textfiles/humor/COMPUTER/c_minus.min

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NEW PRODUCT ANNOUNCEMENT: 'C' Language Regression Package
Antiquity Spoffware Solutions
Announces
C-- Void Oriented Programming
Antiquity Spoffware Solutions is proud to announce its latest
fully integrated software package for C programmers. C Programmers
for years now have been frustrated with a myriad of functions
designed for almost sickening efficiency and control. Any programmer
knows that a language so flexible has its drawbacks: Universality.
C-- combines all the power of BASIC, the readability of COBOL, and the
wealth of string and graphics functions associated with FORTRAN.
C-- does away with floats and doubles, chars and ints and
manipulates data entirely in LONG integer form (for portability.)
Here are some examples:
/* This program generates an integer-oriented
#include <cmm.h>
#LOADREGULARCLIBRARYFUNCTION (STDIO.H)
MAIN *OPENCURLYBRACKETPOINTINGLEFT
PRINTFORMATTEDOUTPUT ( "DEMONSTRATION OF C-- FUNCTIONS" ) SEMICOL
LET THENUMBER A EQUAL 10 SEMICOLON
LET THENUMBER B EQUAL 20 SEMICOLON
IF A .LT. B THEN DO SINGLEFUNCTION
PRINTFORMATTEDOUTPUT( NUMBER, STRING, A, "IS SMALLEST" )
SEMICOLON
OTHERWISE
IF B .LT. B THEN DO SINGLEFUNCTION
PRINTFORMATTEDOUTPUT( NUMBER, STRING, B, "IS SMALLEST" )
SEMICOLON
OTHERWISE
DO NOTHING SEMICOLON
*CLOSECURLYBRACKETPOINTINGRIGHT
The above source, as you may have noticed, is not just a demonstration
of the ASS software team's life-long persistance in the generation of
efficient, compact, (and most of all) READABLE software.
The tried and true principles behind line-buffered input are sure to
delight the seasoned programmer. C-- is sure to invoke images of
keypunches and card readers and leave you happily chugging away at
keyboard.