80 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
80 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
###############################################################################
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## HT#005 ÄÍðZhit Axis Nation presentsðÍÄ W () W ##
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## How to Sell a Book Without \||/ ##
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## Writing it First || ##
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## || ##
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## Written by: Guido Sanchez _/ \_ ##
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## Dated: June 15,1991 ##
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## Greet(s) to: Kimo, Hades, Baron, CoP, LAAAAAists and ZANists everywhere ##
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## ##
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## Ying Yang BBS The Baron's Bistro FuNHouse BBS ##
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## ZAN Promised Land ZAN Mosque#001 ZAN Mosque#002 ##
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## SysOp: CoP SysOp: The Baron SysOp: Erasmus ##
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###############################################################################
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ThisClaimer: This is for educational, destructional, and anarchial purposes..
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If anything happens to you, I AM responsible... but remember I KNOW where you
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LIVE!!! You can distribute this in any way (ZIP, by hand), but DO NOT EDIT
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THIS file!! If you happen to pull out your EDIT prog and work on this, PLEASE
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leave the opening screen, and add your additions at the end of the file...
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]-----------------------------------------------------------------------------[
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How to Sell a Book Without Actually Writing it
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or
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Buy This Book, Even Though It's Not Out Yet
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I got the idea for this text file when I learned that my Big Brother was
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writing a book called "How to Violently Rape Defenseless Children". Well, he's
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not quite done editing it, but I thought "Wouldn't it be great if publishers
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were begging to publish him, resulting in lots of money for him, and really
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nice Birthday presents from him to me?". Well, I suppose if you're an author
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and you're reading this, but you're not done "editing" the book yet (you
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haven't even started yet!!!), you want to make the book worth all of the time
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and money you've spent on it.
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Well, here is the exalted answer from the ZANists Minister of Philosophy!!
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Here's what you do, using my brother's book as an example. Go to your local
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mall and go to a big-name bookstore (Waldenbooks, Kroch's and
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Brentano's, B. Dalton Booksellers, etc.). Make sure it's a national chain, and
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ask someone in charge there if they have the book "Embracing the Rapist". Tell
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them you don't know who the author is (for my identity's sake), but you hear
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that it's a really good book. Well, since it's not out yet, they OBVIOUSLY
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don't have it, but they MAY check their shelves for it. So, walk away with a
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regretful look on your face. Now, do this whenever you happen to go into a
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Major bookstore, and tell your friends (you DO have friends, don't you? If
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not, then read SOCIDE.ZAN for info on how to make some while alienating
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someone else) to do the same whenever they go into a major bookstore. Have
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your friends tell their friends, and their friends, and so on untill lots of
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people are looking for this book. Just DON'T tell your friends that the book
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does not exist, but tell them that it's "really cool, and you should get it"
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etc. Well, if all of these people keep on asking for the same book, these
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major bookstore chains MIGHT go browsing among the publishing houses looking
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for this book frantically, because so many people want it, and they can smell
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profit! (It's a prerequisite of being a bookstore employee, I think!). So
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basically, this might be going on about a month or two before my brother
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finally decides to try his book on the publishers. The publishers, if enough
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bookstore chains have asked them, may be frantically searching for this book,
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and will gladly give my brother any price he wants for it, because they can
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smell profit. So, my brother finally sells it, the publishers distribute it,
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and some people will buy it because they heard that it is "really cool, and
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you should get it". SO, my brother makes a killing in royalties, buys me a new
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System 586 for my birthday, and I can set up a MOTHER of a ZAN mosque,
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spreading the word of ZAN everywhere. Pretty neat, huh? Oh, and this might
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turn you on even more. If you're an author, you can do the SAME!! Just post
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about your book on some ZAN boards, and they'll know what you're talking about
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and spread the word to help out a fellow ZANist. So, you make money!! Or, even
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better, you may NOT be an author, but do this just to cause CHAOS and receive
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access to the ZAN Promised Land!!! How's that??? Let me know if it works, and
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remeber!! Next time you're in a major bookstore...
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[----------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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P.S. Yo Ninja!! Say hi to David Lynch for me!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
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-Guido Sanchez
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MoPZAN
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EoLAAAAA
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[----------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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This paper has been a presentation of the Zhit Axis Nations. Are you a ZANist?
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If not, look for a ZAN application on an Elite BBS near you!!!!
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Long Live Zhitzu!!!!!!!
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[----------------------------------------------------------------------------]
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