156 lines
3.7 KiB
C
156 lines
3.7 KiB
C
Article 432 of comp.sources.misc:
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>From: mjs@tropix.UUCP (Michael J Shon)
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Newsgroups: comp.sources.misc
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Subject: v02i099: a little joke in C
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Message-ID: <303@tropix.UUCP>
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Date: 18 Apr 88 19:35:35 GMT
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Approved: allbery@ncoast.UUCP
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comp.sources.misc: Volume 2, Issue 99
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Submitted-By: "Michael J Shon" <mjs@tropix.UUCP>
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Archive-Name: c_puns
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Well...
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I lost my mind one day when I saw a piece of code like
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long time(); /* know C */
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and this was the result. I think that it lints ok. (I haven't really checked)
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It compiles and runs, but it's really intended for very careful reading.
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(I like to think that there are a few subtle jokes in it.)
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mike shon
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---------------------------cut here------------------------------------------
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/*
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* find the important things in Life, the Universe, and Everything
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*/
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typedef short some; /* some things are short */
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typedef some very; /* some things are very short */
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#define A /* The first letter of the English Alphabet */
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#define LINE 2 /* 2 points define a line */
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#define TRUTH BEAUTY /* truth is beauty */
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#define BEAUTY 10 /* and beauty is a 10 */
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#define bad char /* burnt on both sides */
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#define old char /* the great Chicago Fire */
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#define get strlen /* during your life, try to get some sterling */
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#define youmake float /* you make it, I'll drink it */
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#define yourgoals in terms you can understand
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/*
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#include "yourdreams" /* for the future */
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/* everyone needs goals */
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short term;
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double yourpleasure();
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double yourfun;
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long Term, play(), agame;
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/* everyone needs diversions */
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old *joke = "Why did the chicken cross the road?\n\tTo get to the other side!\n\t\tWocka Wocka Wocka!\n";
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tell(joke)
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bad *joke; /* wait- you haven't heard it yet! */
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{
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short laugh; /* please */
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laugh = get(joke);
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write(1, joke, laugh); /* write it down- don't say it */
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}
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/* most folks like music */
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long play(record)
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long record;
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{
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very pleasant = TRUTH; /* if you like music */
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while (record == pleasant)
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play(record--);
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return( pleasant ); /* music soothes the savage */
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}
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double yourpleasure(one, way) /* this is necessary if */
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some one; /* is watching ,or if you have a */
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long way; /* to go */
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{
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/* this can change one while maintaining one's identity */
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one = one * one;
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return( one ); /* after all, it should have at least doubled */
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}
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hold(temper) /* good advice */
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A short temper; /* is a dangerous thing */
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{
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A long time; /* is what you need */
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very calm; /* is how you should be */
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calm = temper, temper;
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while (calm--)
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wait(&time);
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return(calm); /* if possible */
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}
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/* now, on to the main thing */
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main(thing, mustbe) /* to balance work, play, and goals */
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some thing, mustbe; /* important, or we wouldn't be here */
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{
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long time(); /* know C */
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very bored; /* the result of too few goals */
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short hours; /* make */
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long yourwork; /* which makes for */
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short tempers; /* which can be improved by */
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long laughing;
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/* first, set priorities */
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yourwork = 0;
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yourfun = 1.0e+38;
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if (yourpleasure( mustbe, yourwork ))
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yourfun = yourwork;
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else
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yourfun = play( agame );
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bored = yourfun - yourwork; /* nothing to do? */
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/* reach out and touch someone! */
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switch ( bored ) { /* connects all of this together */
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default:
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hours = hold(LINE); /* no way to avoid it, take a */
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break;
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}
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/* take a music break */
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while ( thing-- ) { /* you make my heart sing */
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youmake everything;
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very groovy;
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}
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/* focus on what is important to you */
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while ( yourfun < 0 ) {
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yourpleasure( mustbe, agame);
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yourfun = play( agame );
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}
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tell(joke);
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exit( laughing );
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}
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