textfiles/humor/COMPUTER/tex.use
2021-04-15 13:31:59 -05:00

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A portrait of the TeX novice/user/hacker/...
Novice:
* Uses LaTeX because his friends told him to.
* Creates vertical space via
\hfil\break\hfil\break\hfil\break\hfil\break
or $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ [or the LaTeX equivalent]
* Lines up tables with \ \ \ \ \ \ .
* Uses ... instead of \dots, \ldots, and \cdots.
* Types $log \, x$ instead of $\log x$.
* Has heard of macros but has never seen one.
* Uses grouping but doesn't understand why.
* Responds to every TeX error with `e'.
* Isn't sure whether Leslie Lamport is a man or a woman.
* Wonders why everybody thinks TeX is so cool.
User:
* Likes LaTeX.
* Religiously inserts ties everywhere Chapter 14 tells him to.
* Frequently puts punctuation marks on the wrong side of the $ sign.
* Leaves math mode to get math operators that aren't built in.
For example, $f \in$ Hom $(A, B)$.
* Has written small style files that change parameters.
* Writes a `boldface' macro as \long\def\boldface#1{{\bf#1}}
* Wonders why \def\thing1{...} \def\thing2{...} \thing1 doesn't work.
* Immediately asks, ``How can I make TeX larger?'' every time he
gets a `TeX capacity exceeded' error.
* Doesn't understand why \verb is so fragile.
* Has heard of catcodes but has never seen one.
Hacker:
* Has given up on LaTeX because it's too confining.
* Has written his own macro packages, but they sometimes produce
unwanted spaces in the output.
* Writes a \boldface macro as \def\beginboldface{\bgroup\bf}
\def\endboldface{\egroup}
* Understands catcodes but has trouble changing them.
* Understands why \verb is so fragile, but doesn't know how to get
around it.
* Uses \futurelet, but sparingly.
* Can produce tables, but has trouble with ruled tables.
* Has read the single-dangerous bends in the TeXbook and tried to
read the double-dangerous bends with mixed success.
* Answers LaTeX questions by reading the LaTeX book.
Wizard:
* Understands the \tabalign macros in plain.tex.
* Uses \@ne and \tw@ instead of `1 ' and `2 ' in his macro packages.
* Omits the `=' from assignment statements.
* Uses \futurelet and \aftergroup without hesitation.
* Writes macro packages where nearly half of the punctuation characters
are \active.
* Writes macros that define macros.
* Writes a `boldface' macro via \def\boldface{\bgroup\bf\let\next}
* Can create ruled tables on the fly.
* Answers LaTeX questions by typing `more latex.tex'.
* Has corrected errors in the TeXbook.
* Has studied the source code to TeX but doesn't understand it all.
Guru:
* Has fixed bugs in TeX.
* Debugs other people's macro packages.
* Writes macro packages for plain text files, so that a simple
\input macros
\input file.txt
produces nicely formatted output.
* Understands the LaTeX font selection scheme.
* Answers LaTeX questions before you ask them.
* Is on a first-name basis with Don and Leslie.
(and Michael [Spivak]? Barbara [Beeton]?)