69 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
69 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS..(REVISED EDITION)
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'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the ship
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Not a circuit was buzzing, not one micro chip;
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The phasers were hung in the armory securely,
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In hope that no aliens would get up that early.
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The crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunks
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(Except for the few who were partying drunks);
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And Picard in his nightshirt and Bev in her lace,
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Had just settled down for a neat face-to-face...
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When out in the halls there arose such a racket,
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That we leapt from our beds, pulling on pants and jacket.
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Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun,
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Leapt into the cars and yelled loudly, "Deck One!".
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The bridge Red-Alert lights, which flashed through the din,
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Gave a luster of Hades to objects within.
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When, what, on the viewscreen, should our eyes behold,
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But a weird kind of sleigh, and some geek who looked old.
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But the glint in his eyes was so strange and askew,
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That we knew in a moment it had to be Q.
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His sleigh grew much larger as closer he came.
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Then he zapped on the bridge and addressed us by name;
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"It's Riker! It's Data! It's Worf and Jean-Luc!
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It's Geordi! And Wesley, the genetic fluke!
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To the top of the bridge, to the top of the hall!
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Now float away, float away, float away all!
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As leaves in autumn are whisked off the street,
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So the floor of the bridge came away from our feet,
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And up to the ceiling our bodies they flew,
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As the captain called out, "What the hell is this Q?!".
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The prankster just laughed and expanded his grin,
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And, snapping his fingers, he vanished again.
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As we took in our plight and were looking around,
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The spell was removed, and we crashed to the ground.
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Then Q, dressed in fur from his head to his toe,
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Appeared once again to continue the show.
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"That's enough!" cried the captain, "You'll stop this at once!",
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And Riker said, "Worf! Take your aim at this dunce!",
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"I'm deeply offended, Jean-Luc," replied Q.
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"I just wanted to spend Christmas with you."
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As we scoffed at his words, he produced a large sack.
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He dumped out the contents, and took a step back.
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"I've brought gifts," he said, "just to show I'm sincere.
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There's something delightful for everyone here."
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He sat on the floor and dug into the pile,
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And handed out gifts with his most charming smile.
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"For Counselor Troi, there's no need to explain,
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Here's Tylenol-Beta for all of your pain.
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For Worf I've got mints as his breath's not too great,
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And for Geordi LaForge, an inflatable date.
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For Wesley, some hormones, and Clearasil-Plus;
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For Data, a joke book; for Riker, a truss.
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For Beverly Crusher, there's sleek lingerie,
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And for Jean-Luc, the thrill of seeing her that way."
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Then he sprang to his feet with that grin on his face,
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And, clapping his hands, disappeared into space.
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But we heard him exclaim as he dwindled form sight,
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"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight!!"
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