132 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
132 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
101 THINGS TO DO WITH A DEAD AMIGA
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==================================
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Brought to you by the Webbed Sphere ST [513]299-3665
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***********************************************************************
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ASCII conversion by Internal Malfunction, [705]'s ST source!
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300/1200/2400, 24 hours a day [705]734-0349 Barrie, Ont.
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***********************************************************************
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Modifications by Wild Dog of Simcoe County Atari Users Group.
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special thanks to Atari Master.
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[1] You can put an Amiga under a short leg on a table.
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[2] You can use an Amiga for a kitty litter box.
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[3] You can scrap an Amiga and use it as spare parts for a radio.
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[4] You can use an Amiga as a car stop when you park on a steep hill.
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[5] You can use an Amiga when your teacher hands you an F of your
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final exam.
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[6] You can use an Amiga to hammer nails.
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[7] You can tie 3 Amiga's together and use them as a jock strap.
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[8] You can use an Amiga as a locker shelf if you need more space.
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[9] When in fear of power surges you can plug in an Amiga first.
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[1O] You can tie 2 Amiga's together and use it as a leg brace.
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[11] If you get stuck in mud then you can use an Amiga as friction to
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get out.
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[12] Use an Amiga as a hood ornament.
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[13] When you do your homework, you can use an Amiga as a paper
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weight for a book.
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[14] You can have a contest on how many pieces you can make an Amiga
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into.
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[15] If you have muddy shoes you can scrape the mud off on them.
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[16] You can construct a raft out of Amiga's.
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[17] You can write important messages on the back of an Amiga.
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[18] You can grow fungus culture on an Amiga.
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[19] If making a geek BBS use an Amiga for the computer.
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[2O] Use an Amiga as a book end.
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[21] Amiga's can be used as a murder weapon of some sort.
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[22] You can use an Amiga as a goldfish bowl.
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[23] If you buy an Amiga you will learn a new phrase.. "Fucked Again.."
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[24] Instead of flushing your money down the toilet you can buy
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an Amiga.
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[25] You can raise bees in your Amiga.
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[26] Engrave an Amiga and use it as a headstone.
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[27] If your favorite T.V. show was cancelled you can throw it at a TV.
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[28] If you know how to read, you can use an Amiga as a bookmark.
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[29] Rent an Amiga as a roach motel.
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[3O] You can use the owner's manual to teach people how to read.
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[31] You can use an Amiga as a footstool.
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[32] You can use an Amiga as a scratchpost for your cat.
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[33] You can glue 1O Amigas together to use as a surfboard.
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[34] As a torture, you can make someone use an Amiga.
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[35] You can use 2 Amigas as a bookcover.
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[36] If out of wood, you can burn some Amigas.
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[37] You can set your beer down on an Amiga so as not to scuff your
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furniture.
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[38] You can see if a Ronco Vegi-Matic will destroy an Amiga.
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[39] You can convert Atari ST games to Amiga and watch them flop.
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[4O] You can see how much water it takes to short circuit an Amiga.
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[41] You can tie an Amiga to a stick and use it as a shovel.
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[42] You can drill a hole through the center of one and shit
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through it.
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[43] You can use an Amiga as a backboard for basketball.
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[44] You can take PCP and imagine you have a furry computer.
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[45] You can tie an Amiga to your foot and use it as a cleat.
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[46] You can use an Amiga as a hubcap.
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[47] You can use an Amiga as a wrecking ball on a crane.
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[48] You can test your new gun on an Amiga.
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[49] You can test out sizes of drill bits on an Amiga.
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[5O] You can throw Amigas at 14 year olds.
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[51] You can hollow an Amiga out and put secret messages in it.
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[52] You can get the neighborhood faggot to fuck an Amiga.
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[53] With enough of them you can build a chair.
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[54] If you really go for it you can build a table for your Apple
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with Amigas
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[55] You can use an Amiga as a door mat.
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[56] You can wipe your ass with an amiga.
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[57] You can use an Amiga as an ashtray.
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[58] You can give an Amiga to the needy.
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[59] You can use an Amiga as a whoopy-cushion.
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[6O] You can give an Amiga an AIDS virus.
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[61] You can use an Amiga as a pooper-scooper.
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[62] You can use Amigas in a similar way like Lego blocks.
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[63] You could use keys from its keyboard as buttons for your
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shirt.
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[64] You can fill an Amiga with birdseed and hang it in a tree.
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[65] If you like hard pillows you can use an Amiga as one.
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[66] You can build a black box with parts from your Amiga.
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[67] You can let a professinal wrestler sit on an Amiga and fart away.
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[68] You can throw Amigas at Prince if you go to one of his concerts.
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[69] You can wipe your Nose with an Amiga.
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[7O] When you go to church you can put one in the collection plate.
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[71] You can use an Amiga as a dart board.
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[72] You can buy an Amiga, grease it up, and use it a new sex toy.
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[73] You can buy an Amiga an return it in the same hour.
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[74] You can piss on an Amiga and then make a 14 year old lick it up.
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[75] If you have diarhea then you can collect the shit on an Amiga.
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[76] You can let your pet dog sleep on an Amiga.
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[77] You can count how many pieces an Amiga breaks into after
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you throw it.
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[78] You can sit on an Amiga when you go to a baseball game.
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[79] You can give this file to an Amiga owner and laugh in his face.
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[8O] Raise mushrooms in an Amiga.
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[81] If you get mugged show him your Amiga and he'll know you need
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the money.
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[82] You can feed an Amiga to Mikee.
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[83] Give it a funeral.
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[84] You can threaten someone by say)ng you'll tell everyone that he
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owns one.
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[85] Bronze it and place it on the mantel.
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[86] You can tell if people are stupid by if they own an Amiga.
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[87] If one of your cords are stripped then you can use the one
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from Amiga.
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[88] Frost an Amiga and enter it in a cake contest.
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[89] You can use 3 Amigas as a helmet for football.
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[9O] You can see how many Amigas you can destroy in an hour.
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[91] You can fart on an Amiga and see how long it takes for it to melt.
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[92] You can use an Amiga as a popcorn popper.
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[93] You can heat an Amiga and use it as an iron.
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[94] You can decorate the ceiling by putting parts of Amigas on it.
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[95] Take it for a walk on a leash.
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[96] You can use an Amiga as a mailbox.
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[97] You can put wheels on it and use it as a shopping cart.
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[98] You can keep your pipes in it.
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[99] You can keep loose change in it.
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[100] Use an Amiga for batting practice.
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and if you really want to get rid of it:
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[101] Try fixinig it yourself!
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(416)663-2432
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(705)734-0349 -pass it on!
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