103 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
103 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
From rec.humor.funny Tue Apr 23 09:22:25 1991
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Path: sol.UVic.CA!news.UVic.CA!ubc-cs!van-bc!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!usc!elroy.jpl.nasa.gov!decwrllooking!funny-request
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From: p1@arkham.wimsey.bc.ca (Rob Slade)
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Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
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Subject: Pre-release announcement of XDOS7 (religion)
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Keywords: original, computer, offense=religious, chuckle
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Message-ID: <S265.5ce8@looking.on.ca>
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Date: 22 Apr 91 10:30:04 GMT
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Organization: Chez Cthulhu +1 604 983 3546 "Caterers to the Elder Gods"
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Lines: 68
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Approved: funny@looking.on.ca
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The Universal Society of Ethics Religion and Spirituality today made a
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pre-release announcement of the Christian Deity Ontological System
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version 7.0 (XDOS 7.0), commonly known as Christianity 7. The release
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(expected 1 Q '00) is eagerly awaited in many quarters. Analysts have
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been predicting the new version on the basis of comparatively poor
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performance in recent years against religions from other vendors.
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The last major version of Christianity, released in the mid 1750's,
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was made primarily active only one day per week, in compliance with
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the major social architectures of the day. The "Sunday School"
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feature made it vastly popular. The new "evangelism" module, the most
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effective since the "mission" variant of Christianity 3 in the 800's,
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made release 6.0 and its variants one of the most powerful programs
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available at the time.
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Christianity 6.0 was, however, made backward compatible with previous
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versions. 5.0 had been targetted at primarily agrarian architectures
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and therefore, while the program was structurally compatible with
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active users, the program did not disallow passive types. While this
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was attractive to users with large volumes of physical input offline,
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it was less well suited to a sedentary population. As the social
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architecture moved towards more static cycle times, many complained
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that Christianity 6 had serious "downtime" problems.
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According to the Society's announcement, Christianity 7 will abandon
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compatibility of the user interface, although strict data and
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functional compatibility will be maintained. Previous versions were
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based primarily on batch input, and users with buffers of insufficient
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size often dealt with input problems, due to the lack of an
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implemented flow control, by rejecting all input in excess of the
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buffer size. This meant that the same batch input could be recycled as
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new input several times, and it often was. While this was acceptable
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to most users, those with faster platforms found it difficult to deal
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with. Over several releases, many of those wishing greater input had
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addressed the matter by "piping" input from several sources at once,
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but latterly users had been vociferous in their complaints regarding
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the bottleneck, and many simply abandoned the program for systems with
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greater input options.
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The new user interface is stated to be much more interactive. As
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well, the user will have greater responsibility for the overall
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performance of the system. In the past, most system maintenance was
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done either by the vendor or by specially trained system
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administrators. As neither the vendors nor the administrators were
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able to work directly with applications on the system, requests for
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user support were often answered vaguely, if at all. The Society is
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calling for more training centres dedicated to user applications
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training rather than more training for system administrators. (It is
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interesting to note that this type of training was widely available in
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the late 1700's and early 1800's; the pinnacle of activity for release
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6.)
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Because of this radical change in interface, the Society is calling
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for assistance from both users and interface design experts in drawing
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up the specific features for the layout. All submissions are to be
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directed to:
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Slade, Robert - INtegrity!SUZY, or Robert_Slade@mtsg.sfu.ca, or Robert
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Slade, 3118 Baird Road, North Vancouver, B.C. V7K 2G6
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(c) Robert Slade 1990
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--
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Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
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Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
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Remember: Always give your jokes a descriptive "Subject:" line.
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So many people use "joke" or "submission" like I was expecting something else?
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