195 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
195 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
please note -- these jokes are EXTREMELY offensive and
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probably belong in CAN. If you don't wanna read them,
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hit "s" for stop at the .page break.)
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Mandatory warning to all those latent women-haters who are trying to
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learn to deal with their problem:
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PLEASE BEWARE!!
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The following posting will cause thousands of women to be beaten,
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burned and killed. This kind of trash only perpetuates hatred of
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women and Greek letters! Do not read this!! I repeat: DO NOT READ
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THIS!!!
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And now, a note for the rest of us:
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Back by popular demand!!!
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For those hundreds, nay, thousands of net-oids who DEMANDED that I
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repost this, here it is!
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THE CANONICAL LIST OF SORORITY GIRL JOKES
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------
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What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
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Her ankles.
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What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
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You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
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You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
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You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
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How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
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You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in
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the gutter and they always come back for more.
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What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers ?
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Sorority girls cost less per score.
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What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
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About 40 lbs.
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How do you equalize the two?
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Feed the elephant.
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What's the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
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Introduce herself.
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Walks home.
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What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
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Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
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How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?
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She drops her nail file.
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What's a sorority girl's favorite wine?
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"Daaadddy, I want to go to mi-ammmmi."
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What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape?
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Don't know. There is only so much an ape can be forced to do...
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Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?
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'Cause everyone gets a turn.
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How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?
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Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door and throw a twinkie on
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the bed.
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Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?
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You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand.
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What's the difference between sorority girls and garbage?
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Garbage gets taken out once a week.
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What do you call 100 sorority girls sun-bathing on a beach in Cuba?
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Bay of Pigs.
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What do you call a sorority girl hang-glider festival?
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Multiple total eclipses.
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What is a sorority girl's mating call...
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"I'm soooo drunk, I'm sooooo drunk!"
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What is the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?
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After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
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What do you get when cross a lawyer with a sorority girl??
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Nothing. There are some things a sorority girl won't do.
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I don't know, but it sure enjoys screwing people.
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I don't know, but when it sucks your cock, it does't stop until it
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gets blood.
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1) Tri Delts; I'm sure everyone else has.
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2) If your date won't, Tri Delts.
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3) Once you've tried everyone else, Tri Delts.
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and
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2) __________ __________
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\ / /\ \ /
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\ / / \ \ /
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\ / / \ \ /
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\ / / \ \ /
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\/ /________\ \/
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Tri Delts: Two out of three go down.
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What do fraternity boys call hemorrhoids ?
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Speed bumps.
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What's the difference between a sorority girl and a dog ?
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Drivers will swerve to miss the dog.
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How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
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Two, one to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daaaaddy.
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7, one to change it and six to go out and buy Tab (or diet Coke).
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65, 1 to do it and 64 to sing and clap.
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One. She holds on to it and the world revolves around her.
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Six. One to screw it in and five to make the T-shirts.
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Ten. Nine to stand around scratching their heads, and one to
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get her boyfriend to do it.
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Why is a sorority girl like railroad tracks?
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She's been laid all over the country.
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What three words will a sorority girl never hear?
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"Attention K-mart shoppers"
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Why does a sorority girl close her eyes during sex?
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So she can fantasize about shopping.
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What is a sorority girl's favorite sexual position?
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Facing Bloomingdale's.
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What's the difference between Jell-o and a sorority girl?
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Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.
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What do you call a sorority girl's waterbed?
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The Dead Sea (Lake Placid is also OK).
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How can you tell if a sorority girl's a nymphomaniac?
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She'll make love the same day she has her hair done.
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What's a sorority girl's idea of natural childbirth?
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No makeup.
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What's the difference between a sorority girl and a barracuda?
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Nail polish.
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How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex?
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Marry her.
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Whats the difference between a sorority girl and a broom closet?
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Only 2 men fit inside a broom closet at once
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What's the difference between a telephone booth and a sorority girl?
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You don't need a quarter for the sorority girl.
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What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
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A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
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What's the difference between a sorority girl and garbage?
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Garbage smells better.
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Sorority girl attract more flies.
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What' the difference between a sorority girl and a vacuum cleaner?
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Nothing. They both suck.
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You can buy a new vacuum when you get sick of it.
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You can buy a new vacuum when it no longer sucks.
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When a vacuum cleaner is full of sh*t, its easy to dump the old bag.
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A vacuum cleaner can't suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
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How do you get four sorority girls on one chair?
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Tell them there's a rich guy sitting on it.
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Turn the chair upside down and put one sorority girl on each leg.
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What's the difference between a tribe of sly pygmies and a
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sorority girl track team?
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The tribe of sly pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.
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What is the difference between a sorority girl and a rooster?
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In the morning a rooster says "cock-a-doodle-doo", while a
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sorority girl says "any-cock'll-do"
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What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street?
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A case of Schlitz.
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What's the difference between a sorority girl and parsely?
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You don't eat parsely.
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Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar?
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They are both stuck up cunts.
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What does a frat boy say to a girl that refuses him?
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"Have another beer."
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