55 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
55 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
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SNIGLETS
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ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid)adj. Being able to drive and refold a
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road map at the same time.
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AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus)adj. Possesing the ability to turn the bath
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tub faucet on and off with your toes.
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AQUALIBRUM (ak wa lib' re um)n. The point where the stream of drinking
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fountain water is at its perfect height, thus releiving the
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drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting
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himself in the eye.
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BURGACIDE (burg' uh side)n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture
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and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
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BUZZACKS (buz' aks)n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up
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display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know
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the phones are not connected.
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CARPERETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun)n. The act, when vacuuming, of run-
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ning over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times,
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reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it
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back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
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DIMP (dimp)n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by
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asking, "Do you work here?"
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DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt')v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped
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on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will "remove
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all the germs.
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ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma)n. A rescue vehichle which can only be seen in the
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rearview mirror.
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EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz)n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the
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movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.
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ELBONICS (el bon' iks)n. The actions of two people manuevering for one arm-
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rest in a movie theater.
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ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun)n. The notion that the more you press
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an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
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FRUST (frust)n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the
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dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he
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finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
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LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun)n. Manhandling the "open here"
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spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the
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"illegal" side.
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NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see)n. A flourescent light bulb struggling to come
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to life.
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PEPIER (pehp ee ay')n. The waiter at a fancy restuarant whose sole purpose
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seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground
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pepper.
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PETONIC (peh ton' ik)adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a
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household pet.
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PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh)n. The afflication of dialing a phone number and
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forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
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PUPKUS (pup' kus)n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses
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its nose to it.
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TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun)n. The act of always letting the
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phone ring at least twice before picking it up, even when you're
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only six inches away.
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