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From ajs@hpfcajs.UUCP Wed Apr 12 16:31:05 1989
From: ajs@hpfcajs.UUCP
Subject: place.1
Reply-Path: rutgers!hplabs.hp.com!hpfcla!hpfcajs!ajs
Written by Alan Silverstein, Hewlett Packard, circa 1983:
PLACE(1) Parody Systems PLACE(1)
NAME
place - print and set the system location
SYNOPSIS
place [ [-v] [-]ddmmss[-]dddmmss ] [ +format ]
DESCRIPTION
If no argument is given, or if the argument begins with
``+'', the current location (latitude and longitude) are
printed. Otherwise, the current location is set by
teleporting the system. The first dd is the degrees of
latitude (negative for south); mm is the minutes of
latitude; ss is the seconds of latitude. The second ddd is
the degrees of longitude (negative for west); and so on.
For example:
place 385100-1050300
sets the location of the system to the top of Pikes Peak,
Colorado. The correct altitude is automatically provided
and cannot be specified. The system operates in feet.
Place takes care of the conversion to and from local
standard measurement units.
When a new location is set, all logged-in terminals and
users are transported along with all other system
peripherals.
If the -v (verbose) option is specified when a new location
is set, place prints a running description of the locations
the system passes through enroute to the given destination.
Note that this can slow down transport time considerably,
from instantaneous to however long it takes to print the
description to standard output. This option is not
recommended if stdout is a terminal connected at less than
4800 baud, since hitting BREAK can leave the system
stranded.
Attempting to set the place off-planet generates a warning,
and requires an extra confirmation from the (super)user.
If the argument begins with ``+'', the output of place is
under the control of the user. The format for the output is
similar to that of date(1). All output fields which use
hours, minutes, or seconds are applicable (substitute
"degrees" for hours, where appropriate).
Place writes an accounting record on the file /usr/adm/wtmp.
DIAGNOSTICS
No permission If you aren't the super-user and you try to
move the system.
bad conversion If the place set is syntactically incorrect,
or below sea level.
bad format character
If the field descriptor is not recognizable.
FILES
/dev/kmem
/usr/adm/wtmp
/usr/lib/altitudes
AUTHOR
Alan Silverstein, Hewlett-Packard
SEE ALSO
date(1), whereami(1)
BUGS
If there is not a supply of compatible electric power at the
new location, the system usually crashes before place
finishes writing accounting information to /usr/adm/wtmp.
This command should not be used on systems connected to a
Local Area Network, for obvious reasons.
--
Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to funny@looking.UUCP
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I will reply, mailers willing.
If you MUST reply to a rejection, include a description of your joke
because there is 0 chance I will remember which one it was.