61 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
61 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how
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to drive. Imagine if they did ...
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---
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HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
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Customer: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
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HelpLine: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"
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Customer: "What's an ignition?"
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HelpLine: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery
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and turns over the engine."
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Customer: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to
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know all these technical terms just to use my car?"
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---
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HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
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Customer: "My car ran fine for a week and now it won't go anywhere!"
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HelpLine: "Is the gas tank empty?"
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Customer: "Huh? How do I know?"
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HelpLine: "There's a little gauge on the front panel with a needle and
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markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?"
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Customer: "It's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"
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HelpLine: "It means you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase
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some more gasoline. You can install it yourself or pay the
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vendor to install it for you."
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Customer: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I
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have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes
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with everything built in!"
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---
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HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
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Customer: "Your cars suck!"
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HelpLine: "What's wrong?"
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Customer: "It crashed, that's what wrong!"
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HelpLine: "What were you doing?"
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Customer: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the
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way to the floor. It worked for a while and then it crashed and
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it won't start now!
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HelpLine: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you
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expect us to do about it?"
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Customer: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't
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crash any more!"
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---
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HelpLine: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"
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Customer: "Hi, I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it
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has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering,
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power brakes, and power door locks."
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HelpLine: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
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Customer: "How do I work it?"
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HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
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Customer: "Do I know how to what?"
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HelpLine: "Do you know how to drive?"
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Customer: "I'm not a technical person. I just want to go places in my car!"
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sebastian
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singe@outer.net
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