textfiles/humor/COMPUTER/ieee.defs

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Time for some serious business. From the current issue of IEEE Communications
Magazine:
propagation delay: gestation period
rise time: interval between pay increases
flip-flop: unpopular reverse side of hit record
exclusive-OR: mistress
lookahead adder: farsighted snake
decade counter: the grim reaper
automatic gain control: wage and price regulations
balanced modulator: mezzo-soprano on a tightrope
line receiver: victim of fraud
line driver: perpetrator of fraud
dynamic RAM: a lothario of the pasture
sync period: boat warranty time
hex inverter: device for witch countermeasures
multiplexer: situation causing many worries
one-shot: unreliable weapon
rectifier: ombudsman
jump instruction: order to paratrooper
load resistor: teetotaller
plan position indicator: Kama Sutra
relaxation oscillator: vibra-bed
UART: thou are
I/O bus: seven dwarfs' transportation
heat shrink: tropical psychiatrist
PROM: high school dance
parity bit: union bargaining gimmick
p-type junction: crossroads with comfort station
two bit latch: cheap lock
integrated circuit: nonrace track
discrete device: little white lie
transient suppression: anti-vagrancy law
square wave: conventional hair style
four terminal network: small railway company
low pass: indecent proposition
disk crash: UFO accident
hex code: witchcraft standards
push-down stack: a romp in the hay
floppy disk: tired UFO
binary loader: double Scotch
core dump: orchard compost heap
indirect addressing: post office box
memory management: brainwashing
common collector: ordinary garbage man
log amplifier: tree fertilizer
full duplex: overcrowded tenement
power connection: friend in high places
power switch: change in government
delayed trigger: loser in gunfight
monostable: for one horse
twisted pair: the odd couple
stripline: queue outside The Condor
antenna coupling: insect foreplay
screwdriver adjustment: additional vodka
long term drift: Kon-Tiki expedition
burn-in: pyromaniac convention
output impedance: work stoppage
megahertz: large car rental company
dedicated computer: loyal accountant
base drive: primitive motivation
transformer: successful evangelist
pulse delay: cardiac arrest
Johnson counter: Howard's cafeteria
current mode logic: contemporary fad in mathematics
phase lock: frozen expression
delay line: debtor's story
semiconductor: part time railwayman
disk drive: slap shot
subroutine: undersea maneuvers
baud rates: libertine fee schedule
CMOS: undersea vegetation
bonding wire: cheap wedding ring
battery charger: assault case prosecutor
slip ring: counterfeit negligee organization
standard cell: ordinary prison accomodation
vidicon: TV commercial
data extractor: census taker
banana plug: fruit marketing board advertisement
crimp termination: death by strangulation
truth table: torture rack
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^_