104 lines
6.2 KiB
Plaintext
104 lines
6.2 KiB
Plaintext
Before the purple gorrila joke, a short one...
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A five inch man was building his house. He decides to build it from
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bricks. So he figures he'll need 24 bricks to build his house. He goes
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to the store and finds he can only buy them by the dozen! So he buys
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two dozen Bricks. When he's done he doesn't know what to do with the
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last brick! So he thinks and thinks. Then one day, years later, he
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gets a brilliant idea: SO he takes the brick to the front of his house
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and Hurls it up in to the air as hard as he can!!!!!!
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And now for the purple gorrila joke
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Guranteed to be funnier than that one ^^^
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__________
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A little boy and his family move into a new house. The people who used
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to live there told the new family to NEVER EVER go into the wine celler.
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Well, the parents tell the little boy to NEVER EVER EVER go into the
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wine celler. So for about a week the boy ignors the wine cellr, getting
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to know the new neighborhodd and the like. Then one day he remembers
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this and goes down into the basement and looks at the door to the wine
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celler. It looked normal enough so the boy tried the door-knob. Of
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course it had been locked. SO the boy went back to his everyday
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routine, until a month or two later when he found a key in the cupboard
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while searching for cookies. He rememberd the locked door and thought
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it was worth a try. He remembered his parents telling him to NEVER EVER
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EVER EVER go into the wine celler, but he couldn't resist. So he trys
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the key on the door and low and behold it works! He opens the door to a
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gust of dust from the long closed door. It is dark so he has to go back
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upstairs for a flash-light. Finding one he starts down into the wine
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celler. Expecting a room he finds a hallway. He peers down into it,
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finding it goes on for quite a ways. He edges his way down. About ten
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yards along the batteries start to die and the flashlight dims. So he
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goes back through the door, goes upstairs and finds new batteries. Then
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he goes back to the wine celler and starts down the hallway again.
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About twenty yards down he finds another door. Luckily this one is
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unlocked. SO he opens it and finds a stair case! He goes down the
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staircase which ends in another hall way! He goes down the next hall
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way and sees that up ahead it turns left. SO he edges around the corner
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and continues down the hall way. About twenty more yards he finds
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another door. He turns the knob and pulls, but the door only moves
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about an inch or so and jamms. So he goes back down the hall way, turns
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right, goes up the stairs, goes down the next hall way and goes upstairs
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and into the garage. He looks for a crow-bar but realized that it's in
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his dads car. Being only 3:00 aclock he has to wait for his dad to come
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home from work. So when his dad does finally come home he sneaks the
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crow bar out, goes back to the basement and goes back down the first
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hallway, then down the stairs, down the next hallway and around the
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corner. He prys the door open to find that it leads to a great
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underground cavern with a lake and an island in the middle. Luckily
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there;s a boat on the shore so he doesn't have to go back around the
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corner and up the stairs and into the celler and up those stairs and
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into the garage again to find that inflatable raft. So he gets in the
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boat and goes over to the island. While exploring the island he hears
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somting coming through the bushed towards him. Just then a GIANT PURPLE
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GORRILA jumps out at him and roars! The little boy runs for the boat,
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and frantibly rows for the shore, but the purple gorilla is swimming
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after him. He runs through the first door and slams it shut as hard as
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he can, but the purple gorilla bashes through the door. So he runs up
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and around the corner, up the stairs, and slams the wine celler door,
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locking it. He waits, panting. He hears something coming at the door,
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takes a step backwards, and hears the purple gorilla crash at the door.
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But it holds. So the purple gorilla crashes at the door again. BUT IT
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HOLDS! Then the purple gorila, being smart, realizes that it locks from
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the inside and comes through the door! The little boy runs upstairs,
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and out into the yard. The purple gorila chases him. The little boy
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jumps on him bicycle and rides down the street, but the purple gorilla
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chases him! The little boy jumps in a passing car and is driven away.
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BUT THE PURPLE GORILLA CHASES HIM! The little boy gets off at the docks
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and jumps on a ferry, but the purple gorilla chases him! The little boy
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gets on a speed boat, but the purple gorilla chases him. The little boy
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gets on an airplane, flys to a distant island and lives his life as a
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beach bum. Then one day, years later, a purple dot appears on the
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horizen. The little boy climbs a tree, the dot grows bigger, the little
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boy runs into his little shack, the dot growsa closer, the boy runs to
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the other side of the island, the purple gorilla gets to the island and
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chases the boy, he chases him up trees, through his shack and around the
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island. The boy collapses on the beach and awaits the purple gorilla.
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The purple Gorilla runs up to the little boy, taps his head, says"YOUR
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IT!" and swims away.
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--------
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Okay, that was the purple gorilla joke, now a shoter one....
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This lady gets on a plane with her pet poodle. A man sits next to her.
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A few hours into the flight the man lights up a cigarette. The poodle
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starts to cough and weeze. The lady asks the man politly to put out the
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cigarette. He says"I paid for first class and I'm gonna smoke!"
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A few hours later the man lights up another cigarette. The poodle again
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starts to cough and wheeze. SO the lady asks, not so politley, for him
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to put the cigarette out. He again says,"I paid for first class lady,
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and I'm gonna smoke!", so she waits.
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Eventually the man lights up another cigarette. The dog almost chokes
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to death. The lady says,"Listen, I make a deal with you, I'll throw my
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poodle out the window if you will through your cigarette out the
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window.", well the man agrees its a fair bargian and the both toss out
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the window the poodle and the cigarette.
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When the plane lands, the lady gets of the plane and to her surprise the
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poodle is sitting on the wing of the plane! And guess what it has in
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it's mouth???
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The brick.
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