182 lines
9.0 KiB
Plaintext
182 lines
9.0 KiB
Plaintext
The BIG Picture
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By: Maverick
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Ok, it's about time I made one of these damn ZAN files.. I really
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don't know what the hell you're supposed to put in these files, so I'll just
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sit here and type some decent shit. Well, the reason I have no idea what
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goes in these damn files, is because of the goddamn Fun House BBS. Ok, I call
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there hoping to pick up some ZAN files, and see if they're any good, ya know?
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Then I try and download, and my upload d/l ratio is out of balance.. pause..
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BIG TEN TO CARL BRAHMS FOR USING TELEGARD WITH RATIOS AND POINTS!!!!!
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Anyways, I upload some 600k file only to find that there's a goddamn bad file
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in it... And guess what it is? It's the fucking polish CALL.ME! Goddamit! Ok,
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that's not that bad.. So, I go find some 80k file, send it up, and now at 3am
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Friday, July 26th (I think..) his goddamn board has locked up checking it...
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Well, that's why I have nothing to compare this one to, but it seems Geedo and
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his buddies can make these at their own will, and if Laura can write one,
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goddammit I'm gonna compile one...
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Ok, lets start with my favorite topic: All the dumb asses that call bbses...
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One thing I hated most about being a sysop, is answering the goddamn pager... I
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know I probably should have just turned it off 24 hours a day, I mean, who the
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hell is going to page me? If someone I know wanted to chat, he/she would call
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me voice... So, I ended up talking to some of the biggest dumb asses in the
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chicagoland area.. Lets go over a couple of examples on the common dumb ass
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bbs user.. BTW, if this describes you, BIG TEN YOU POLOCK!...
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Anyways, one of my favorite questions that a user asked me was: Hey man,
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where'd my 10000 file points go? I read an ad on the Polocks Palace that you
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get 100000 file points when you logon as a new user! Then I'd go, sorry,
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you're dreaming buddy! Then the person's like: Gee, some friend you are!
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(I don't even know who the hell this person is)...
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So, instance #1:
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1) Some guy asking for file points for whatever reason and claiming he's been
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you're friend for life.
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Ok, another one of my favorite times, is when the next best thing to a dumb ass
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user calls up, drum roll.... A DUMB ASS VISITING SYSOP!
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There are two things I hate when a visiting sysop calls:
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1) Hey man.. I got my new bbs up with my speedy 2400 bauder and my 20 megger
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and check this out man, I just got my new hyperp protocol and I get a whole 5
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cps more on my transfers! Man, at this speed my drive will be full in no time!
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How about we exchange unlimited on each other's boards... Even though my
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board's D range to you, it sucks shit, and you'll probably never call!
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2) Hey DuDeE!! I just got an HST!! YES! FAST SPEEDS! But I need you to go
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voice with me, spend you're precious time, and give me init strings and set my
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modem and my telegard up for me! See, I need like these init strings for my
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hst because I'm too much of a dumb ass to open up my manual that came with the
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modem, use some simple logic and send a couple strings to the modem to set it
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up! That's why i want you to do it for me!
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Now, I hated #2 the most... See, one time I was in a real bad mood, and the
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damn telegard page bell didn't help much, and some guy (With the word SHIT
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somewhere in his handle) I think it was Shit Dude, Dickwadd, Dicklesss, Shit
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for brains, or some bullshit like that... ANYWAYS, this malaka was paging me
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going Set up my HST. Like this guy I never heard of starts commanding me, ME,
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to set up his goddamn hst, well I sorta firmly declined, then I start calling
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around seeing messages about how "Maverick is such a fucking asshole "... etc.
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on like 10 boards... He got locked out of over half of them after I explained
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the situation to the sysop, but it was annoying....
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Well, there's what I hate in goddamn bbs users..
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--------------
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Ok, how about we talk about some more important shit, like say... HSTs.. I'd
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like to get a few things strait about HSTs... This shit was inspired by like
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100 messages on the US Connect about this bullshit about HSTs....
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1st) HSTs are Cheap! Find someone at USR and ask him to buy you one for the
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employee price of $300!!! G'Z! Fuck refurbishing and all that crap! Get a
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BRAND NEW ONE!
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2nd) This may be a shock, and this will probably end the longest debate in
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history that idiots start to keep their post call ratios good: When you call
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a board with you're comm program set at 19200, your HST will NEVER, NEVER,
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NEVER say CONNECT 19200 or CONNECT 38400, those result codes are not programmed
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into the modems, SO, it will always say CONNECT 9600/ARQ/(Whatever Compression
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shit if you have the &A3)... And the speeds you get on you're transfers will
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be around 1700cps if you use ymodem-g and have your comm program set at 19200,
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if you set your comm program at 38400, and say you download a text file, or an
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uncompressed file, you may get 3000+ cps... Which will just be the same time
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it would take to download that text file if it was zipped up. (Or ARJed for all
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you idiots who think that's actually a good program... Maybe I'll get into
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ARJ later...) GOT IT! Now, please, those messages are annoying!!!!
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"I'm popping a fuckin' brain vessel!"
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-Andrew Dice Clay - From "The Adventures of Ford Fairlaine" - 1989
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3rd) For all you idiots out there who want to get a dual standard with the new
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v.32bis, I just have to say, BIG TEN YOU POLOCK!... First of all, dual
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standards are so fucking stupid! $200 more for what? V.32, which is slower
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than HST, and all you're doing is spending $200 for people who were stupid
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enough to buy a high speed modem for anywhere BUT USRobotics! As for V.32bis,
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all I understand that is is HST speeds with a v.32 connection, and you can get
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14400bps each way (In common terms, BIMODEM) Like who the hell ever uses
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Bimodem? I have an HST, and I have never found a need to transfer 14400 each
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way.. Ok, I guess if you want to going around acting like an Agent 007 going
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"Eh man, I got v.32bis", go ahead, but if you ask me, just save the $200 and
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go donate it to a charity or something... It'll go towards a better cause...
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---
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Ok, now how about a tid-bit about ARJ..
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I say : BIG TEN TO ARJ!
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That sucks shit! I've checked out arj, if you ask me, it's so fucking stupid,
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It has no features that I want to sit down and figure out, and it looks to me
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like someguy found the source code to .PAK and made it say .ARJ... They both
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have the same commands... What will you get with ARJ, 10k less in a 10 meg
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file? BIG SHIT! I'd rather have ZIP because it's so much fucking easier to
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use, and I've got 10k free on my drive for the file to say .ZIP instead of
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.ARJ!
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-------
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Now a little something about Big Ten...
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Ok, well, it seems that since Big Ten has come about, we've had our friends,
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and people who've hated our guts... Just a word to the people who hate us,
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WE DON'T CARE! If you get pissed at us enough, find out where we live, and
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then try and come over and kick our asses, and hope you have fuckin' health
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insurance... It won't be that hard, we put our real info on most boards...
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If you think I'm bullshitting, fine, I don't give a shit...
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We call these boards for fun, but it seems that things on boards have gotten
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a little out of hand. Here are a few things that I can't stand on boards
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nowadays:
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1) Idiots starting conversations in a message base that could become decent
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that never make any sense or of any signifigance to anything. For example,
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that everlasting talk about the HSTs which I SETTLED!!!
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2) SysOps who think that giving away points is an act of god (Same for users)
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Let me tell all of you people who aren't experienced at all with Telegard, it
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takes about 3 seconds to give a user unlimited points, so a simple "thanks" is
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enough... If the sysop expects you to worship him/her for giving the points,
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then just tell the sysop to fuck off and get a goddamn life!
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3) People who start fights with everyone! Dammit! Me and like 5 other
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people got so pissed at a group of people (I mean REAL PISSED) that we
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challenged them to a fucking rumble... And I tell you, I was fucking pissed
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off that they didn't show up. Let me get something straight here, I really
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don't like getting into fights (That's Knight's department) and I don't mean
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word wars, most likely if I'm in an argument on a board that any member of
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Big Ten got involved in, I'll probably fucking type the messages for them...
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Probably because I can type faster than them, and I get a kick out of this
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shit... Anyways, you guys know who you are, we're not really that pissed
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anymore, but I tell you, we got REAL pissed when you were saying that YOU
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showed up and we chickened out, when it was YOU MORONS who didn't show! You
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losers probably haven't even ever met each other!
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Well, that's enough for one ZAN file.. it's like 4am and I really had to let
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out some old burdens and misconceptions of lots of people out in the open...
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Until Next Time...
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Una Fatsa Una Ratsa!
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- Maverick
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