178 lines
9.7 KiB
Plaintext
178 lines
9.7 KiB
Plaintext
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WORLD RELIGIONS PHILOSOPHY AND OTHER THINGS...
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THE COMPLETE AND UNCENSORED SHIT LIST
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##### ### ## # ####### ### # ##### #######
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#### ###### ### ### ### ### #### ###
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##### ### ## ### ### ##### ### ##### ###
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============================================================================
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AGNOSTICISM What is this shit?
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ALTRUISM Want some shit?
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AMISH Shit dost occur.
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APATHISM I don't give a shit.
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ATHEISM I don't believe this shit.
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BA'HAI All shit is truly shit.
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BUDDHISM Shit happens.
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BAPTIST FUNDAMENTALISM Shit happens because the Bible says so.
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CAPITALISM Do you buy this shit?
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CAPITALISM How much will this shit cost?
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CAPITALISM Shit happens, and it'll cost you!
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CARTESIANISM I shit, therefore I am.
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CATHOLICISM If shit happens, you deserved it.
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CLASSICAL Marxism The workers take all the shit, but they're gonna
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dish it back out again.
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COMMUNISM Everybody gets shit.
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COMMUNISM It's everybody's shit.
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CONFUCIANISM Confucius say, "Shit happens."
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CREATION SCIENCE We have proof that God created all the shit that
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happens.
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CONTRACT THEORY If we don't agree to form society, everything will
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go to shit.
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DADISM Your mom knows her shit.
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DARWINISM We came up from shit.
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DESCARTES I shit therefore I am.
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DIANETICS Even shit can make money.
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DIANETICS Shit your way to a better life.
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DOMINICANS Belive in shit, or we'll boil you in it.
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DYSLEXIANISM Hits shapnep.
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DISCORDIANISM This MIGHT be shit, but is instead a fuzzy 1973
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Mustang.
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EGOISM I AM the shit!
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EGOISM My shit is the only shit that matters.
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EMPIRICISM Shit only happens if I see it happen.
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EVOLUTION Shit happens gradually
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EVOLUTIONISM Shit is getting better all the time!
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EXISTENTIALISM General: Your shit is what you make of it.
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Sartre: We are defined by our shit happening.
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EXISTENTIALISM Shit doesn't happen; shit just is.
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GURUISM The master's shit does not stink.
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HEDONISM Fuck that shit; let's party!
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HEDONISM This shit isfun!
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HINDUISM This shit happened before.
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Heisenbergism Shit happened, we just don't know where.
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Hitchhikerism The answer to all this shit is 42.
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IDEALISM That shit's all in your mind.
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ILLUMINISM We make shit happen.
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ISLAM If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
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ISLAM, SUNNI Why do Shiites always happen to us?
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JUDAISM Why does shit always happen to US?
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Jehovah's Witnesses No shit happens until Armageddon.
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Judaism, Reformed Got any Kaopectate?
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KIERKEGAARD This shit is highly improbable; therefore, we
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should believe it happens.
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Libertarianism Hands off my shit.
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Logical-Positivism Shit = S+H+I+T
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MARINES It's not just shit, it's an adventure.
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MCCARTHYISM Are you now, or have you ever been, shit?
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MENNONITE None of this modern shit now.
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MOMISM You'll eat this shit and like it!
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MORMONISM Your shit is shit, but our shit is the ONE TRUE
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shit.
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MURPHISM Shit always happens at the worst possible time
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and place.
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NARCISSISM My shit don't stink.
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NIETSCHE If you're not Ubermenschen, you're not shit.
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NIHILISM Everything is shit.
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NIXONISM Shit didn't happen, and if it did, I don't know
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anything about it.
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Nonsequiturism Route 176 goes south.
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Nonsequiturism Route 176 goes south.
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PAGANISM Shit happens. Accept it.
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PANGLOSSISM This is the best of all possible shits.
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PLATONISM There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit
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that happens is but an imperfect image.
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Protestantism Let shit happen to someone else.
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QUAKER
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RASTAFARIAN Shit happens, but if it's all right with Jah,
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it's all right with me.
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ROBINISM Holy shit, Batman!
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RUSSEAU Only natural shit is worth shit.
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Rastafarianism "Let's smoke this shit."
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SHINTO Shit is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping
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in it, show it some respect.
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SKINNERISM If eat then shit.
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SOLIPSISM All this shit is a creation of my imagination.
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SOLIPSISM The only thing I can be sure of is that my shit
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happens.
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SPOONERISM Hit shappens.
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STALINISM The state treats you like shit.
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SUBGENIUS Shit happens -- SO WHAT? GIVE ME SOME SLACK!
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SURREALISM Shit is shiny and shaped like a buick.
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Scientific-Creationism Shit happens all at once
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Secular-Humanism Shit happens, but there's a rational explanation.
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TAOISM The shit that happens is not the true shit.
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THE-FORCE Do not be swayed by the Dark Side of the shit.
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TV-Evangelism you need our shit, but it'll cost you.
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UNITARIANISM There's only one shit, but you can have it happen
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any way you want.
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Utilitarianism Do that which generates the greatest shit for the
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greatest number.
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VANDALISM I'm gonna wreck this shit!
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VOODOOISM Shit doesn't just happen - somebody dumped it on you
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Xeno's paradox It's logically impossible for shit to happen.
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YUPPIEISM It's my shit! All mine!
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ZEN What is the sound of shit happening?
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============================================================================
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Thanks to the Illuminai BBS and Steve Jackson Games
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Special Thanks :
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All the people who added thier SHIT to this list
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All the people who may find some more shit to add to this list
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Compiled at The Cell (817) 870-1060
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===========================================================================
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NEWTON'S FIRST LAW Shit that is happening tends to keep happening.
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NEWTON'S SECOND LAW You have to push to make shit happen.
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NEWTON'S THIRD LAW Every shit that happens has an equal and opposite
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shit happening.
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FIRST LAW OF THERMO. The shit that happens cannot be created or destroyed.
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SECOND LAW OF THERMO. When shit happens, it happens from a place of more
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shit to a place of less shit.
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THIRD LAW OF THERMO. Disorder is the inevitable result of shit happening.
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FINAGLE'S THIRD LAW The happening of shit tends to a maximum.
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SPOCKISM The shit of the many outweighs the shit of the
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few... or the one.
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SPOCKISM, REFORMED The shit of the one outweighs the shit of the many.
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DR. SPOCKISM Encourage your child to make shit happen.
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TREKKISM, TOS To boldly shit where no shit has happened before.
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TREKKISM, TNG This shit happens every week.
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TREKKISM, TMP This shit is happening again.
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OPTIMISM That shit won't happen to me.
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PESSIMISM That shit is going to happen.
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DEJA VOUS I think this shit happened before, but I'm not sure.
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TOTALITARIANISM Shit doesn't happen unless we say so.
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GURPISM Our shit can happen in any conceivable place or time.
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ENERGIZER RABBIT Shit happens... and happens... and happens...
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CONSTIPATION My shit just won't happen.
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OAT BRANISM Your shit will keep happening.
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VOYEURISM Look at that shit happening.
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JUNGIANISM All shit that happens is an aspect of the
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archetypical shit generated consentually by the mass subconscious.
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FREUDIANISM Shit happens as a result of repressed sexual urges.
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THOMAS KUHN Shit always happens exactly the way you expect it to.
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ANAL RETENTIVES Keep your shit to yourself.
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CLINTONISM Chicken shit.
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PEROTISM We're in deep shit.
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BUSHISM What shit?
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QUAYLEISM Shite happense.
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WALDOISM Where's that little shit?
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CARMENSANDIEGISM Where in the world is that shit happening?
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VACUUM That shit sucks.
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SCOOPERISM If your shit happens here, you gotta pick it up.
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FRISBEETARIANISM Shit happens under cars, just out of reach.
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BREATHAIRIANS We don't have to eat that shit.
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FELINISM Shit happens... bury it.
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CANINISM Shit happens in the neighbor's yard.
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URSISM Shit happens in the woods.
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NIMBYISM Your shit's not gonna happen here.
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EUPHEMISM Caca happens.
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* The views expressed in this posting are those of the individual author. *
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* Created from a user account on Capitol Macintosh ONLine (512) 479-0290 *
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============================================================
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