79 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
79 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
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IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT AMONG THE USERS OF HIGH QUALITY COMPUTER
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EQUIPMENT THAT CAN BE FOUND ON MOST BBSS, THERE ARE A FEW USING SUCH TOYS AS
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THE COCO, ATARI AND (HA HA) TIMEX SINCLAIR. TO SEPERATE THESE UNFORTUNATES
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FROM THE REST OF HUMANITY, I HAVE PRODUCED THIS LIST. HOPEFULLY THIS WILL
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CLEAR UP ANY DOUBTS YOU MAY HAVE ABOUT WHAT IS A REAL COMPUTER...
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- REAL COMPUTERS HAVE REAL KEYBOARDS
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- REAL COMPUTERS DON'T TAKE HOURS TO SAVE A PROGRAM.
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CORROLARY: REAL COMPUTERS HAVE A DISK DRIVE.
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CORROLARY OF THE CORROLARY: THE ATARI IS NOT A REAL COMPUTER.
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- REAL COMPUTERS HAVE ENOUGH MEMORY TO STORE BOTH BASIC AND A PROGRAM.
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CORROLARY: REAL COMPUTERS HAVE AT LEAST 64K.
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- REAL COMPUTERS DON'T USE INPUT DEVICES NAMED AFTER RODENTS.
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- REAL COMPUTERS CAN DISPLAY 80 COLUMNS.
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THIS ABILITY SHOULD BE AVAILABLE TO THE OPERATOR WITHOUT REQUIRING THE
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PURCHASE OF A HIGH POWER MAGNIFYING LENS.
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- REAL COMPUTERS AREN'T MISTAKEN FOR DOORSTOPS.
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- THE OWNERS OF REAL COMPUTERS RECOGNIZE THE OWNERS OF TOYS AND DON'T
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ASSOCIATE WITH THEM.
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- THE OWNERS OF TOY COMPUTERS LIKE TO PRETEND THAT THEY OWN A REAL
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COMPUTER, BUT NO ONE IS FOOLED.
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- WHEN A REAL COMPUTER BREAKS DOWN, IT IS SENT TO BE FIXED. WHEN A TOY
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COMPUTER BREAKS, THE OWNER BUYS A NEW ONE.
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- REAL COMPUTERS ARE STILL ON THE MARKET.
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CORROLARY 1: THE TI 99 IS NOT A REAL COMPUTER.
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CORROLARY 2: THE COLECO ADAM IS NOT A REAL COMPUTER.
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- THE OWNERS OF REAL COMPUTERS DON'T BRAG ABOUT HOW GOOD THEY ARE; PEOPLE
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ALREADY KNOW.
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- THE OWNERS OF REAL COMPUTERS DON'T SPILL COKE ON THE KEYBOARD OF THEIR
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COMPUTER.
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CORROLARY: THE OWNERS OF TOY COMPUTERS DON'T TOUCH TYPE.
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- PEOPLE WITH TOY COMPUTERS LIKE TO TELL OWNERS OF REAL COMPUTERS THAT THEIR
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COMPUTER IS BETTER THAN THAT OF THE REAL COMPUTER OWNER; SOME OF THESE JOKES
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ARE QUITE FUNNY.
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- YOU CAN DROP A TOY COMPUTER AND IT WILL BREAK. YOU CAN'T LIFT A REAL
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COMPUTER.
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- THE OWNERS OF REAL COMPUTERS AREN'T NECESSARILY SMARTER THAN OWNERS OF TOY
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COMPUTERS... SOMETIMES THEY JUST SEEM TO BE.
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- REAL COMPUTER OWNERS AREN'T AFRAID TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT KIND OF COMPUTER THEY
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OWN. TOY COMPUTER OWNERS ARE TOO STUPID TO CARE.
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- REAL COMPUTERS DON'T USE A TV AS A MONITOR.
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- MURPHY'S LAW OF TOY COMPUTERS:
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ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG IS PATENTED BY TIMEX.
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- SOME TOY COMPUTERS ARE VERY GOOD AT RUNNING GAMES. THESE COMPUTERS,
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HOWEVER, ARE INFERIOR IN GAME QUALITY TO MOST HOME VIDEO GAMES AND
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COST TWICE AS MUCH.
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- BEING USED BY A TOY COMPUTER OWNER MAY TURN A REAL COMPUTER INTO A TOY
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COMPUTER, BUT THE REVERSE IS NEVER TRUE.
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- TOY COMPUTERS DON'T RUN WORD PROCESSORS, AND WOULDN'T HAVE ENOUGH DISK
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SPACE TO HOLD THIS FILE ANYWAY, SO WE NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT A TOY
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COMPUTER OWNER WRITING "REAL TOY COMPUTERS"...
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I HOPE THIS CLEARS THINGS UP. AND IF ANY OF YOU TOY COMPUTER OWNERS OUT
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THERE CAN READ, I HOPE YOU AREN'T INSULTED BY THIS FILE!
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