textfiles/humor/godmonth.txt

46 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
Raw Blame History

This file contains invisible Unicode characters

This file contains invisible Unicode characters that are indistinguishable to humans but may be processed differently by a computer. If you think that this is intentional, you can safely ignore this warning. Use the Escape button to reveal them.

Nan....Isis....Blog....Grandmother-Spider....Jehovah....Bob....Lugh....
: Ú¿ :
: ÚÙÀ¿ :
E À¿ÚÙ O
r ³³ d
i ÀÙ i
s n
: FRIENDS, "How do you stand with the Lord?" :
: "what do you mean, `which one?' ?!" :
C For those of you who are unsure about your current faith or H
o belief system, we offer a viable alternative. We would like u
y to introduce the newest breakthrough in contemporary religion |
o b
t THE GOD OF THE MONTH CLUB a
a r
: Included in this fantastic offer: Each month you will receive d
: complete rituals of the current God &/or Goddess of the month :
A including what (or whom) to sacrifice. (All monetary sacrifices :
l should be sent to our Board of Directors.) H
l e
a Yes--we are looking for people who like to prey. READ ON. c
h a
: Each monthly package will include: 1. A lavishly illustrated t
: booklet of appropriate prayers and rituals. 2. Necessary tools e
M and instructions for all prayers and rituals. 3. Where needed :
a plastic injected graven images are also included. :
m S
m "But what will all this cost?" mere pennies! and we guarantee h
o results! are you worried about tithing to the wrong faith? a
n with God of the Month Club, you'll cover them all! Be in good n
: with ALL deities! Any you can't manage for yourself--(for a small g
: extra fee.) our certified and bonded professionals will do your |
B praying for you. (if you should end up in Hell or some other T
r such region, merely send us a postcard,[sorry, no channeling] and i
i we will cheerfully refund ALL of your money back. :
g REMEMBER: The God of the Month Club will bring variety to your :
i life, Celibacy one month, Orgies the next...A chance to travel D
t to sacred shrines...companionship with like-minded members...AND a
: Free Deprogramming!!!!! g
: o
: DON'T DELAY! CALL TODAY! n
: :
The Great Carrot....Cthulhu....Quetzalcoatl....Joseph Smith....Kali...: