55 lines
1.8 KiB
Plaintext
55 lines
1.8 KiB
Plaintext
Undocumented 8088/8086/80286/80386 Instruction Set
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Assembler programs are written with short abbreviations
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called MNEMONICS, in other words instead of writing GOTO,
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the programmer writes JMP or even BRA (branch). These
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instructions are frequently abbreviated into total
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incomprehensibility.
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Of course, we all know that abbreviations are arbitrary.
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Anyone who has spent any time programming in assembler knows
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that all computers can be programmed using an undocumented
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set of instructions. Frequently when an error is made
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writing a program in assembler, a user can actually see the
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program executing the undocumented instructions.
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These instruction vary from machine to machine, but all
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computers have a certain set of them in common. As a
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service to humanity, I am here revealing these common
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instructions for the first time.
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ARG Agree to Run Garbage
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BDM Branch and Destroy Memory
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CMN Convert to Mayan Numerals
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DDS Damage Disk and Stop
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EMR Emit Microwave Radiation
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ETA Emulate Toaster Oven
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FSE Fake Serious Error
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GSI Garble Subsequent Instruction
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GQS Go Quarter Speed
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HEM Hide Evidence of Malfunction
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IDD Inhale Dust and Die
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IKI Ignore Keyboard Input
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IMU Irradiate and Mutate User
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JPF Jam Paper Feed
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JUM Jeer at User Mistake
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KFP Kindle Fire in Printer
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LNM Launch Nuclear Missiles
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MAW Make Aggravating Whine
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NNI Neglect Next Instruction
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OBU Overheat and Burn if Unattended
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PNG Pass Noxious Gas
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QWF Quit Working Forever
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QVC Question Valid Command
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RWD Read Wrong Device
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SCE Simulate Correct Execution
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SDJ Send Data to Japan
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TTC Tangle Tape and Crash
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UBC Use Bad Chip
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VDP Violate Design Parameters
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VMB Verify and Make Bad
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WAF Warn After Fact
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XID eXchange Instruction with data
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YII Yield to Irresistible Impulse
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ZAM Zero All Memory
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