60 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
60 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
From: anonymous@somewhere.bigcomputerfirm.com (R)
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Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
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Subject: The Burroughs/Sperry Merger Song
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Date: 12 Aug 90 23:30:05 GMT
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--------------- The Burroughs/Sperry (now Unisys) Merger Song -----------
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(to the tune of the "Battle Hymn of the Republic")
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Mine eyes have seen the glory of the merger come to pass.
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It has taken two expanding firms and knocked them on their ass.
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It has given all the customers heartburn and lots of gas.
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And the stocks started going down.
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Glory, glory, what a merger.
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Glory, glory, what a merger.
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Glory, glory, what a merger.
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And the stocks keep going down.
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I have seen the speculation of the great things yet to come.
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Like software without source code that will never fail to run.
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And promises of hardware where our real work can get done.
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But the stocks keep going down.
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They have bet the ranch on Unix as the future's tidal wave.
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And they're counting on the Unix sales to try to help them save,
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Their relationship with Wall Street where investors won't behave.
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And the stocks keep going down.
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I have seen the teams of experts crawling all around our site.
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With assurances that they will fix the things that aren't quite right.
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And it only took them half a year to straighten out our plight.
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But the stocks keep going down.
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I have seen them lay off thousands just to "turn the ship around"
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But they kept the chief executive and rumors did abound.
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And the crew below the decks could hear the waters gurgling sound.
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And the stocks kept going down.
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Perhaps this year their factories will get stuff off the line.
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And perhaps the distribution group will ship it out on time.
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And perhaps the stuff will really work when we bring it all online.
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Or the stocks will still go down.
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And now the architect who brought this wonderous thing about.
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Has moved into the banking world, where without a doubt
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He will give the financiers good cause to dance and sing and shout,
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As the stocks keep going down.
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So now lets toast Jim Unruh and award him our respect.
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And hope he's not the captain standing on the deck
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Of the ship known as the Titanic, just before its icy wreck.
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Or we'll all be going down.
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Well, I guess it's clear that there is really nothing more to say.
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Except we hope this company is facing brighter days.
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So let's get our buts in gear, and update our resumes.
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As the stocks keep going down.
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