67 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
67 lines
3.4 KiB
Plaintext
From BRIAN%nuacc.bitnet@rutgers.edu Tue Jun 7 19:32:14 1988
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Flags: 000000000001
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From: BRIAN%nuacc.bitnet@rutgers.edu (Brian Wilson)
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Subject: Worth a small chuckle.
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Keywords: original, chuckle, heard it
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Date: 7 Jun 88 20:32:14 GMT
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Selecting a Programming Language Made Easy
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Daniel Solomon & David Rosenblueth
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Department of Computer Science, University of Waterloo
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Waterloo, Ontario, Canada N2L 3G1
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With such a large selection of programming languages it can be
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difficult to choose one for a particular project. Reading the manuals to
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evaluate the languages is a time consuming process. On the other hand,
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most people already have a fairly good idea of how various automobiles
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compare. So in order to assist those trying to choose a language, we
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have prepared a chart that matches programming languages with comparable
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automobiles.
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Assembler - A Formula I race car. Very fast, but difficult to drive and
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expensive to maintain.
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FORTRAN II - A Model T Ford. Once it was king of the road.
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FORTRAN IV - A Model A Ford.
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FORTRAN 77 - A six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and
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no seat belts.
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COBOL - A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly, but it does the work.
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BASIC - A second-hand Rambler with a rebuilt engine and patched
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upholstry. Your dad bought it for you to learn to drive.
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You'll ditch the car as soon as you can afford a new one.
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PL/I - A Cadillac convertible with automatic transmission, a two-
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tone paint job, white-wall tires, chrome exhaust pipes, and
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fuzzy dice hanging in the windshield
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C - A black Firebird, the all-macho car. Comes with optional
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seat belts (lint) and optional fuzz buster (escape to
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assembler).
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ALGOL 60 - An Austin Mini. Boy, that's a small car.
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Pascal - A Volkswagon Beetle. It's small but sturdy. Was once
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popular with intellectuals.
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Modula II - A Volkswagon Rabbit with a trailer hitch.
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ALGOL 68 - An Astin Martin. An impressive car, but not just anyone
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can drive it.
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LISP - An electric car. It's simple but slow. Seat belts are not
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available.
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PROLOG/LUCID - Prototype concept-cars.
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Maple/MACSYMA - All-terrain vehicles.
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FORTH - A go-cart.
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LOGO - A kiddie's replica of a Rolls Royce. Comes with a real
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engine and a working horn.
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APL - A double-decker bus. Its takes rows and columns of
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passengers to the same place all at the same time. But, it
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drives only in reverse gear, and is instrumented in Greek.
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Ada - An army-green Mercedes-Benz staff car. Power steering,
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power brakes and automatic transmission are all standard.
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No other colors or options are available. If it's good
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enough for the generals, it's good enough for you.
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Manufacturing delays due to difficulties reading the
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design specification are starting to clear up.
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--
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Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes to {watmath|att}!looking!funny .
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One joke per submission, with descriptive "Subject:" and no form feeds, please!
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Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing.
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