411 lines
22 KiB
Plaintext
411 lines
22 KiB
Plaintext
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SMURF KILL
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BY
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THE DAEMON
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The sun shined bright that day, with the clouds drifting in lazy circles
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above the heads of the little blue people below. BLUE! Yes, blue.
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Happy Smurf skipped down the lane of tall grass whistleing to himself.
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Today would be the best day of his life. Every 20 years or so, the Night of
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the Blue Moon would come, and there would be celebrations and festivals for
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nights and nights. Happy looked forward to the celebration as did most of the
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Smurfs in the village. Presently, he was heading for the town square to help
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in the preperations for the party. He turned around the corner of the street
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and the great town square came into view. Banasters and colourful sheets
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were everywhere, and all the smurfs seemed happier than ever. Happy began
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to sing, and was soon joined by countless other voices.
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"De De DeDe de de, De de de de de...."
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"de de dede de de, De de de de de. "
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Night fell. The smurfs were gathered around the campfire as Popa smurf
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told stories amd all of them ate a lavish dinner. After what seemed like
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days of storytelling, one smurf cried out.
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"Look! Poppa Smurf! The Moon!"
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Sure enough. The moment they had all waited for. The clouds parted to
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reveal the moon. Blue as the smurfs themselves and devided into two equal
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halves. But instead of shouting and bustling, the little blue people
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froze. Their eyes took on the look of death with what seemed a light,
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glassy glaze. All at once they stood, marched back to the village and
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gathered weapons. Any weapons. Pitchforks and roling pins. Kitchen knives
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and small, needle and thread bows. Marching....Marching off into the forest.
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Marching to the small town of cozy dwellers.
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"...de de dede de de De de de de de...
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"de de dede de de De de de de de."
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Somehow the singing lacked the same joyful sound it had just that
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morning. Somehow it was like a death song. A death march.
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Ruffy had always been a good dog. He had been told never to go into the
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forest, because he might get lost. But, ruffy wasn't worried. He had met
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a friendly boy on the way home from the building all boys and girls seemed to
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collect at during the day. The boy had fed him and now Ruffy had no worry
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of getting lost. He wondered in the little dog brain of his, if the boy had
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any more of that tasty white powder. Whoops. tripped. He had been stumbling
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a lot since he had met the boy. The boy had laughed at him as he staggered
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away, but he didn't care, he felt wonderful. What is this? Ruffy had just
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lifted his head from the fall to see a little blue man. Probably just another
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trick from the white powder. The man lunged forward sinking the pin up to
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the little man's hand in his tender nose. OUCH!! This was no effect!
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The little dog jumped and stared at the little man with anger mixed with pain
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and disgust. Blue men began dropping from the trees. Landing on his back and
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stabbing their small weapons into his black fur. He struggled and rolled on
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the ground, but all to no avail. Soon he felt himself weakening under the
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incredible pain inflicted by the little people.
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On they marched. Soon the small town of the humans was in sight.
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De de dede de de de de de de de...
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de de dede de de de de de de de.
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Tommy sat in the oaken chair that was usually his fathers on friday
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nights for football. But tonight, his dad was getting ready for bed because
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of something his mother said had to do with birds and bees. He had no idea
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what insects and birds had to do with why they were going to bed so early,
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so he assumed they were just going to fuck each other. He was most likely
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going to watch TV until his dad bid him otherwise. Ahh well, life was good.
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"Tommy? are you ready for bed yet?"
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"Yes mom!",He lied. He knew mommy wouldn't check on him, so he wasn't
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worried. Hours passed.
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De de dede de de De de de de de...
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de de dede de de De de de de de.
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Was that singing? No, just his imagination. He had better go to bed. It
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was almost after 3 in the morning, and things would get hairy if his dad
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caught him up this late on a school night. He walked to the bathroom and
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undressed, climbing into the shower. He was only ten years old, but his
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parents had forced him to become independent early. They were either fucking
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or fighting all the time, so he assumed he would just have to care for
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himself.
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The water fell on him like scalding rain. But it felt good to wash off
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the worries and troubles from the day. He was just about to climb out when
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the curtain pulled back, just a bit, to reveal a small blue man in a white
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funny cap.
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"A Smurf!" Tommy cried."I don't believe it! Who are you?"
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"Pick me up, Tommy. I have something to give you."
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The smurf was holding something behind his small back. He held it in the
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manner a boyfriend might hold a cluster of wildflowers. The boy lifted him up
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to his face to get a better look.
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"Here. let me look at you more closely."
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Soon the small man was stanging in a exact line with Tommy's nose.
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What happened afterwards was never quite known to poor Tommy. The small
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man lunged forward and stuck the pin he was holding a good inch and a half
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into Tommy's right eyeball. Tommy screamed.
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He ran down the hallway crying until he tripped over the side of the oaken
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chair and fell into it. Soon smurfs were covering his body. It was then that
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Tommy realized he was still very naked. Pins jabbed into every corner of his
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young body. He felt surges of sharp and dull pain in his groin as smurfs
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stabbed sewing pins into his gonads. Soon he just let them cut. The smurfs
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had smiles on their faces as they started to eat the already cold flesh
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of dead Tommy Hoskins. They began to sing as they cut away the flesh,
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devouring it like children in the cookie jar.
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They moved on. The hoard went to the next room down the hall and with
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combined effort opened the door. The room was dark, but the eyes of the
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little predators were used to the dark. Hefty Smurf walkad in as a scout.
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Although small, Hefty was strong and would be an opponent even if alone, but
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the precaution was unneeded. Ahead of him was a crib. Tommy's little brother.
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Hefty scurried to the side and climbed quickly up onto the soft pile of
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cushions and approached the baby. He was about six months old and was fast
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asleep with his thumb in his mouth and curled in the fetal position. Hefty
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walked with a expressionless face up to the chin of the child. Then, drawing
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a axe made from a razor blade found in the bathroom and a group of 3
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toothpicks tied with a rubber band, he lifted it and swung with a downward
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arc into the soft, young, tender flesh of the childs throat.
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Instantly the baby awoke with pain throbbing through its very bones. It
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tried to scream, but only gurgles came. Blood was spurting out of the
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gaping wound in rythmic pulses arcing a good three feet into the air before
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falling back and staining the white sheets upon which the dying infant lay.
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Soon, all the smurfs were on the baby, taking out whatever sharp weapons they
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had and cutting off all they could eat...
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De de dede de de De de de de de...
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De de dede de de De de de de de.
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What was that? Well, Jon could have cared less. He laid there next
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to his wife. They had been fucking most of the night but she had grown tired
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and so they called it a night. Soon he fell fast asleep.
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What? Huh? Jon woke up with a start. Something had happened. The bed
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was wet as a swimming pool and he was sticky with it.
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"Aww shit! Wet dreams are supposed to stop after forty!"
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"Helen. Helen! Helen?"
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He rolled his wife over, and screamed. She had a peaceful look on her
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face, all exept for the fact that she had no eyes. Some one, or something, had
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gouged out her eyes. The gaping holes stared blankly at him, then he also
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noticed the long ear-to-ear slash in her throat and what looked like, yes,
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they WERE, bite marks. Tiny bite marks. Oh God. OUCH!
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They were on him! The bastards were on him! He jumped up to find
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his body covered with them. He picked one off and hurled it to the ground
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driving its head deep into its own torso. Others were stabbing him like
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madmen. He swatted at them like insects mixing their blue blood with his own.
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He felt himself weakining. He would get revenge. He would stop them. He
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reached for the shotgun above the mantle of the bedroom fireplace. Loaded.
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He put the double barrel in fromt of his face. Hundreds were clawing at his
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hair and eyes. The blast took off about half of his head splattering blood,
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bone fragments, and hundreds of smurfs against the far wall. Smurfs lay
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in piles suffering from severe gunpowder burns and some missing limbs where
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pellets had ripped them off and just layed on the ground spinning like
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flies without one wing. The remaining smurfs marched off leaving the
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wounded and maimed to die.
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The body of Jon and his wife began to stink even as the sun came up on a
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beautiful saturday morning.
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Tommys body lay in the chair. Sirens approached from a complaint about
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a gunshot at the Hoskin house. Tommy was sitting there. His body bloody with
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eyeless sockets staring at the still flickering TV screen where all of
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a sudden, little blue people called smurfs came in. "Hi Kids..."
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De de dede de de De de de de de...
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de de dede de de De de de de de......
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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Stay tuned for SMURF KILL ][, REVENGE comming soon.
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Smurf Kill II
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Revenge
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By
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The Daemon
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What had happened. None of them new. They were sitting
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around the campfire where they had been the night before looking
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at papa smurf with longful eyes. Most of them were dirty and
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beaten, and some of them were missing. It had happened just as
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the legends fortold.
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" The smurfs will gather under the Blue Moon and night shall
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pass and morning shall come. None of them shall see the night
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pass, and some will never see the morning come."
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What could be done. They parted in silence, looking around
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to find some clue to the unknowen they had experienced. Soon it
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ws discovered that many tools and kitchen items were missing, and
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even a few of the smurfs were wounded. Hefty Smurf began to
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re-make the missing items after the search turned up nothing, and
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Happy Smurf began tending to injuries...
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"What the HELL happened!?"
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Roger had never seen anything like it in all the years he
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had been a police officer. The sirens wailed and the lights
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flashed outside the hoskin house. All of them dead. All of them.
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The whole damn family was dead. He had known Mr. Hoskins for
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years. They had played poker many a rainy night. But now there
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would be no moew poker. It looked like a massacre by Mr. Hoskins
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with a suicide to end the pain of a prison sentance, but Roger
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knew better. There were still a few things that could not be
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explained. First. What was the blue shit on the gun barrel? and
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why did he goudge out his own wive's eyes with a pin? Well, he
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would find out what was happening and fast. He walked from the
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bedroom into the baby's room and watched as the correner removed
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the body of the 16 month old baby. Throat slit and hair matted
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with blood. Somthing was VERY wrong. If Jon had the shotgun, why
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in the name of heaven did he use a butter knife to kill the kid.
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Psyco? WRONG! *beep beep*
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"Hello?" his beeper was a new toy for him, but he was
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annoyed at its sudden life at such a odd time.
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"This is Barkley. Get back to the station. There are
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reporters here about to knock the door down. We need a
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statement."
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"But I have to see the rest of this. He was my friend."
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"No dice. I need you here. That's an order."
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"I'm on my way." Rank pulling overpaid son of a bitch.
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His squad car pulled smoothly away from the curve and glided
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dowm the street as the people began to wake up on a sunny
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saturday morning.
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Whew! the work was done. The smurfs were feeling good
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again. They had fixed the damage and were happy and gay the way
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they used to be before the night. Happy smurf skiped down the
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lane singing to himself.
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De de dede de de de dede de de.
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de de dede de de de dede de de.
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Everyone in the smurf village was tending gardens outside
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their mushroom houses or baking somthing absolutely smurfy to
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eat, or maybe expanding to their houses. What a smurfy day!
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Roger hated paperwork. The killings had summoned up a lot
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of it, and as commanding officer of the investigation, he was
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intitled to do all this. The room he was in was dark save the
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light from his desk lamp and the soft light of the captains room
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were Barkley was also doing paperwork. There. It was done. He
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opened the file and jammed the papers in. Now he had to deal with
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Barkley. He knew the hoskins were not killed by a psychotic
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father, he just needed the time to prove it. He walked towards
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the door into Barkley's office. He quickly whiped his hands and
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entered.
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"Sir?"
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"Yes, Roger?"
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"I was wondering if I might get in on the investigation of
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the Hoskins family slaughter."
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"There will be no investigation."
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"What?!"
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"It was a psychotic father-kills-family case. Nothing more."
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"Thats just not true. You know there is more to it than
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that. He was a friend of both of us!"
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"Friends crack. There is no reason for an investigation. We
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have a explanation, thats good enough."
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"Sir, I really..."
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"End of discussion. Goodnight."
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"Goodnight sir."
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He drove home swiftly with the raido loud. After dinner at
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home, he weent to bed early and thought. Someone killed the
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Hoskins family. He would find out. He would get them. Himself.
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Papa smurf was worried. Nothing in the great book told
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anything about the possibility of this. Well, he would continue
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to search the tome for some answers. Any answers. Meanwhile, the
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little smurfs skiped and ran about in the afternoon light.
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De de dede de de de dede de de.
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de de dede de de de dede de de.
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The house was the way they had found it, minus the bodies.
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He walked through the hallway into the bedroom. The shotgun lay
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on the carpet next to the bed. He looked around. There was blood
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and more of that blue stuff on the wall. Keep looking, Roger.
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What was this? A bodie? Yes, a small bodie! The size of his hand.
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it was blue, and it held a pin. This was fantastic! There are
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gnomes? Confusion swept over him like a wave and he sat on the
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bed. Hundreds of little men. They had attacked and killed the
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family. In the course of the struggle, Jon had picked up the
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shotgun and blasted a few. That explained the blasts in the walls
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and floor. Then when all was lost, he blew his own head off to
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avoid the suffering. That had to be it. So now what. Where did
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they come from. The forest? A good place to start anyway.
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The dog was killed in the same mannor as Jon's family. They
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had most likely found this one on the way to Jon's house. He
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reached inside his jacket and pulled out a baggie. He placed some
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of the body parts from the dead, blue, men in it. He would look
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at these later. *rustle, rustle* Roger dove behind a bush and
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watched the path.
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Barfy smurf was grumpy today. He had been gathering berries
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with some younger smurfs, eh...4 to be exact, and they had found
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less than he could do himself in an hour. No doubt those little
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rug rats were eating more than their share. What was this? a dog.
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A poor dead dog. oh, dear. They ran up to it and looked around.
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they were getting confused.
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"Barfy, there are dead smurfs here!"
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"I know. What happened?"
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The smurfs began to cry.
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He saw the little people gather around the dog's body and
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begin gathering smurf parts. Cannibles! He lowered his hand into
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More?
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his vest pocket, slowly removing the .45 revolver he had with
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him. He could see it now. Roger killed in fight with Gnomes.
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**BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG** >CLICK< >CLICK< >CLICK<
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The first shot took off half of barfy smurfs body leaving
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the head and legs lying side by side. The second, third, and
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fourth took off the heads of the other smurfs splattering blue
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blood on the bark of the sapling birch trees in the grove. Roger
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had unerring aim, yet one was missing. One escaped. Damn. He
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trudged on following the trail that the little ones had. His
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hands were trembling. He had tried to fire 9 shots out of a 6
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shot revolver. Intelligence. He reloaded while he walked. Soon he
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found an open grove. He peered above the covering of tall grass
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and saw them. Smurfs. They were smurfs! Many of them. Lots of
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them. He looked on as they sang and skiped and danced singing a
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cute little song.
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De de dede de de de dede de de.
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de de dede de de de dede de de.
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He hated them. They were cannibles and murderers. He would
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destroy them. But how. How would he kill so many so...Got it! He
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had a stroak of brilliance. There was a field that led from the
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road to the smurf village. Soon, my little friends. Soon.
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Smurf life was back to normal. Happy ran in the grass
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playing with the children while smurfette was grooming herself.
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Boy, would this be a smurfy day or what! Night fell and the
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smurfs tucked themselves into their beds and slept with a deep,
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dreamless sleep.
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He ran his hands over the flank of his revenge weapon. He
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had cracked. His little brain had finally given way under the
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incredible pressure. Now he would return to the Smurf village and
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finish the little shits that destroyed one of his best friends.
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This would be fun. Real fun. fun.
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Happy smurf got up. What a Smurfy day! He was in charge of
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the little smurfs today, and thought he would bring them to the
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edge of town and play with the butterflys. After an absolutely
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smurfy breakfast, he gathered the children around him and skiped
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wth them out into the field. They ran and chased butterflys and
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were having the most fun their little bodies would permit. But,
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there was a noise. It had just started.
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"Hush smurfs. I hear somthing."
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"What is it, Happy?"
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"Shhhh...I don't know."
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It was a dull humm. But it was getting louder. It grew and
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grew until it sounded like a roll of thunder. Then with a start
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it became louder than anything he could immagine. Other smurfs
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had gathered outside and looked. Then, from the field, a monster
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appeared. It was bigger than eight smurf houses on top of each
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other and was being led by a human. The human was wicked with a
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smile that looked like it was painted there. The man led his
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roaring bast into the town. Happy gathered the children and ran
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,ran, ran as fast as he could. The beast had a spout that shot
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out all that it ran over and thousands of pieces. It was comming
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after them. He ran, looking over his shoulder just to see the
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little children smurfs pass under the thing. Then, they shot out
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othe spout. Dismembered. Bloody. Broken. He screamed. There was a
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plaque on the beast, but happy didn't take the time to read. The
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man was behind the beast, leading it, guiding it. The man kicked
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the spout to face forwards. Now the beast hit the first house. It
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went under with a grinding sound and shot over Happy's head with
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a dismembered mother and child slamming into the trees ahead of
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him. Blue blood rained down and obscured his sight. He was
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tripping and falling everywhere, but he had to keep running. The
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beast moved slowly and the man laughed with the giggle of a
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madman. What could be done? Soon almost all of the houses were
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destroyed. All, but papa smurf's house on the hill. Happy ran to
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it, but before he could reach even the half way point, another
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house was hit. But this time the pieces hit him. He felt a tang
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of pain in his leg and went down. There was a weight on top of
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him. He looked down to see a splinter stuck through his leg, into
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the ground. He tried to remove the weight, and realized it was a
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smurf. He didn't know which one, because the head was gone. Blue
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bood splattered him in rythmic pulses and entrals were spilled on
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his coat from a slash through his stomach. He then saw the beast
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right above him. He screamed for it to stop! for somone to save
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him! All to no avail. The machine ran him down. Happy smurf was
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plastered onto a rock in many pieces. His head sliced open by the
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beast's whirling teath. His body crumpled against the remains of
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hs own house. The last remaining thought was what was on the
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plaque of the huge beasts face. It read: "JOHN DEERE".
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EPILOGUE: Papa smurf and Smurfette survived. They ran off and
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using Papa smurf's magic lived in the forest. They will never be
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the same. They hate humans, and will always observe the night of
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the blue moon. They are reproducing slowly.
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Roger was later picked up by another police officer,
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where he was commited to an Asylum for the rest of his life. The
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records said something about the incredible hatred for little blue
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nonexistant people called smurfs.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------
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"Wow. That Roger is a wierd one."
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"You mean 0238? Yea. He believes in SMURFS! What a gas.
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Well, when I'm done in the lab, we'll go for a beer. Well, on the
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other had, Let's go now. This blue crud on Roger's boots can wait
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for a day. No hurry."
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"Sure. I'll get your coat."
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WATCH::::for other releases by The Daemon and Daemon
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Enterprises. Another comming soon.
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