc.za.org>
|
|
v0.1, 2nd April 1999
|
|
|
|
HOWTO look cool on IRC, Idle for Long Periods of Time, And be hip in general
|
|
_______________________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
Table of Contents
|
|
|
|
1. Getting Started
|
|
|
|
1.1 Choosing a Cool Handle
|
|
1.2 Installing Screen
|
|
|
|
2. Tips for Successful IRC'ing
|
|
|
|
2.1 Hints on Setting yourself Away
|
|
2.2 What to do once you have Ops
|
|
|
|
3. Conclusion
|
|
|
|
3.1 Greets and Shout-Outs
|
|
3.2 Parting Words
|
|
|
|
_______________________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
1. Getting Started
|
|
|
|
|
|
1.1 Choosing a Cool Handle
|
|
|
|
It is common knowledge that people hardly, if ever, actually talk on IRC.
|
|
For this Reason It is vital that your handle be reason enough for you to
|
|
be considered interesting and intelligent, regardless of the fact that
|
|
you have not said a word, and are probably too dumb to figure out which
|
|
keys to press to say something anyway.
|
|
|
|
Our amazing intellectual ability can be expressed by giving ourselves a
|
|
handle which contains a combination of Latin and Computer Terminology.
|
|
For Example, we choose Magus, because it sounds Latin, and then combine
|
|
it with Cyber, forming CyberMagus, something which would without the
|
|
shadow of a doubt cause you to be considered cool.
|
|
|
|
Other possibilities are any combinations involving Acid, Dark, Night,
|
|
Hex or Root. You will instantly be accepted on any Network.
|
|
|
|
|
|
1.2 Installing Screen
|
|
|
|
Many newcomers to IRC think that it is a good idea to install screen so
|
|
that they can recover IRC sessions from the background and detach them
|
|
again when they are finished. This is in fact not at all worthwhile.
|
|
|
|
Assuming that we want to recover our past IRC sessions would imply that
|
|
we want to say something, or communicate in some way, which would make us
|
|
instantly un-cool. What we should do is run our client as a background
|
|
process, and specify that it must automatically join a channel on the
|
|
command-line.
|
|
|
|
This way we do not have to worry about learning how to use screen, or
|
|
having to run the risk of having the urge to actually SAY something in
|
|
our IRC Window, which may actually reveal the fact that we are a babbling
|
|
five year old of no substantial knowledge what-so-ever. All in all, a much
|
|
less risky option.
|
|
|
|
_______________________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
2. Tips for Successful IRC'ing
|
|
|
|
|
|
2.1 Setting yourself as Away
|
|
|
|
Many people think that they can achieve the state of supreme eliteness by
|
|
simply setting themselves as away. This is one of the great misconceptions
|
|
amongst those still new to the IRC Scene.
|
|
|
|
We can only be cool if we have a client that loudly announces that we are
|
|
away, as well as the name of the client we are using. However, another
|
|
potential problem comes to mind here, in that we must be sure to be using a
|
|
cool client. So What defines a cool client?
|
|
|
|
Well, in the opinion of most of the Linux gurus out there, the Name of the
|
|
Client must contain at least one swearword, and have a cool abbreviation.
|
|
Thus BitchX is the perfect client, and having 5000 backdoors in it, you
|
|
will become even cooler and be admired by thousands around the globe. Be
|
|
Sure to set yourself away as often as possible, and if at all possible,
|
|
make it look like you're actually DOING something constructive. An
|
|
example follows...
|
|
|
|
* Ascii_Kewil is Away (Checking Something [BX MsgLog ON])
|
|
<Ascii_Kewil> hmmmm
|
|
* Ascii_Kewil is Back from the Dead - Gone 0 Minutes, 15 Seconds
|
|
<Ascii_Kewil> Stupid Kernel doesnt support vfat
|
|
* Ascii_Kewil is Away (Recompiling [BX MsgLog ON])
|
|
|
|
After which you can continue your usual schedule of downloading vast
|
|
amounts of pornography, and doing all that stuff that people really use
|
|
the Internet for, such as finding out the time in Mexico having netsex
|
|
with five-year-old boys who claim to be Neve Campbell.
|
|
|
|
|
|
2.2 What to do Once you Have Ops
|
|
|
|
Once you have Idled for a few weeks, you will be given Operator Status,
|
|
and after idling for another two weeks or so, you may begin to use this
|
|
privalege. Contrary to popular belief, the point of Operator Status is
|
|
not to help run a channel, but to kick and ban anyone you can, for any
|
|
reason you can think of. Use of it for any other purpose will instantly
|
|
show your lack of coolness and you will be exposed as a Cluesless Gimp, or
|
|
some-one who hasn't read the IRC-HOWTO now included with all major Linux
|
|
Distributions. (Or at least the Cool Ones)
|
|
|
|
Because you are breaking your idling by kicking somebody, you must make
|
|
sure that you sound as intelligent as possible, while still maintaining
|
|
your big-bad image and not letting anyone know that you are a loser
|
|
twelve-year old who hangs in #linux all day for lack of anything better
|
|
to do with himself. This can be achieved by making your kick message as
|
|
pointless as possible, you see, by not attempting to make our reasoning
|
|
sound at all logical, it will not be questioned, and we will remain
|
|
the coolest person on IRC.
|
|
|
|
Fortunately, BitchX already has random kick messages, making it easier for
|
|
anyone to greatly decrease their risks of looking un-cool, or commiting
|
|
spelling errors in their kick messages. The Linux community really think
|
|
of everything, Don't they? Thankyou Panasync!
|
|
|
|
_______________________________________________________________________________
|
|
|
|
|
|
3. Conclusion
|
|
|
|
|
|
3.1 Greets and Shout-Outs
|
|
|
|
Thanks to Carolyn Meinel for her Amazingly intelligent textfiles, really,
|
|
she must have spent A LOT of time idling on IRC to get THAT smart. I
|
|
respect her greatly. Honest.
|
|
|
|
Thanks to Linus Torvalds for making Linux, and for drinking every six-pack
|
|
of beer that LUG's around the world give him, regardless of what it does to
|
|
his ever -erm- improving figure. I wonder if the beer relates in any way to
|
|
the Kernel problems I've been having... Hmmmm.
|
|
|
|
|
|
3.2 Parting Words
|
|
|
|
I will be continuing maintenance of this HOWTO, and hopefully we will see
|
|
it in some Major Linux Distributions in the near future. Any ideas for
|
|
future development are welcome to be mailed to me at wyze1@xtc.za.org |