textfiles/humor/COMPUTER/infohum.hum

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Written and Distributed by:
The Vault AE Line! {218} 724-4210
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::: :::
::: INFOCOM Humour :::
::: :::
::: For Your Amusement :::
::: :::
::*:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::*::
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After you've completed the adventure,
you may be interested in trying some of
the following.
_______________________________________
[]: ZORK I :[]
Have you ever...
...Opened the grating from beneath
while the leaves were still on it?
...Tried swearing at Zork?
...Waved the sceptre while standing
on the rainbow?
...Burned the black book?
...Damaged the painting?
...Lit the candles with the torch?
...Read the matchbook?
...Tried to take yourself? (or the
thief, troll, or cyclops?)
...Tried cutting things with the knife
or the sword?
...Poured water onto something burning?
...Said "WAIT" or "SCORE" while dead?
...Tried anything naughty with the
bodies in Hades?
_______________________________________
[]: ZORK II :[]
Have you ever tried...
...Setting off the bomb in the dusty
room and then waiting in the balloon
tied to the ledge?
...Petting or killing Cerberus after
putting on his collar?
...Attacking the princess?
...Waiting around the topiary?
...Repeatedly entering or looking at
the wizard's quarters?
...Giving something to the robot?
...Casting spells on a gnome?
...Remaining in the vault with the
curtain door closed?
...Giving the bomb to the dragon,
wizard, lizard, or gnomes?
...Getting killed after freeing the
demon?
...Saying "HELLO" to the various
characters in the game?
...Asking the robot to read or eat
the cakes?
...Pointing the wand at yourself?
...Putting a coin in the well and
making a wish?
_______________________________________
[]: ZORK III :[]
Have you ever...
...Said "HELLO" to the man at the
cliff?
...Tried to throw anything from the
cliff at the man?
...Tried to repeatedly examine the
key?
...Gone to the museum entrance or the
jewel room in 777?
...Moved the temporizer to one of the
other rooms in 776 and left it
there, and then read the plaque in
948?
...Listened to the guards or the
dedication through the museum door?
...Looked into the mirror or knocked
on the dungeon door while invisible?
...Tried to walk through the swamp or
quicksand?
...Burned the staff, book, tree, or
grue repellent can?
_______________________________________
[]: SUSPENDED :[]
Have you tried...
...Attacking the people with the wire
cutter?
...Asking the robots to kiss one
another?
...Having Auda hang around with the
people while they wait for the car?
...Having Poet look while he's in the
same room as Fred?
...Turning all the hydroponics levers
down to zero?
...Having Poet describe each of the
other robots?
...Having Whiz ask about Gregory
Franklin?
...Having Auda go to the activities
area and wait for the people to get
there after they fix the acid leak?
...Having all the robots read the
plaque in the sterilization chamber?
_______________________________________
[]: ENCHANTER :[]
Have you tried...
...Writing on spell scrolls with the
pencil?
...Casting the Kulcad spell on
everything remotely magical?
...Leading the adventurer or the
turtle onto the winding stairs?
...Reading all the signs along the
long road to the west of the fork?
...Casting the Cleesh spell on Krill,
the adventurer, yourself, or the
guards?
...Casting the blorb spell on either
yourself or the adventurer?
...Listening to the guards'
conversation while in the cell?
...Casting the Guncho spell on
everything that moves?
...Talking to or befriending the
dragon or the guards in the cell?
...Sleeping outside the grounds of
the castle?
...Using Zifmia to summon Belboz,
the implementers, Entharion, Krill,
or the Terror?
...Giving something to the adventurer
after he says "HELLO, SAILOR!"?
_______________________________________
[]: DEADLINE :[]
Have you tried...
...Having the ladder analyzed after
noon?
...Smelling, tasting, or trying to eat
the various drugs?
...Swimming in the lake, taking a
shower, or flushing the toilet?
...Looking in the toilet or the
bathroom mirror?
...Smelling the sugar?
...Saying "FIND DUFFY"?
...Typing "SCORE"?
...Arresting Duffy?
...Kissing anyone?
...Jumping from the balcony?
...Following, arresting, accusing,
or confronting an inanimate object?
...Waiting until a time earlier in the
day?
...Squeezing or turning on any of the
characters?
...Saying "FOLLOW MR. ROBNER"?
...Eating George's red herring?
...Taking or counting the silverware?
...Eating the grapes, berries, or the
fruit?
...Drinking George's scotch or bourbon
twice?
_______________________________________
[]: STARCROSS :[]
Have you ever...
...Touched the Starcross controls
after the course is set?
...Taken the spacesuit off in space?
...Said "HELLO" to the Starcross
computer, or asked it to kill you?
...Watched the docking of the
Starcross with the Artifact while
floating in space?
...Tried dropping anything or jumping
while on the outer surface of the
artifact?
...Shot the mechanical mouse, or
watched it try to enter a warren or
climb a tree?
...Tried climbing down the hole in the
garbage?
...Stepped on one disk while holding
the other?
_______________________________________
[]: INFIDEL :[]
Have you ever tried...
...Sitting on the crate?
...Attacking the crate with the pick
axe?
...Praying?
...Dropping objects into the
bottomless pit?
...Trying to do any of the following
to yourself: EAT, DRINK, KILL, FIND,
TAKE, EXAMINE, RUB, PLAY, GET ON,
CLEAN, CLOSE, DROP, FOLLOW, SEARCH,
SMELL, MAKE, or WEAR?
...Drinking repeatedly from the Nile?
...Reading the matchbook?
...Reading the coupon?
...Filling out the coupon?
...Sending the coupon?
...Swimming?
...Wandering endlessly through the
desert?
...Folding the cot while still in it?
...Sleeping on the cot outside your
tent?
...Walking the plank?
...Waving at the plane?
...Filling the canteen with sand,
emptying it, filling it with water,
and taking a drink?
_______________________________________
[]: PLANETFALL :[]
Have you tried...
...Scrubbing the slime?
...Reading the graffiti in the brig?
...Attacking, talking to, or throwing
something at Blather?
...Attacking or talking to the
ambassador?
...Eating the celery?
...Touching, eating, smelling, or
looking at the slime?
...Looking under the table in the
mess hall?
...Examining the games and tapes in
the rec area?
...Removing your uniform while Blather
or Floyd are present?
...Scrubbing yourself?
...Kicking, attacking, rubbing, or
kissing Floyd?
...Reading your chronometer?
...Taking off your chronometer or
pouring acid on it?
...Giving Floyd Lazarus's breast
plate?
..."Stealing" the lower elevator access
card from Floyd and then showing it
to him?
...Destroying the mural?
...Reading the towel?
...Getting into bed in the infirmary?
...Throwing acid at the mutants?
(>Receive:
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