80 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
80 lines
3.7 KiB
Plaintext
Subject: Frustration -- Party Joke
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(Kinda long, but it makes a good party joke:)
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A small balding <ethnic> storms into a local bar and demands "Gimme a double of
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the strongest whiskey you got! I'm so pissed I can't even see straight!"
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The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear,
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pours him a double of Southern Comfort.
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The <ethnic> swills down the drink and says "Gimme another one!".
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The bartender pours the drink, but says "Now, before I give you this, why don't
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you let off a little steam and tell me why you're so upset?"
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So the <ethnic> begins his tale:
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"Well, I was sitting in the bar next door when this gorgeous blonde slinks in,
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and actually sits beside me at the bar. I thought WOW, this has never happened
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before. You know, it was kind of a fantasy come true. Well, a couple of
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minutes later I feel this hand moving around in my lap and the blonde leans
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over, licks my ear, and asks if I'm interested? I couldn't believe this was
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happening! I managed to nod my head yes, so she grabs my hand, and starts
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walking out of the bar. So of course I went with her. This was just too good
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to be true!"
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"She took me down the street here to a nice hotel and up to her room. As soon
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as she shut the door she slips out of her dress. That was all she was wearing!
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I tell you it didn't take me much longer to get out of my clothes! But as soon
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as I jumped into the bed, I hear some keys jingling, and someone
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starts fumbling with the door."
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The blonde says "Ohmygod, it's my boyfriend. He must have lost his wrestling
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match tonight, he's gonna be real mad! Quick, HIDE!"
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"So, I opened at the closet, but I figured that was probably he first place he
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would look, so I didn't hide there. Then I looked under the bed, but no, I
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figured he's bound to look there, too. By now I could here the key in the lock.
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I noticed the window was open, so I climbed out and was hanging there by my
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fingers praying that the guy wouldn't see me."
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The bartender says "Well I can see how you might be a bit frustrated at this
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point."
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"Well, yeah, but I hear the guy finally get the door open and he yells out 'Who
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you been sleeping with now, bitch?' The girl says 'Nobody, honey, now come to
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bed and calm down'. Well the guy starts tearing up the room. I hear him tear
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the door off the closet and throw it across the room. I'm thinking 'Boy, I'm
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glad I didn't hide in there.' Then I hear him lift up the bed and throw it
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across the room. Good thing I didn't hide under there either."
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"Then I here him say 'What's that over there by the window?' I think 'Oh Shit,
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I'm dead meat now'. But the blond by now is trying real hard to distract him
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and convince him to stop looking."
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"Well, I hear the guy go into the bathroom, and I hear water running for a long
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time, and I figure maybe he's gonna take a bath or something, when all of a
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sudden the asshole pours a pitcher of scalding hot water out of the window right
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on top of my head! I mean look at this, I got second degree burns all over my
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scalp and shoulders!"
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The bartender says, "Oh man, that would have pissed me off for sure."
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"No, that didn't really bother me. Next the guy starts slamming the window shut
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over and over on my hands. I mean, look at my fingers. They're a bloody mess,
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I can hardly hold onto this glass."
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The bartender looks at the guy's hands and says "Yeah, buddy, I can understand
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why you are so upset."
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"No, that wasn't what really pissed me off."
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The bartender then asks in exasperation, "Well, then, what DID finally piss you
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off?"
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"Well I was hanging there, and I turned around and looked down, and I was only
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about 6 inches off the ground!"
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--
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