235 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
235 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
_____________________________________________________________________________
|
|
| |
|
|
| Smurf Squishers Handbook |
|
|
| Volume III |
|
|
| |
|
|
| Brought to you by: |
|
|
| The Smurf Butcher Bobs |
|
|
| |
|
|
| Written By: The Gerble |
|
|
| On: 08/28/86 |
|
|
| |
|
|
| Call this board |
|
|
| The Electric Warehouse IV.....................714-775-2560 |
|
|
| |
|
|
| Watch for new volumes coming to a bbs near you!! |
|
|
| |
|
|
|___________________________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You can kill smurfs in many ways, like using a gun, but as I said in the
|
|
previous file, but it would be useless. So I have complied yet another list of
|
|
smurf traps to use on the smurfs. If you don't have a smurf license then print
|
|
out the new one at the end of this file. If you already have the one from
|
|
Volume
|
|
I then you must print out this new one. The smurf wardens now know what a fake
|
|
one looks like. The new one is as close as possible to a real one and most
|
|
wardens will never know the difference.
|
|
|
|
Here are some of my newer traps for the use of catching smurfs. I also
|
|
have
|
|
a good suggestion for you to try, if you have a good cat which brings home all
|
|
of it catchings then just show your cat some smurfs and leave the cat alone to
|
|
have some fun. Then the next morning you will wake up to find many smurfs at
|
|
your doorstep. But there is one drawback, the cat may ruin the smurf and cause
|
|
it to be useless for any purpose.
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
New and improved Smurf Butcher Traps
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
A Hot Time In The Old Camp Tonight
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
*****
|
|
=============================-----===================================
|
|
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
|
|
-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
|
-=-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
|
|
-=-=-=-= =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
|
|
-=-=-=- -=-=-=-=-=-=-==
|
|
-=-=-==................................................-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
|
-=-=-=-................................................-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
|
|
-=-=-=-=..............................................-=-=-=-=-=-=-==
|
|
-=-=-=-=-=..........................................-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
|
|
-=-=-=-=-=-=-.....................................-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
|
|
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=.................................-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
|
|
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
|
|
|
|
Now this one works good, but it sometimes doesn't always leave good,
|
|
useable
|
|
smurf bodies behind. How this one works is that you dig a small hole in a
|
|
smurf
|
|
campsite. The tired smurfs will come across this in the late evening and see
|
|
that campfires have built here before (****=campfire). You have gas, and oil
|
|
in
|
|
the pit below. You put a thin piece of wood, not to thin, (----=wood) under
|
|
the
|
|
rooks of the campfire, you cover the wood up with ashes so the smurfs won't
|
|
notice it. Now the smurfs light a fire and go to sleep. Well we all know that
|
|
wood burns, so when it finally is all burned up the fire will fall to the
|
|
liquid
|
|
(oil and gas) below and wich will cause an explosion. But take care not to
|
|
make
|
|
a too big of an explosion, for it might just destroy the smurf bodies.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
* * * * * *
|
|
------------------------________________________________--------------------
|
|
|______________________________|
|
|
|
|
|
|
*=Smurf Berry Patch
|
|
|
|
The center of this trap is filled with glue. The smurfs see that they
|
|
need
|
|
to cross to get to their smurf berry patch and they attempt to cross. But the
|
|
glue slowly dries and hardens. You need to get this trap set up just a little
|
|
before the smurfs come or it won't work. Then all you do is take the slab of
|
|
dried glue home and let it soak in water. You need to use a type of glue that
|
|
isn't water proof for this to work. When the glue is all gone you will have
|
|
the
|
|
smurfs that are perfect to use in some of the new recepies.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Flower Trap
|
|
|
|
By now the need for a smurfette is real high. No one yet has come up with a
|
|
trap that will catch one. So I complied one that will work one a smurfette.
|
|
Simply take a flower and some fly paper. Now put the fly paper all over the
|
|
flower and spray some perfume onto it so that a smurfette will go to it to
|
|
smell
|
|
the aroma. She will take a snif and will be stuck on the fly paper. But you
|
|
MUST
|
|
be around for when this happens, for she will scream and other smurfs will
|
|
attempt to find her and help her. So you have other traps around. Then take
|
|
the
|
|
smurfette and leave. The smurfs will look for her and get caught in some of
|
|
your
|
|
other traps.
|
|
|
|
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
New Tasty Smurf Recipies
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
Smurf Dogs
|
|
|
|
12 Smurfs
|
|
1 Slice Smurf Cheese
|
|
2 Cans of Smurf Beans
|
|
1 Can A&W Smurf Sauce
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heat oven to 400. Place the smurfs in a large pan filled with the A&W
|
|
Smurf
|
|
sauce and the Smurf beans. Now cut the cheese into 12 strips. Place the smurfs
|
|
into the pan. Now place one strip of cheese on each smurf. Let it bake for 20
|
|
to
|
|
25 min. Makes 4 or 5 servings.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Garlic Smurf Bread
|
|
|
|
30 Smurfs, whole
|
|
3/4 Cup margarine, melted
|
|
1/8 Teaspoon garlic
|
|
|
|
Heat oven to 425. Mixe the butter and garlic. Now brush the mixture onto
|
|
the
|
|
smurfs. Place in a pan and bake for about 8 minutes or until golden brown.
|
|
This
|
|
goes good with anything.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Smurf Cookies
|
|
|
|
6 Smurfs
|
|
1 egg
|
|
2 Tablespoons of milk
|
|
1 Package of your flavor of cookie mix
|
|
|
|
Heat oven to 375. Mix cookie mixture with the egg and milk. Now chop the
|
|
smurfs up into small pieces. Now mix the chopped smurfs into the mixture. Pour
|
|
small ammounts onto a cookie sheet. Bake for 8-10 min or until lightly brown
|
|
on
|
|
the edges. Makes about 3 dozen cookies.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Smurf Fudge
|
|
|
|
2 Tablespoons of butter
|
|
3 Tablespoons of water
|
|
1 Package of chocolate fudge
|
|
6 Smurfs
|
|
|
|
Butter a 9x5x3 pan. Melt butter and water together. Cut smurfs into small
|
|
pieces. Mix the fudge and the smurfs into the mixture. Now stir over low heat
|
|
for about 5 minutes or until smooth and glossy. Spread mixture into pan and
|
|
let
|
|
cool until firm. Cut into 1 inch squares. Makes 32 pieces.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Smurf-Cheese Pie
|
|
|
|
1 Cup shredded cheese
|
|
12 Smurfs
|
|
1 Pie-Crust
|
|
|
|
Heat oven to 425. Chop up the smurfs into bite size pieces. Now mix the
|
|
cheese and the chopped smurfs. Pour that mixture into the pie crust. Bake for
|
|
35-40 minutes.
|
|
|
|
Smurf Punch
|
|
|
|
2 Cups Smurf Goo
|
|
1/2 Cups water
|
|
|
|
Mix smurf goo and water in a punch bowl. Now chill for a while. Its all
|
|
ready to be served. Good at parties and that sort.
|
|
|
|
Here is the new license that I promised to give you. It is crucial that you
|
|
have this on you when you go hunting or you will be fined up to $5000.
|
|
|
|
__________________________________________________________________________
|
|
| |
|
|
| Date: ___/___/___ |
|
|
| |
|
|
| Issued to: .................................................... |
|
|
| |
|
|
| I, .................................., will obey the following rules |
|
|
| for hunting smurfs in any state in the U. S. |
|
|
| |
|
|
| 1] All smurfs that I catch can be checked and confiscated if any |
|
|
| problems are found with any smurf. |
|
|
| 2] I will not kill more then 1000 smurfs in one (1) day. |
|
|
| 3] I can use the smurfs for any reason that I feel fit to catch |
|
|
| the smurfs and then anyway I feel fit to use them. |
|
|
| |
|
|
| Signed Issued By |
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
|
|
| ......................... ............................... |
|
|
| A member of the Smurf Butchers |
|
|
|________________________________________________________________________|
|
|
|
|
Now that you have an updated hunting license you can go out and try these
|
|
new traps.
|
|
|
|
[-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-]
|
|
[- Copyright (c) 1986 - Gerble Inc. - This and the many other files that -]
|
|
[- will follow this can and should be used on any and every bbs around. -]
|
|
[-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-]
|
|
[- Call The Electric Warehouse (714-775-2560) and get these files before -]
|
|
[- the general public does. -]
|
|
[-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-]
|
|
[- I hope you enjoyed this and the other files. There are many more to -]
|
|
[- come. -]
|
|
[-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-]
|