textfiles/humor/JOKES/umpire.txt
2021-04-15 13:31:59 -05:00

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>Oh you dopey bastards.
>The British Empire is the man in white with the hat at the cricket.
>Regards Alan
There was once a baseball umpire in the American League with a
reputation for a short temper and shorter manners. He was continually
abusive to players, managers, and fans. He threw players out at the
tiniest provocation or on pure whim. He took personal dislikes to players
and allowed them to influence his calls.
After one televised game where he paticularly disgraced himself, he
returned home, settled in his chair, and offered his child a seat in
his lap. The lad, who had seen his father's conduct, ran puling from the
room.
The moral, of course, is that the son never sits on the brutish umpire.
Sorry about that.
| phil@zorch.SF-Bay.ORG | Phil Gustafson
| {ames|pyramid|vsi1}!zorch!phil | I post from zorch, but I have a job
| sgi!gsi!phil | 1550 Martin Ave., San Jose CA 95126
| phil@gsi | 408/286-1749