107 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
107 lines
5.6 KiB
Plaintext
From duncan@rmy.emory.edu Wed Sep 12 10:22:08 1990
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From: duncan@rmy.emory.edu (Sara Duncan)
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Subject: anthropological study
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Keywords: science, chuckle, original
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(I wrote this myself while lamenting the plight of the pitiful graduate
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student that I am. Thus, it is original and, alas, is all the research I
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have managed to do this summer.
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Sara Duncan duncan@rmy.rmy.emory.edu)
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The Pedagological Tribal System of Primitive Cultures of the
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Scientific Research Community
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This study deals with a pedagological tribal system with
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definite, almost overwhelming paternalistic mores and codes.
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I had had some difficulty studying these tribes because they are
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quite fierce and often impossible to communicate with except
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in their own languages, which are diverse and may have roots
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in latin. (I, however, tend to hold that these languages are a
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development of the tribes themselves and are a major
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contributory factor in their continued isolation from the
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global community.) In general, members also appear to have
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little ability to learn new languages. To overcome these
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barriers, I am attempting to infiltrate a tribe and become a
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full-fledged member of it. I am currently undergoing
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initiation rites in a southeastern tribe called "Physiology
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and Pharmacology". This is a preliminary report of my current
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findings.
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The adult males of any of the tribes which can be grouped
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under the broad designation "researchers" are called
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"professors" and sometimes "doctors".
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The terms are not entirely interchangeable as the
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higher ranking males are always referred to as "doctor"
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whereas "professor" is a more generic term for all adult
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males who have completed any variation of the initiation
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process which is called "graduate school".
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There are two groups of females in this culture, one group is
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granted low ranking status as a quasi-male with
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responsibilities similar to the very low-ranking males. They
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are referred to as "professors" also, but are never actually
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allowed to progress beyond certain set heirarchial levels.
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This group is not often granted reproductive status. The
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second group of females could be classified as sub-adult, as
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they are never granted any of the rights of the full adult,
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which is, of course, always male or quasi-male. They are
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termed "professor's wives" and may only assume any status
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through the male to whom they are attached and by telephone
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calls to secretaries. The phone calling privilege is unique to
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the "professor's wife" and is *never* usurped.
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Interestingly, offspring of these unions are not acknowledged
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within the culture and leave the tribe upon reaching
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adolescence.
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Reproduction is quite unusual and very interesting! The
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tribes call this "recruitment". Several select members of the
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tribe, usually middle-ranking males and even a few quasi-male
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females travel to distant tribes called "undergraduate
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colleges" where they put on quite lovely displays and make
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generous offers to the neonates from the "undergraduate
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colleges". This is similar to courtship in some cultures, but
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is directed at procuring neonates. The neonates put on a
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secondary display for the professors of their choosen tribe,
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wherein they accept the wonderous offers. These are very
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intricate dances, and only the best research tribes and neonates
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are successful.
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Once the new tribe members have arrived at their new tribe,
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however, initiation may take anywhere from four to
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seven years. I have seen examples of initiates being
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subjected to trials for eight years! This does vary somewhat,
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but the general rule is an extrordinarily long and quite
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demanding set of incomprehensible tests that the candidates
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for initiation must perform well on. These are similar to the
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tribes of Africa who have to walk on hot coals in bare feet or
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draw elaborate scars on all parts of their bodies. The
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actual trials are called "preliminary exams" "qualifying
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exams" and, of course the dreaded "dissertation defense" rite.
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Unfortunatly, I have not yet been made privy to all the
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inuendos of this final rite. Although I have been allowed to
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watch during several. I was actually required to watch this
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horrible test of human ability to withstand the agony of hours
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of questions in very highly ceremonial language, many words of
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which I am not yet informed. The medicine man of the tribe
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changes for each different initiate. He is called the "major
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professor", possibly referring to his power during the rite of
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passage. The power of the medicine man is reflected on the
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initiate and will follow him through his entire adult life.
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These tribes have not yet been well characterized. This is
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understandable in light of the extreme reclusivity and
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exclusivity of all of the research tribes I have encountered.
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Yet this should not preclude further in-depth analysis of a
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truly unique way of life. I shall continue work within my
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present tribe in hopes of becoming a full fledged member, as
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it were, and of coming to full understanding of this culture.
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--
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Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA
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Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
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Please use looking.on.ca and not just looking or looking.uucp.
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