72 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
72 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
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<From: TKENNETT@BENTLEY.EDU>
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Getting to Know Your Computer
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A Short Glossary of Computer Terms
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Analog Hors d'oeuvre, usually made from cheese and covered with
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crushed nuts.
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Back-up Current data errors that have been saved for future use.
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See Database Back-up or File Back-up.
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Binary Possessing the ability to have friends of both sexes.
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Bit 12 1/2 cents ($.125).
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Buffer Programmer who works in the nude.
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Bug Any type of insect.
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Byte Painful wound inflicted by dogs, snakes, children etc.
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Coding An addictive drug.
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Compile A heap of decomposing vegetable matter.
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Computer A device used to speed and automate errors.
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Control Character Any person who has money to spend for any reason.
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Crash A Normal Termination.
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Cursor An Expert in four-letter words.
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Database A special medium used to store errors, so that they can be
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processed and printed many times by the computer system.
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Sometimes called Input File or Data file.
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Debugging Activities necessary to remove insects from any area where
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they are not wanted.
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Diskette A mobile accessory to transsfer and to store errors.
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Downtime The time in which the computer rests while you sink into
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the lower depths of depression.
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(Downtime typically takes place while you are in the middle
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of your most important work on the computer.).
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Drive A hardware part were errors are loaded from diskettes.
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The moment the drive's led is on can be described as the
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computer's orgasm.(the noise indicate it too!)
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Errors The normal result of running a computer system.
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Hardcoded Computer program code that has been allowed to dry.
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Hardware 1. Boots, leather, studs, spikes and such.
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2. The parts of a computer which can be kicked.
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Keyboard An instrument used for entering errors into the system
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quickly.
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Logic Orderly path always followed by programs & errors.
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Loop See Loop.
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Maintenance Activities necessary to ensure that the system continues
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to produce errors and delay work efficiently.
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Never-Never Land 1. Place where no one grows up.
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2. Place where programs love to go.
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-It is also called the Twilight Zone
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Password The nonsense word taped to your terminal.
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Printer A device that prints computer errors on paper.
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RAM A male sheep.
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Reset A button located on the computer's body,which make easier the
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"trip" of the programs to the Never-never land.
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It is conssidered as the only way of avoiding errors.
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ROM 1. A Ram after a delicate operation.
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2. What programs do in Never-Never Land.
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Screen The part of the computer where the errors are seen for the
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first time. It is also the part programmers love to break the
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most.The most inginous and smart feature of the Screen is that
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it can be turned off.
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Software 1. Silk nighties, nylons, teddies etc.
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2. Parts of computer that can not be kicked.
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Sometime Those occasions when a computer error message can be
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interpreted and understood.
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Security A feature of computer system access which helps prevent
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the mis-use (or proper use) of the system.
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Table-Lookup A piece of furniture that has been attached to the
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ceiling.
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Turbo A mode in which the computer compiles the errors faster. It
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sometimes may help the programs to reach the NeverNever land.
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Uptime The time in which a computer works & produces errors quickly
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and efficiently.
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