textfiles/humor/strsdiet.txt
2021-04-15 13:31:59 -05:00

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STRESS DIET
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Author unknown
BREAKFAST
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1/2 Grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk
LUNCH
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2 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed zucchini
1 Oreo cookie
Herb Tea
MID-AFTERNOON SNACK
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Rest of the package of Oreos
1 quart Rocky Road Ice Cream
1 jar hot fudge
Dinner
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2 loaves garlic bread
Large pepperoni and mushroom pizza
Large pitcher of Beer
3 Milky Way candybars
Entire Frozen Cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer
DIET TIPS
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1. If no one sees you eat it - it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar they cancel each
other out.
3. When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you
both eat the same amount.
4. Food for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as: Hot
chocolate, Brandy, Toast, and Sara Lee cheese cake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you - then you look
thinner.
6. Movie related foods don't count because they are simply part of
the entire entertainment experience and not a part of one's
personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, Popcorn with butter, Junior
Mints, and Red Licorice.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breakage
causes caloric leakage.