89 lines
2.9 KiB
Plaintext
89 lines
2.9 KiB
Plaintext
D A T A P R O C E S S I N G D E F I N I T I O N S
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ACCESS TIME- THE TIME BETWEEN THE INSTANT AT WHICH INFORMATION IS CALLED FOR,
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AND THE INSTANT AT WHICH MANAGEMENT EXPECTS THE FINAL REPORT.
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ASSEMBLER- ONE WHO DROPS HIS CARD DECK.
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BIT- THE INCREMENT BY WHICH PROGRAMMERS SLOWLY GO MAD.
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BREAKPOINT- THE POINT AT WHICH PROGRAMMER INCREMENTS PAST LAST BIT AVAILABLE.
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CHAINING- A METHOD OF ATTACHING PROGRAMMERS TO DESK, TO SPEED UP OUTPUT.
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CHECKPOINT- THE LOCATION FROM WHICH A PROGRAMMER DRAWS HIS SALARY.
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CORE STORAGE- A RECEPTACLE FOR THE CENTER SECTION OF APPLES.
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COUNTER- AN AREA OVER WHICH MARTINI'S ARE SERVED.
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CRASH- WHAT A DETACHED (Q.V.) PROGRAMMER WOULD DEARLY LOVE TO DO, FOR AT LEAST
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EIGHT HOURS.
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DEFAULT- DE LINE WEST OF WHICH DE STATE OF CALIFORNIA WILL FLOAT OFF TO SEA AT
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DE NEXT MAJOR QUAKE.
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DETACHED- WHAT PROGRAMMER BECOMES AFTER THIRD DAY WITHOUT SLEEP.
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DEVICE- MEDIEVAL TORTURE INSTRUMENT SUCH AS THUMBSCREW, IRON MAIDEN.
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DISKETTES- A GROUP RECENTLY FORMED FROM OLD MEMBERS OF THE ROCKETTES.
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DOCUMENTATION- A MANUAL WHICH TELLS YOU HOW TO USE A PROGRAM, SYSTEM, OR
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UTILITY ONE VERSION AGO, AND WHICH IS NOW UNSUPPORTED.
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ERROR- WHAT SOMEONE ELSE HAS MADE WHEN THEY DISAGREE WITH YOUR COMPUTER OUTPUT.
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EXTERNAL STORAGE- WASTEBASKET
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FIXED WORD LENGTH- FOUR LETTER WORD USED BY PROGRAMMERS IN A STATE OF CONFUSION.
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FLOATING CONTROL- CHARACTERISTIC EXHIBITED WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM,
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BUT CAN'T LEAVE THE COMPUTER.
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FLOATING POINT- THE ABSOLUTE LIMIT BEFORE FLOATING CONTROL IS LOST.
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HARDWARE- NUTS, BOLTS, AND CIRCUIT BOARDS "LEFT OVER" AFTER REPAIRMAN HAS
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REASSEMBLED CPU.
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HOST- PERSON WHO INSISTS ON KEEPING VISITING PROGRAMMER UP UNTIL 4 AM WITH
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TRIVIA.
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I/O DEVICE- NOTE YOU SIGN FOR THE BANK IN/ORDER TO GET LOAN FOR NEW (OLD) CAR.
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LIBRARY- AN ORGANIZED COLLECTION OF OBSOLETE MATERIAL.
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LOAD- WHAT YOU DUMP AFTER REACHING FLOATING POINT.
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LOW ORDER POSITION- THE PROGRAMMER'S LOCATION IN THE CHAIN OF COMMAND.
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MAINFRAME- PRIMARY PERSON WHO JUST GOT SET UP FOR THE BLAME OF THE SYSTEM CRASH.
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MICROSECOND- AMOUNT OF TIME NEEDED FOR A PROGRAM TO BOMB.
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MONITOR- SHIP THAT FOUGHT THE MERRIMAC.
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NANOSECOND- MEASURE OF TIME ON MORK'S PLANET ORK.
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OFF-LINE- UNCHARITABLE REMARKS PROGRAMMER MAKES TO WIFE OR HUSBAND UPON BEING
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PHONED AT 9PM TO COME IN BECAUSE SYSTEM JUST CRASHED.
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ON-LINE- PROGRAMMER TRYING TO DEAL RATIONALLY ON PHONE WITH MANAGEMENT AT 9PM.
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PERIPHERAL- NOW YOU SEE IT, NOW YOU DON'T...
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PRINTOUT- A DOCUMENT TO VERIFY DATA YOU KNOW IS WRONG ANYWAY.
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PROGRAMMER- RED EYED MUMBLING MAMMAL, CAPABLE OF COMMUNICATING WITH INANIMATE
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OBJECTS.
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SOURCE FILE- ONE WHICH WAS "APPROPRIATED" FROM ONE OF THE COMPETITORS.
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SWITCH- WHEN MANAGEMENT CHANGES ITS MIND.
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TERMINAL- CONDITION OF DETACHED PROGRAMMER THREE DAYS FURTHER ALONG.
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