77 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
77 lines
3.3 KiB
Plaintext
From unknown@ucscb.UCSC.EDU Fri Dec 15 23:00:17 1989
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From: unknown@ucscb.UCSC.EDU (The Unknown User)
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Subject: A Visit from Saint Woz
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Since it's that time of year, it seems this is something worthy of
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a repost. As a small note to the alt.folklore.computers readers: This
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doesn't seem to fit the folklore subject matter but does seem to be in the
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same vein of some other song parodies which have gone over well on that
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newsgroup. This is probably my last call before next year (next DECADE even!).
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A VISIT FROM SAINT WOZ
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by Marty Knight
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(Reprinted with permission of the Author)
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'Twas the night before Christmas, sounds all through the house,
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the printer a'buzzing; the clicking of mouse.
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The floppies were stored in their cases with care
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in hopes that St. Wozniak soon would be there.
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The children were nestled, all snug in their beds,
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while TransWarp GS's danced in their heads.
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I need 3 megs more, but RAM costs a mint.
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I'm nodding off, waiting for my printer to print.
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When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
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I woke with a start, "Now what's the matter?"
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Awakened from slumber I jumped up to see,
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tripped over the dog and fell on my knee.
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The moon shining onto the new fallen snow
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formed a non-standard pallette with objects below.
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When what to my poor bloodshot eyes should appear
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but SHR graphics! Stereo sound do I hear!
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With a sixteen bit chip and new bug-free GSOS,
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I knew right away that it must be Saint Woz.
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More rapid than Transwarp, his menus they came.
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He clicked and he dragged and he called them by name.
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"Now Pulldowns, now Buttons, now Dialogs, too.
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On Finder, Mac Interface, we're faster than Mac II!
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Blue slips for marketing! DTS better not scoff!
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ProDOS format for Technotes or I'll lay you all off!
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You know lame excuses make customers sad;
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well Macs in the schools make Applers mad."
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So up to the housetop his menus they flew
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with a sack full of RAM chips and Saint Wozniak, too.
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I listened intently with my two little ears
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to true stereo sound spreading holiday cheer.
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As I was scratching head and was turning around
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down the chimney Saint Wozniak came with a bound.
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He wore sneakers, a t-shirt, and blue jeans
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stained with some soda (I think it was cream).
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A bundle of chips he had slung on his back
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and he looked like a hacker there searching his pack.
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His eyes twinkled brightly, his dimples so merry,
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his cheeks like twin apples, his nose like a cherry.
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His droll little mouth smiled a smile O so grand,
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a full bearded chin, AppleLink in his hand.
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A thick slice of pizza he held tight with his teeth
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while the steam from it circled his head like a wreath.
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A plump little face and a round little belly;
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he laughed and it shook like a bowl full of jelly.
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He was chubby and plump; a right jolly old elf.
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I laughed when I saw him - he resembled myself.
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He winked his left eye and he twisted his head,
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so I knew deep inside I had nothing to dread.
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He said not a word, just went right to work.
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He soldered and programmed, then turned with a jerk.
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Then placing his finger on top of that mess,
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and giving a nod - POOF! fast GS!
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He leaped to his ship as it rose from the ground,
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up into the sky, and as he turned 'round
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I heard him exclaim, ere he flew out of sight,
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"GS plusses for all, and to all a good night!"
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--
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unknown@ucscb.ucsc.edu APPLE II FOREVER APL24VR GS tips? Mail me.
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