89 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
89 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
Why do elephants wear green suspenders?
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To hold their green pant up, silly.
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Why do elephants wear blue suspenders?
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Because the green ones are in the wash.
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Why do elephants wear polka dotted tennis shoes?
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So they can hide in Candy jars.
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(Did you ever see an elephant hiding in a Candy Jar?
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No!
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See how good they work?)
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Why do elephants wear green pants?
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So they can hide in the treetops in the jungle.
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Why is it not a good idea to walk through the jungle at 4 oclock?
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The elephants are jumping out of the trees then.
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Why are pygmies so short?
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They walk through the jungle at 4 oclock.
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Why do ducks have flat feet?
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So they can stomp out forest fires.
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Why do elephants have flat feet?
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So they can stomp out flaming ducks.
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When do elephants ever see flaming ducks?
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Usually at 4 oclock...
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How do pygmies hunt elephants?
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They run through the forest about 4 o'clock lighting ducks on fire...
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What's the black stuff between elephants toes???
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Slow pygmies!!!
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Why do elephants paint their toenails red???
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So they can hide in strawberry patches!!!
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Why did the elephant buy tennies???
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Because 9-E's were too small and 12-E's were too big!!!
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How can you tell if an elephant been in the refrigerator?
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By the footprints in the butter.
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What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant in the back of a Volkswagen?
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Getting an elephant pregnant in the back of a Volkswagen.
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How do you make an elephant stew?
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Keep him waiting a couple of hours.
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How do you know when a pygmie is making stew?
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She doesn't let the kids light the ducks until 6.
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How do you know if an elephant is having a period?
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Your mattress is missing.
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What is grey and comes in quarts?
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An elephant
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Why do elephants paint their nuts red?
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So they can hide in apple trees.
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How did the pygmy die if he wasn't running through the jungle at 4pm?
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He was picking apples at 4 in the morning!
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What's grey, has big ears, and a trunk?
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A mouse going on a vacation! (elephant would have been too easy)
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What has 3 webbed feet, 4 wings, and 2 bills?
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A duck with spare parts.
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Tarzan and his pet elephant, Simon, were taking a bath one day, when Simon
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turnes to Tarzan, and said "How do you breath through that thing?"
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Why are there no sheep in Africa?
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The elephants use them for tampons.
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What's the Number one killer of African Elephants?
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Toxic Flock Syndrome.
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