77 lines
3.6 KiB
Standard ML
77 lines
3.6 KiB
Standard ML
TWELVE MAGICTRAGICMAGIC WORDS
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Far back in the almost forgotten lore of the elves is an exhaustive store of
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magic--in olden times the elves were able to do all sorts of wondrous things
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with their magic.
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Unfortunately, most of that has been lost. All that has come to the elves
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over the years is twelve magic words, instead of the thousands they used to
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have. Those twelve can be very powerful. Yet they don't solve all the elves'
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problems. Each word becomes effective only when it's spoken after first
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drinking the FRUMP potion--and the potion is ever in short supply.
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THE TWELVE MAGIC WORDS.....
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ONE: DINKY DOILEY. Used by an elf to make himself invisible. The difficulty
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is that the word for making oneself visible again has been lost.
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TWO: KALAMAZAMKALAMAZOO! Spoken to make an object disappear. Doesn't work
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for anything larger than a whale. (A group of elves onces used this on a
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polar bear. He disappeared--and they didn't see a thing when he chewed
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them up.)
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THREE: HOGEY BOGEY. Works to clean a room within seconds. The magic may
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not put things where you want them, however. Thim once used this and found
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all his dirty clothes stuffed down the toilet.
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FOUR: PEEPEEPOOPOO. Magically transforms your enemy into the animal you're
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thinking of at the time. Be careful not to think of a vicious animal--
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turkeys and squirrels are good choices.
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FIVE: YUP-YUP. Effective when you want a plant to grow fast. Elvish records
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show that Jack didn't really have magic beans; he just knew how to use
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Yup-Yup magic.
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SIX: BULLY BULLY! Turns raw materials into the toy of your choice. Must be
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spoken very loudly and with great force. (Hans Leeflang of Holland tried
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this one once--and he was thinking of every toy he'd ever wanted. He was
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wrapped under the resulting toys for three days before they could dig him
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out. Teddy Roosevelt used a variation of this magic spell to become president
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of the United States.)
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SEVEN: PIGGY POG. Cures just about any imaginable illness. Does not work for
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cut fingers or for colds, however.
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EIGHT: HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY POO. Good for changing the weather. Can make it go
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from snow to rain to shine within seconds, or from cloudiness to clear skies.
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BEWARE: When you give yourself nice weather, you're stealing it from someone
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else, and giving them your clouds.
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NINE: BUNKO BUCKY BAH-BAH. Make someone shut up. When the noise gets to an
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elf, if he has some potion handy, he says the magic words and the other
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person is unable to speak for 55 minutes.
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TEN: JOE BETCHUM. Said to bring something to mind. Works to help the elf
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remember things he's forgotten, as well as things he never knew before.
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ELEVEN: RUMPLESTILTSKIN. Pronounced to bring a shiny star down into your
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hand.
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TWELVE: HUPPY HUPPY HO-HO-HO! Must be said with a broad smile, and with
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the finger on the side of the nose. Works to make an elf go up into the
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air. The elves taught this spell to Santa to enable him to go up chimneys.
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THE FRUMP POTION
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None of this magic does any good unless the elf first swallows at least a
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teaspoon of the FRUMP potion. Some of the ingredients of the potion are
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hard to come by, and a batch won't last without spoiling for more than
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three weeks. To make the potion, gather the following ingredients and
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boil them over a medium hot flame.
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F: Fine Hair of a Frozen Flea, chopped into tiny pieces.
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R: Righteous Indignation of a Mad Mayfly (at least 10.52 grams).
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U: Urn with umbones of a Red Wooger (at least ",L"L
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