textfiles/humor/COMPUTER/ollie1.hum
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Following is a highly classified document of an intergovernmental
electronic communication. Only those NSCBBS users who have received
security clearance (Part XXVIIa, sect. 4953Z86.1101) are authorized to
view this highly sensitive material.
If you do not have Global Quickscan and Teleportation privileges on this
board please hit "N" immediately!
[transcript follows]:
LOGIN: _________________
Password: jellybean
Checking security authorization...
Clearance secured -
THIS IS A TOP SECRET NATIONAL SECURITY INTELLIGENCE TELECOMMUNICATION DATA
TRANSFER NETWORK SYSTEM.
Please use a different password here than you do on other systems.
WELCOME, OLLIE!
Waking up Mr. Mailman!.....
You have mail waiting!
Read it now (Y/N)? Y
Msg#: 114539 [Seq#10683AZ3.3] Subj: DEL *.* (Y/N)?
From: FAWN Date: 11/25/86 03:01:26.55
Sweetie -- Hi, when're ya gettin back, lover? I've been up all night
trying to find the stuff you're talkin' about. Ya know, the phrases
"Bonzo ok'd" and "give to R/W party" show up on SEARCH all over the
friggin' system!
Oh, some guy named Pete Norton (?) keeps calling, says he thinks he can
help "if the price is right." What party does he belong to?
Loved seeing you in the new leather uniform! Bye, FH
p.s. Ya see, I told you, size isn't everything.
Command?: A)uto reply K)ill D)iskwipe S)hred > D
.......wiped.
Msg#: 114576 [Seq#10613RR2.6] Subj: Drug Abuse
From: BONZO Date: 11/26/86 08:00:00.00
Ollie: Aaa, uhh, have you had any luck, aaa, getting me s'more stuff? My
stash is low. I mean, you said the contras have plenty, and we're payin'
'em good. Need more stuff. That's an order! Wait, what was I talking
about....I forget.. RR
Command?: A)uto reply K)ill D)iskwipe S)hred I)gnore > I
............aaa, ignored.
Main Menu -> E,P,D,R,Q,C,CA,A,M,S,X,H,? >D
Divert Funds: T)o F)rom A)ll N)ew > F
FROM: I)ran C)ontras S)wiss account (# req.) M)oney market acct. > C
Enter amount to divert (millions) > 40.6
===> sorry Ollie, Jose says "manana, sucker."
FROM: I)ran C)ontras S)wiss account (# req.) M)oney market acct. > C
Enter amount to divert (millions) > 29.9
TO -> M,Y,R,C,W,X,NR,Q,S > C
Enter name of Conservative cause -> Born Again for Freedom and Goodness
Wait.....funds diverted. How else may I help you today, sir?
Main Menu -> E,P,D,R,Q,C,CA,A,M,S,X,H,? >G
Bye, Ollie (another fine mess you've...), and thanks for calling!
w<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Z<01>EUUUUUUUUUUUUU
81N CODEBREAKER............861-6795-....1200 N81N PEOPLE LINKS...........877-4290-....1200 N81N MAR....................877-6269-....1200 N81N *MMM*..................879-5182-....1200 N81N GENESIS NETWORK........879-7293-....1200 N81N MICRO CONNECT..........884-3950-....1200 N81N PC-SERVE...............348-2049-....1200 N81N PC COMMUNICA