146 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
146 lines
5.3 KiB
Plaintext
FOREIGN SIGNS IN ENGLISH
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In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If
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you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
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In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
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In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next
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day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
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In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only
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when lit up.
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In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for
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wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one
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should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going
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alphabetically by national order.
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In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front
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desk.
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In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the
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office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
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In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure
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is the job of the chambermaid.
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In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the
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chambermaid.
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In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
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monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian
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and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
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Thursday.
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In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the
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corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
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On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing
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to hope for.
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On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid
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red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted
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duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
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In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend
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courteous, efficient self-service.
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Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
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In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big
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rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
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Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition
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of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These
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were executed over the past two years.
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In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking
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shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
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In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel
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porter.
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A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden
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on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for
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instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are
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married with each other for that purpose.
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In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
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of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby
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be used for this purpose.
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In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the
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latest Methodists.
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A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water
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has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
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In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the
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afternoon having a good time.
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In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven
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city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
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Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride
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on your own ass?
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On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock
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to right.
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In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from
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their own skin.
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On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to
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work throughout its useful life.
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Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
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In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
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In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner
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if dressed as a man.
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In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
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In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send
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them in all directions.
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On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit
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to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
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In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have
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children in the bar.
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At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have
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any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
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In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other
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diseases.
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In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the
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water served here.
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In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find
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they are best in the long run.
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From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
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CONDITIONER: COOLERS AND HEATERS: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM
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in your room, please control yourself.
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From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of
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foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at
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first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with
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vigor.
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Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
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- English well talking.
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- Here speeching American.
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