126 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
126 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
<*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*>
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<*> <*>
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<*> The Real Luzers Guide <*>
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<*> Volume I <*>
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<*> <*>
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<*) By Jimmy the Phreak <*>
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<*> <*>
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<*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*>
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Call these Chaotic Computing Systems
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300 baud AE - (415)490-8202, pw=VICKI
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1200 baud AE - (415)651-5043, no pw
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---------
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The Seadog BBS Catsend (415)657-4076
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---------
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The Shrine of Chaos BBS (415)659-1264 30megs!
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This phile is dedicated to the luzers of Team Bonzia.
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---------------------------------------
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Throughout my time in the modem world, I have unfortunately encountered the
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dreaded, LUZER. These strange parasitical creatures run rampant in the modem
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world causing great frustration to us real pirates. These seemingly alien life
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forms gather in colonies and invade boards, and when they build up enough
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courage, they even attempt to lash out at real established user groups. This
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text file is intended to be an aid to recognize a luzer before they usually have
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a chance to group,even though they wouldn't even stand a chance against a well
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established pirating organization.
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---------------------------------------
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As defined in the real pirates guides luzers are usually under 15 years of
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age. There have been accounts though of some reaching 18 and 19.
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Real luzers gather in groups.
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Real luzers don't own their own com- puter ,if they do it is usually an Atari
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or a Commodore-64.
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Real luzers watch Voltron.
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Real luzers play with Tranformers.
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Real luzers don't have lower case.
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Real luzers have only one drive.
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Real luzers use TV sets for monitors.
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Real luzers buy SS/SD diskettes from their local department store at $40 a
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box.
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Real luzers don't have 80 columns.
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Real luzers think a CAT is a furry,four legged animal that scratches up fur-
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niture.
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Real luzer use SPRINT.
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Real luzers mother's buy them their clothes.
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Real luzer carry over 4 pens and/or pencils in their pocket.
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Real luzers post "Leave me E-Mail" messages.
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Real luzers have only one fone line.
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Real luzers post their home fone # in a public message.
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Real luzers don't wear white shoes because they think they'll get them dirty.
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Real luzers use stupid one word handles, i.e. Ziar.
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Real luzers leech.
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Real luzer always associate with other luzers.
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Real luzers call AE's and boards from 9am to 11pm because they have nothing
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better to do.
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Real luzers like Michael Jackson, Culture Club, and the Pointer Sisters.
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Real luzers dial pulse.
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Real luzers break dance.
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Real luzers use their real name instead of a handle.
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Real luzers have under 48k
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Real luzers only take showers anually.
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Real luzers have a grade point average of 3.5 plus.
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Real luzers listen to top 40.
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Real luzers have bowl hair cuts.
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Real luzers think they are Ninjas.
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Real luzers backspace in messages.
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Real luzers put over in over 30 exclamation marks per message.
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Real luzers buy software.
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Real luzers are members of the school computer club.
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Real luzers live in trailer parks.
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Real luzers wardrobes consist of nothing but T-Shirts.
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Real luzers deserve it!
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.......................................
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: ___________________________________ :
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:.....................................:
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Watch for more text philes from Chaotic Computing, coming soon to an AE or BBS
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near you!
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[=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=]
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[ (c)Copyright 1985-Chaotic Computing ]
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[=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=]
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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