177 lines
6.5 KiB
Standard ML
177 lines
6.5 KiB
Standard ML
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The following was downloaded from the Ancient Pond BBS.
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Believe it or not, these two guys are STILL at it !!
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Dave,
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Seven puns in one sentence! Even I'm impressed. Lilly did I know
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that you had it in you. Mums the word however. There's a grass
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roots movement to defoliate those who plant "puns" in every day
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discourse. The stupid sods! I wood rather hear more puns, and less
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politics. They're trying to sap the life blood of this fine nation!
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Š
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Long live the pun!
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Ed
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Dave,
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LETTUCE stop BEETing around the BUSH. These puns are starting to
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GRAPE on my nerves. This pun problem is GROWING outta hand. In the
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FUSCHIA (I like that one!), LETTUCE stick to puns in the mineral
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family. Besides, I think I'm starting to come down with a COAL.
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Ed "...COTTON take any more botony puns... "
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Dave
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I MUSTARD given you the wrong impression. I'm all in favor of
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MILKING this comedy ROOTine for as long as possible. I'm just kinda
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in a PICKLE as my SAUCE of botony puns is running low. I CHEDDAR to
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think what will happen if I run out of puns. I'm going to start
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REEDing the DICTIONARY to SPRUCE up on my pun vocabulary.
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Ed "...of COORS I'll keep on punning..."
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Dave,
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AMSTEL willing and able to keep this pun-thing going. BUD its going
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to take some effort om my part. I mean, from PABST experiences this
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pun-thing has proven to be a mental drain. Of COORS I'm willing to
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continue, BUD it it means that I must become ever the WIESER. I have
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no intention of taking the BLUE RIBBON in the pun extraveganza, BUD I
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BECKS to differ. (Hey! Try and do BITTER!) I realize that my
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puns are starting to ALE, BUD what is a POUR bouy supposed to do?
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Its not like I have puns on TAP as you do.
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Ed "...not trying to FOSTER any false hopes..."
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Dave,
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I'll have you know that my sole RASIN d e'tre for logging onto this
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bulletin GOURD is to do some pun sparring with you. I am more than
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APPLE to pull my own weight in this task, even if my puns aren't so
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GRAPE. But ORANGE you BERRY happy to have this opportunity to
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sharpen your verbal skills? Admittedly my group of puns is no more
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than a MELONge, but what is GOURD enough for me should be GOURD
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enough for you. Although it takes me more time to FIG-ure out GNU
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puns, I shall continue to "pun" even if my reputation here starts to
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PLUM-met.
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Ed "...my PEAR-ity bit is set to 1..."
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David - PLEASE - I beg you!! Can the puns!!! I can't take it
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anymore! I am already nauseous enough these days without have to
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slog my way through your latest missive.
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If you have any heart left, please......STOP!!
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Erika...noted pleader
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----------------------------------------
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EriKa,
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Just want to let you know that if Dave is willing to stop this pun
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PUN-ishment, then I am too. Although I refuse to stop PUN-ctuating
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an occasional message with a few PUN-ctiliously placed PUN-gent puns.
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Ed "...getting a little PUN-ch drunk on puns himself..."
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----------------------------------------
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Ahhh, Ed, Ed, Ed...
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Why must you continue to be such a fruit, you nut? In pulling my
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legume may find that you've kumquat close to ultimate destruction.
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However, since I'm berry much the forgiving sort, I'll let it pass
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(and orange you glad about it!).
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What I must warn you about however, is that by acting cuke, you will
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never become a radishing beauty (but you don't carrot all about that,
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do you?). Lima fraid you may have already passed that point, and
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will be as I yam, a salad case of in(s)anity.
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Dave
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Wow! I could've had a V-8!
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----------------------------------------
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ARGHHHH!!!! No more puns!! I can't take any more! Have pity on a
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seasick expectant mother!!!!
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Please.....I'm begging you......
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.........[gradual fade out].........
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Oh Dave,
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Hey! WADDLE ya gonna do? We all gotta PIDGEON and help if we're
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gonna make pun thing a success. I mean, we're not trying to
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OSTRICHsize anyone here. FEATHER record, we don't discriminate agin
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anyone. I mean, if a CRANE operator wants to join the pun-fest, then
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she is most certainly encouraged to do so (that was SO bad...even I
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cringed while typing it!).
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By the way...did you buy a condo are you still paying HOUSE WRENt?
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Ed "...was trying my darndest to fit in African swallow...or even an
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American one yet..."
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Dave,
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I don't mean to BRAIN on your parade, but I think the current MATTER
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at hand deserves some attention. People here have been trying to
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SINUS up for some "pun therapy" at the local mental OCCIPITAL in an
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effort to reduce the prevalence of puns here on the board. I'm not
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sure who HEADs this GANGLIA of neer-do-wells, but they have some
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NERVE! So if you see anyone wierdos SKULLking around your home, call
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me or any of the members of the "Coalition for Freedom to Pun" right
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away!
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I wish I could talk longer, but I'm busy. OBLON-GATA go!
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Ed "...I'll let you use 'memory'...you're more lascivious than I...
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----------------------------------------
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Hmmm...I throat we were done with this stuff. Frankly, it's too
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ear-ly in the AM for me to really pun, but I'll try to stirrup some.
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Eye don't know if it can be done, though...I may just have to lymph
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across the finish line (NOTE TO ALL USERS: If you're neuron this
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system, this is an old topic twixt Ed and m'self). I suppose you'd
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be gland to see that happen, or at least find it vaguely humerous
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(sp?), but that's the way it is. Ulna go down easy, however...I was
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bone to be wild!
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Dave
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----------------------------------------
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Dave,
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Lemme a SPLEEN something to you! Just when I thought I was getting a
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LEG up on this pun thing, you go putting your FOOT in your MOUTH!
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I'm more than willing to TOE the line, just so long as you NOSE where
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you stand. As I always say LIVER and let LIVER. Keeping this going
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is HEART enuff as it is. I don't take pleasure IN-TESTINE your pun
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skills, but as LUNG as you're willing to continue, so shall EYE. In
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other words if you wish to continue in this VEIN, then THUMBS up from
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me.
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Ed "...will continue this to-MARROW..."
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----------------------------------------
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Press C to continue.....There's more to come !
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