textfiles/humor/COMPUTER/exam
2021-04-15 13:31:59 -05:00

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Qualifying Examination
for Co-Sysop Access
Instructions: Read each question
carefully. Answer ALL questions! Time
limit - 4 hours. Begin immediately.
HISTORY. Describe the history of the
papacy from its origins to the present
day, concentrating especially, but no
exclusively, on its social, political,
economic, religious and philosophical
impact on Europe, Asia, America, and
Africa. Be brief, concise, and
specific.
MEDICINE. You have been provided with
a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and
bottle of Scotch. Remove your
appendix. Do not suture until your
work has been inspected. You have
fifteen minutes.
PUBLIC SPEAKING. There are 2,500
riot-crazed aborigines storming the
classroom. Calm them. You may use any
ancient language, except Latin or
Greek.
BIOLOGY. Create life. Esitmate the
difference in subsequent human culture
if this form of life had developed 500
million years earlier, with special
attention to its probable effect on
the English parliamentary system.
Prove your thesis.
MUSIC. Write a piano concerto.
Orchestrate and perform it with flute
and drum. You will find a piano under
your seat.
PSYCHOLOGY. Based on your knowledge of
their works, evaluate the emotional
stability, degree of adjustment and
repressed frustrations of each of the
following: Alexander II of Macedon,
Ramses II, Gregory of Nyssa and
Hammurabi. Support your evaluation
with quotations from each man's work,
making appropriate notations. It is
not necessary to translate.
SOCIOLOGY. Estimate the sociological
problems which might accompany the end
of the world. Construct an experiment
to test your theory.
MANAGEMENT SCIENCE. Define management.
Define science. How do they relate?
Why? Create a generalized formula to
optimize all managerial decisions.
Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting 50
terminals, each terminal to activate
your formula, design the communi-
cations interface and all necessary
control programs.
ENGINEERING. The disassembled parts of
a high-powered rifle have been placed
in a box on your desk. You will find
an instruction manual, printed in
Swahili, under your desk. In 10
minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger will be
admitted to the room. Take whatever
action you feel appropriate. Be
prepared to justify your decision.
ECONOMICS. Develop a realistic plan
for financing the national debt. Trace
the possible effects of your plan in
the following areas: Cubism, the
Donatist controversy and the wave
theory of light. Outline a method for
preventing these effects. Criticize
this method from all possible points
of view. Point out the deficiencies in
your point of view, as demonstrated in
your answer to the last question.
POLITICAL SCIENCE. There is a red
telephone on the desk beside you.
Start World War III. Report at length
on its socio-political effects,
if any.
EPISTEMOLOGY. Take a position for or
against truth. Prove the validity of
your position.
PHYSICS. Explain the nature of matter.
Include in your answer an evaluation
of the impact of the development of
mathematics on science.
PHILOSOPHY. Sketch the development of
human thought; estimate its signifi-
cance. Compare with the development of
any other kind of thought.
GENERAL KNOWLEDGE. Describe in detail.
Be objective and specific.