210 lines
5.7 KiB
Plaintext
210 lines
5.7 KiB
Plaintext
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Have you heard about that new beer called Scud Light?
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It takes 15 to hit you.
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What do you call 3 Iraqi women coming into a room?
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Incoming Scuds!
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What is the difference between an Iraqi woman and a catfish?
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One has wiskers and smells and the other is a fish.
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What do you call an Iraqi with a sheep under each arm?
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A pimp.
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How many Iraqis does it take to eat a opossum?
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3, one to eat and 2 to watch for cars.
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Did you hear they have a new use sheep in Iraq?
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Wool.
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How many Iraqi does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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2001, 1 to screw it in and 2000 to rebuild the
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power plant.
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Why does the Iraqi air force only need half the training
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of US air force?
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They only need to know how to take off.
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What does Saddam Hussain and Fred Flinston have in common?
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When they look out their windows, they both see rumble.
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What did Saddam's mother say when asked if he could lick the bowl?
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Just flush it like everybody else does.
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Why does Iraq have glass bottom ships?
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So they can keep track of their air force.
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What do you have when 2 Iraqi women are in the same room?
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A full set of teeth.
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How do Iraqis play bingo?
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B-52, F-16, A-10, ...
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What does Saddam Hussain and panty hose have in common?
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They both rub a bush the wrong way.
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What do you call an Iraqi with a sheep under one arm and a chicken
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under the other?
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Bisexual.
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Why do they call camels the ships of the desert?
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Because they are full of Iraqi seamen!
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What the difference between Iraqi women and trash?
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Trash gets taken out once a week.
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Why don't Iraqis teach sex ed and drivers ed on the same day?
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They wanted to give the camel a rest.
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Did you hear about the Iraqi that tryed to blow up a bus?
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He kept burning his lips on the tail pipe.
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Did you Iraq has a new name for their air force?
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Skeet!
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What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and an Iraqi tank?
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The vacuum cleaner only has one dirt bag in it.
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What does Saddam and his father have in common?
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They both did not pull out in time.
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What is the usual weather forecast in Iraq?
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Balmy!
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What does Hiroshima, Nagasaki, and Iraq have in common?
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Nothing YET!
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Did you hear that they almost caught Saddam?
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He was in a phone booth dialing 911.
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What do you call an Iraqi artillery spotter?
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CNN
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What do you call an Iraqi with no camels?
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A virgin.
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How can you tell when an Iraqi boy reaches puberty?
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He takes the diaper off his butt and wraps it around
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his head.
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'Twas the Night Before Desert-Storm
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-----------------------------------
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'Twas the night before Desert-Storm
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and all through Iraq
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Not a weapon was stirring
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not even a track.
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When up, in the air,
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there arose such a clatter
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Saddam jumped from bed
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to see what was the matter.
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He whipped up the window,
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threw open the sash -
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And was narrowly missed
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by Iraqi ack-ack!
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And what before his bloodshot eyes
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should ensue,
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But an attack by Eagles,
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and some Tornadoes too.
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In nap-of-the-earth
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the fighters they came.
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They bombed as they went,
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and they kicked ass by name!
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"Hey Mohammed! Hey Abdullah!
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Hey Terik-the-sleaze!
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Here's a Maverick, some Snakeyes,
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napalm if you please!"
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Missile batteries, command posts,
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the pilots zapped them with ease -
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"Who said this was tough?
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With Pave Tack it's a breeze!"
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Then to the palace they turned
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and they let their bombs fly
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All the while screaming
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"Death from the sky!"
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One bomb, it was targeted
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down the chimney and flue-
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Not a mean feat
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with a Mark Eighty-two!
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The windows, they shattered
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the chimney, it fell
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And Saddam cleaned his trousers
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while the bombers raised hell.
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The aircrews yelled back
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as they streaked out of sight,
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"If it makes you feel better
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we'll be bombing all night!"
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This file was compiled by Greg Moore |