185 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
185 lines
12 KiB
Plaintext
Welcome to...
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Psi-Laine Magazine,Issue#1
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2/4/88
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--------------------------
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Introduction
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A few theoretical "facts" taken as truth for these files. A god(any god,to
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ignore religion,)was bored. He created a sport,an endless legion of players,
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a TV network to broadcast it and a world for it to take place. The
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planet is Earth #2. The network is Rand TV. The game is Psi-Laine!
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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The arena is set up,the announcer is in his booth. I'm Johnny Gee,for the
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first ever match of Psi-Laine. Here now is announcer Ed Markewicz.
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ED:Thank you,Johnny. All right,our contestants tonight are Snake Jake,a large
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burly fellow with two live snakes around his neck,and Captain Chainsaw,a lank
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character with a non-working chainsaw. This is wrestling with a TWIST!
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Ok,let's go to the arena. It is a 10 x 10 grid with nets around the rim.
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In the center are walking out SJ and CC. They shake hands,and...SJ does a
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jump! They both have reasonably high strength,nothing spectacular but
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certainly sustaining. Ah! CC is down,and SJ is sitting on him! What a start!
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Cap is on his stomach. He is still reasonably ok. Now,SJ...ah! He tries to
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summon Psi-Laine,the psychic power inherent in all inhabitants! The only
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problem is,as he tries to get it to work,he is in a trance for the time
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of two moves. And it may fail! An aura of yellow has sprung up around
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the concentrating SJ. The first period of concentration...fails! Oh,boy,
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Cap wrestles to his feet. Cap punches Jake in the stomach,but it's caught
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and voided! Jake jumps back at Cap's stomach. He succeeds! I think Jake
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may be the better man here,but time will tell. Cap is looking weak. Jake
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scrambles out of his jump,just in time to attempt Psi-Laine again! The
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first interval...succeeds! The aura changes from yellow to green! And
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hand-to-hand combat is the only type that will work during a trance.
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Captain Chainsaw has tried a bizarre punch to the chin! No,it just
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doesn't work for Cap. Jake attempts to take his mental power to the
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next stage,and...succeeds! His aura changes to blue! Captain Chainsaw
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tried to puch his chin and fell over his own feet,but he now gets up to
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attempt a punch to the arm. It succeeds,and the immobile Jake is weakened.
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Now even Cap falls silent along with the awed audience as the 3rd interval
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of Psi-Laine is started,and...SUCCEEDS! He gets back his free will,and he's
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smiling when he glows with a mystical power! A bolt from Jake's hands
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seeks out Cap's left hand and arm! It's gone! He has just crippled his
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opponent permanently! Cap is nearly out of his mind,and out of his
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consciousness. Madly,Cap...wow! Maybe Cap is just deranged,but he has
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just begun the Psi-Laine sequence! His first attempt...fails! Poor Cap!
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Jake now tries to add the use of accessories/weapons. His snakes hone in
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on their target. Oh,Cap is in a daze,almost out of it. Jake tries to press
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the advantage,with his specialty...the jump! But it fails,I guess Jake
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can foul up too. Cap begins to run. Maybe he's just running scared,or
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maybe he's trying to gather momentum from off the sides of the arena!
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If he was in square #46,he runs to the north,bounces off the north rim,
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and back one. Now he is at#15. Everyone is wondering what Jake will
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do about this. I feel he could just hold Cap by the head and let him tire
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himself out,but he does nothing! Cap runs again,another five frames to
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the south. This is senseless of Cap! Jake now runs one square himself,
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to make himself diagonal from Cap. This may well be the final position!
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Cap,having an option,grabs Jake's right arm and throws him around,underhanded!
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This man is as insane as he seems,and seems to have a wild,unleashed strength!
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Ol' Jake really took a spill there,and is now feeling fairly weak. Still
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better than Cap,though. Cap continues,picking up Jake's left hand and
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spinning him in a circle! He's dizzy Cap must be getting cocky,because
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he tries for Psi-Laine again! Interval#1...succeeds! His aura is green,but
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it doesn't matter to Jake,who tries a jump! He throws his own legs into
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the air,coming down against Cap's legs,which buckle. Cap falls to
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the ground! This may be it,folks! Interval#2...succeeds! Jake is worried,
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so he tries something fancy. He grabs Cap's left leg,drops to the ground
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with it(forcing Cap down),and rolls into a ball! Cap doesn't(of course),so
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his Psi-Laine is disrupted. In fact...I think he's unconscious! Yes,all
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Jake need do now is one legal hit to make it official! But wait! The
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Psi-Laine wasn't voided! Interval#3...what will it do...it...it...it...
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FAILS! That really sapped Cap's strength. Jake tosses his snakes down
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at Cap,and he has lost. The judges are declaring this match OVER!
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Coming Next:Military Man vs. Flower Power
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Note:Character Profiles are always welcome! Just put them up and they
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will most likely be ingested into the Understanding Machine.
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---
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Psi-Laine Magazine is a DreckFiction Production
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Copyright (c) 1988 DreckFiction
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Welcome to...
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Psi-Laine Magazine,Issue#2
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2/19/88
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Ed:Hello! Johnny Gee has gone to visit his parents in Europe,so I'll be taking
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it right from here. Tonight,we were planning,in the second Psi-Laine match
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ever,to have a fight between Flower Power and Militart(Military) Man. But,for
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some unforseen reason,Military Man had to back out at the last minute. So to
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fill in,he called on his old pal...Earl Weaver,manager of the Baltimore Orioles!
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Since 1968! Now in the ring,one i...on one side is Flower Power carrying a
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giant flower made of diamond,with a gold stem! Wouldn't wanna get bonm(no)
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bonked by that!! This should be a walk,the ex-hippie against...hahahaha...
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that fat old slob! The two contestants shake hands in the center of the ring,
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and begin fighting! Earl gets in the first shot! He picks up Flower's right
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arm,and does an "old-fashioned" body slam! Ouch! I don't know if Earl has
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any miltia(military) experience but he almost certainly watches pro wrestling
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on TV! They are both still reasonably strong,but only Flowsy(Flowsy?) is
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hurt by the body slam! And Earl and...Earl ain't about to quit! (Sorry,my
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mental problem is acting up!) He,in his feeble state,jumps over Flower Power
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and snags a leg! They both fall to the ground but Earl gets up and starts to
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run! He runs from square#67,3 to the east,and bounces back 3. With more
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power behind him,he grabs Flower Power's left leg really actyihksdf(sorry,
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my brain failure again.) Flower Power is really acting useless,so maybe I
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was wrong about the old fart!! He causes FP to fall...hard! Tho,things don't
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look to good for(to! Haha.) FP,becaz...because every one of Earl's hits
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in a row has worked. And now Earl runs again. 3 to south,and one bv...back.
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Sorry,my brain is bothering me too much I'll try to get you a replacement me.
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Hi. I'm Timmy Kurrik,fresh out of college and announcer's school. I've been
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given an on-the-job opportunity to qwork(work) in place of brain-damaged Ed.
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Earl has been running,reall weirldy. Is he senile? Now Flower Power tries
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for Psi-Laine,about the only thing he can do when not in the immediate
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vicinity of his opponent. 1st attempt...succeeds. Wow! Now Earl goes into
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Pasilane. Pasilane? Psi-laine! Simulated,but simultaneous! Wow,this is
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weird,folks! Earl's first interval...fails! What a waste! What about Flower's
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2nd interval? It fails! Too ad! bad! Yeah! Earl,as is his right,elects to
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take a weapon onto the arena,a metal baseball bat. Earl clearly isn't
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gettinmg anywhere so he walks not south,but north...3/ less than 3 in some
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states. He walks north 34 ...34? No,#57! Meaning he walks 3! Yeah! FP's
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turn and he tries Psi-Laine again! Interval#1...suycceeds! (Sorry for all
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these typos,our typeseetter was drunk. He took the audio log of Ed's
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brain-damaged state and did it word-for word,and now in his drunken stat
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(state) he is fouling everyling up. Get the iudea?) Earl seems to be
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using his baseball bat! It...doesn't contact at all. Real dumb,Earl.
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FP,deep in psi-laine trance,fails! Earl decides to run to the east 6
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(tyo1! You dummy!) It puts him right back where he just was,but with
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more momentum. Hee,hee! He swings his bat again,and fails again/! Maybe
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this is why Earl got out of baseball and into Psi-Laine! Fp swings his
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own jewelled flower which is about the size of a shovel,by the way,but it
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doesn't make contact! These guys both have lousy aim!
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Lightning strikes! The bored God makes I rule change:
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I bequeath the ende of runnyng! That option in combaet shaell bae raeplaced
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by a new God-given form of Magick!
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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They are both struck with awe,but Earl now tries Psi-Laine again! Attempt#1...
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Fails! FP takes his flower,postions iit like a blasted pool cuer,(cue) and
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smashes Earl in the y! The eyes I mean,in A Y-SHAPED hit,reminiscent of the
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3 stooges. Is this the 1st successful hit on Earl? Earl recovers and tries
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the power for himself...the power of Psi-Laine! Attempt#1...succeeds! Flower
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attacks the immobile Earlm,(Earl) and...oh...it 's apparent that this is Gold's
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(God's) new form of magixc(magic!) It is SDW! No! I don't know! Typesetter,cut
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that out! This is SWITCH! Now Flower is in the middle of Psi-Laine,clutching
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a baseball bat,and Earl is stanbding there holding a jewelled flower! Flower
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does Attempt#2...and it succeeds! Maybe Earl's psi-laine wit will backfire
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on him! Earl...attempts to switch again! Of course,anyone would! But...for
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------------------------------some strange reason,it fails. OH! I see why!
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|God again: I order that the |And since that failed,it is now FP's 3rd attenmpt
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|switch power be usxed but |at Psi-Laine...the biggie...and it...SUCCEEDS!!!
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|a mere one time per match!! |A bolt manifests itself in FP's hands,and he
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------------------------------ fiores///...fires it at Earl without a thought!
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He fires at Earl's left leg! It's gone! That kind of thing more or less ends
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the match! Earl's can't walk,he can barely balance! He's just lying on tje
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the ground with his flower! P! Pathes! Pathos! Pathetic! Isn't it? Well,now
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Flower Power,looking mad,gets a runnig start,and smashes Earl in the cheat!
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(You know I meant chest!) Earl is really badly off! Now why would FP try
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Psi-Laine again? Attempt#1...succeeds! Attempt#2...fails! Earl just can't
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do anything! He might actually be able to walk,but not without practice on
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a fighting court,with other wounds,and this being a few minutes after he
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lost the limb! Flower Power tries agaibn to stick Earl in the eyes with
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the bat,but Earl rolls pout! Out,,,...of the way. Stick to it,guy! Break
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a leg! Earl can't do anything,and FP does something really cruel! He picks
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up Earl's othe ...r leg and throws him! Earl is almost unconscious!
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FP now gedts Earl with a punch to the neck! Boy,that guyy! I think...yet!
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Ear;l do be unconscious...herm! He out like dat lite! One more hit and
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FP will win! He jumps on EW! A bug in thwe ! A spider in the typing room!
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aAnyway,he jumps o nth a A! He jumps onto Earl's face! The poor guy!
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Flower power wins!
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------_--------
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As you have porably,probably noticed,we have multiple technical difficultiesd!
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Barring these,Psi-Laine Magazine with Ed Markewicz,Johnny Gee and Tim Kurrik
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will return ith! With new matches,new contestants,and these features coming:
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New characters,new modes of attack,interviews,"The Den"(a visit with the
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atmospheres of some of our more flamboya tnt charaxcters) and lost lots and
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lots of Psi-Laine matches!
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Character suggweestions always welcome! Just be just be sure to
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Copy:CHARACTERS on this volume,adnd they will most likely be ingested into
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the understanding machine.
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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---
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Psi-Laine Magazine is a DreckFiction production.
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Copyright (c) 1988 DCreckFiction
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Copyright (c) 1988 DreckFiction
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