171 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
171 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
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/-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-\
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/ THE REAL "COOL DUDES" GUIDE \
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< by: >
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\ Red Phantom /
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\-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-/
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%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
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%% The Lazy Dragon...............(312)/(728-4069) %%
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%% Armageddon....................(312)/(967-0848) %%
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%% The Music Box.................(312)/(774-0202) %%
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%% Ripco International...........(312)/(528-5020) %%
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%% Blue Skies....................(312)/(386-0499) %%
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%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
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::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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Perhaps the most widely-used term in "modemland", second only to 'ware', is
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the word 'dude' (and the many variations thereof). The title of 'dude' is,
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undoubtedly, a term of respect, since many people often claim themselves to
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be dudes. In fact, a super-elite person is often referred to as a "cool dude."
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I know you must be saying to yourself, "But how can I become a Cool Dude?"
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Well, here are some guidelines:
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Cool dudes don't leech.
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Cool dudes don't keep their disks in a cardboard box.
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Cool dudes know how to pronounce "DOS".
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Cool dudes never talk like: "HAY, D0 U WANT 2 XFER W/ME L8R?"
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Cool dudes are over 15 years of age.
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Cool dudes don't bitch at someone for a typo.
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Cool dudes drink lots of beer.
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Cool dudes NEVER drink "L.A." beer.
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Cool dudes do not refer to a dictionary every five minutes while
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typing in a message.
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Cool dudes don't leave their computers idle for more than 24 hours.
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Cool dudes don't use their computers 24 hours a day.
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Cool dudes appreciate it when a sysop gives him a security raise.
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Cool dudes don't buy cracked wares, or any wares, for that matter.
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Cool dudes don't sell cracked wares, they trade for them.
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Cool dudes don't trade "ware-for-ware."
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Cool dudes type at least 50 words a minute.
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Download complete
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Download which 1-11 0=List <CR>=Quit:10
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A)scii, E)xit, X)modem ?A
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Press <CR> to begin
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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*- -*
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-* BEAGLE TIP BOOK #3 *-
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*- -*
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-* PRESENTED BY BETS C. *-
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*- -*
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-*APPLE MANOR (716) 654-POOF!*-
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*- -*
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
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PROGRAMMABLE RESET
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*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
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There are a couple of pokes you A
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Press <CR> to begin
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Murphy's Computer Laws
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----------------------
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Courtesy of: The Snark
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Laws of Computer Programming
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----------------------------
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1. There is always one more bug.
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2. Any given program, when running, is
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obsolete
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3. If a program is useless, it will
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have to be documented.
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4. If a program is useful, it will
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have to be changed.
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5. Any program will expand to fill all
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available memory.
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6. The value of a program is
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proportional to the weight of its
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output.
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7. Program complexity grows until it
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exceeds the capability of the
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programmer to maintain it.
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8. Make it possible for programmers to
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write in English and you will find
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out that programmers cannot write
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in English.
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Weinberg's Law
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--------------
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If builders built buildings the way
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programmers wrote programs, then the
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first woodpecker that came along would
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destroy civilization.
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Hare's Law of Large Programs
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----------------------------
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Inside every large program is a
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small program struggling to get out.
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Troutman's Programming Laws
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---------------------------
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1. If a test installation functions
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perfectly, all subsequent systems
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will malfunction.
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2. Not until a program has been in
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production for at least six months
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will the most harmful error then
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be discovered.
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3. Job control cards that cannot be
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arranged in improper order will be.
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4. Interchangeable tapes won't
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5. If the input editor has been
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designed to reject all bad input,
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an ingenious idiot will discover a
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method to get bad data past it.
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6. Machines work, people should think.
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Golub's Laws of Computerdom
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---------------------------
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1. A carelessly planned project takes
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three times longer to complete than
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expected; a carefully planned
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project will take only twice as
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long.
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2. The effort required to correct the
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error increases geometrically with
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time.
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Bradley's Bromide
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-----------------
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If computers get too powerful, we
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can organize them into a committee --
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that will do them in.
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......................
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