63 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
63 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
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THE 150 CALORIE COMMUTE
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By M.L. Verb
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A long-term study of Harvard alumni (now THERE'S an unrepresentative group if I
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ever heard of one) clearly shows that exercise can increase longevity.
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The researchers concluded that you'll live longer and be healthier if you burn
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up at least 2,000 calories a week in exercise. I don't doubt the findings for
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a minute. But I think we need to be more generous than we usually are about
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what constitutes exercise.
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Surely not all exercise has to be aerobic dancing or marathon running, which is
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why we need to be more sensitive to the kinds of exercise modern adults engage
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in. Just getting from sun-up to sun-down requires all kinds of exercise that I
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think should be counted in the 2,000-calorie total.
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For instance, how many of us parents spend at least 150 calories a day yelling
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at kids? Why don't the health doctors count that? It's as tiring-- and, thus,
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as beneficial--as riding a bike for an hour. Maybe more so, since usually you
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can ride a bike alone.
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I know several modern adults who must burn up 100 to 250 calories a night in
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aerobic TV channel switching. The 250 figure applies to folks without remote
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control.
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And think how many calories the average employee burns up at work each day,
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calories that should be considered exercise. In a symphony of frustration and
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immaturity, phones are slammed into their cradles all day long in our office.
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You could set it to oddly syncopated music, and I calculate each slam (counting
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the mental boiling that goes with it) burns off at least 25 calories.
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Another major urban exercise to which doctors pay almost no attention is
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commuting. A good commute can be worth anywhere from 50 to 1,000 calories a
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day. Probably there are people who would waste away from all their burned
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commuting calories if they didn't get the weekends off to regain their strength
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and weight.
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Two of the best commuting exercises are swearing and shaking fists. Swearing
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at other commuters is in roughly the same calorie-count neighborhood as yelling
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at kids. But shaking fists can be heavy-duty aerobics. Add to that the bobbing
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and weaving through traffic or keeping your balance on a lurching bus, and it's
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a wonder that anyone who works has a weight or health problem.
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There are, of course, countless other routine activities that should be counted
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as exercise. Well, yes, sex, but I was thinking more of paying bills (easily a
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100-calorie event), doing crossword puzzles (a 100 or 200 item for sure) and
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avoiding garden work (often more calorie-consuming than actually working in the
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garden).
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If you think ironing clothes isn't an exercise you either wear wrinkled stuff
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or send it all to the cleaners. Vacuuming ought to right up there with power
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lifting, and taking the trash out surely can't be ignored in the weekly count.
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Reading the National Satirist by the way, is worth only about 20 calories a
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day. Unless you have developed the healthy and calorie-burning habit of
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yelling and jumping around at the things (and columnists) in the NatSat that
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make you angry.
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A good mad NatSat read a day can keep the doctor away.
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Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
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