153 lines
3.2 KiB
Batchfile
153 lines
3.2 KiB
Batchfile
From: Charlie_Gibbs@mindlink.bc.ca (Charlie Gibbs)
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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers
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Date: 29 Apr 91 02:35:49 GMT
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Subj: Fun with UNIX
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| Some humorous things to do to a UNIX system:
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| >From the csh (c shell):
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| % make love
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| Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
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| % got a light?
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| No match.
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| % sleep with me
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| bad character
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| % man: Why did you get a divorce?
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| man:: Too many arguments.
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| % rm God
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| rm: God nonexistent
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| % make 'heads or tails of all this'
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| Make: Don't know how to make heads or tails of all this. Stop.
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| % make sense
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| Make: Don't know how to make sense. Stop.
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| % make mistake
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| Make: Don't know how to make mistake. Stop.
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| % make bottle.open
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| Make: Don't know how to make bottle.open. Stop.
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| % \(-
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| (-: Command not found.
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| % rm -i God
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| rm: remove God? y
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| % ls God
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| God not found
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| % make light
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| Make: Don't know how to make light. Stop.
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| % date me
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| You are not superuser: date not set
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| Thu Aug 25 15:52:30 PDT 1988
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| % man rear
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| No manual entry for rear.
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| % If I had a ) for every dollar Reagan spent, what would I have?
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| Too many )'s.
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| % * How would you describe George Bush
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| *: Ambiguous.
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| % %Vice-President
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| %Vice-President: No such job.
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| % ls Meese-Ethics
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| Meese-Ethics not found
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| % "How would you rate Reagan's senility?
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| Unmatched ".
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| % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
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| Missing ].
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| % ^How did the^sex change operation go?
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| Modifier failed.
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| % cp /dev/null sex;chmod 000 sex
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| % more sex
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| sex: Permission denied
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| % mv sex show
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| % strip show
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| strip: show: Permission denied
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| % who is my match?
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| No match.
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| % set i="Democratic_Platform";mkdir $i;chmod 000 $i;ls $i
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| Democratic_Platform unreadable
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| % awk "Polly, the ship is sinking"
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| awk: syntax error near line 1
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| awk: bailing out near line
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| % %blow
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| %blow: No such job.
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| % 'thou shalt not commit adultery'
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| thou shalt not commit adultery: Command not found.
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| And from the bourne shell (sh):
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| $ drink < bottle;opener
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| bottle: cannot open
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| opener: not found
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| $ test my argument
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| test: too many arguments
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| $ "Amelia Earhart"
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| Amelia Earhart: not found
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| $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
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| no sense in pretending!
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| $ man -kisses dog
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| dog: nothing appropriate
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| $ mkdir "Yellow Pages";fiYellow Pages
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| $ mkdir matter;cat > matter
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| matter: cannot create
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| $ lost
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| lost: not found
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| $ found
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| found: not found
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| $ i=Hoffa ;>$i ;$i ;rm $i ;rm $i
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| Hoffa: cannot execute
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| rm: Hoffa nonexistent
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| The following are ones that I can't get to work on my BSD 4.3, so I suppose
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| that they are stuff from ATT SysV or some other such:
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| % strip bra
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| bra: Cannot open
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| % sccs what bottle
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| can't open bottle (26)
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| $ cat "door: paws too slippery"
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| can't open door: paws too slippery
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| $ cat food_in_tin_cans
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| cat: can't open food_in_tin_cans
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Whenever I sense someone looking over my shoulder I type in one of
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the above. And, of course, I keep a file in my home directory called
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README which contains the following line for snoopers:
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cat: README: not found
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