118 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
118 lines
5.4 KiB
Plaintext
Parodies
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By the Silver Ghost
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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!!!!! The NEON KNIGHTS Present !!!!
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!!!! How to Have a Good Time! !!!!
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hey rad dude, yer bored and it's friday night and you wanna have a good timeri
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ght! so here's what you do! Stpe one, take six gallons of model cement, the kind
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in the ltitle tubes, and p our it into your neaghbors cars gas tank, rda huh, st
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ep too, wait for it to dr y. step three, take an oxyacetylene torrch and melt hi
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s tires with it!!!! then go inside his house and start torching eyyervthing,
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start with his dog! ifhe doesn't like it fuck Him! sorry about the spelling i
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'm on an acid trip now, for the twelvth time today...my radio is talking to me.
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my right ankle is dead........
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-:-
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/;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;\!
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!!
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Part Sixty-Three: !!
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!! Matt Ackerat Logs On !!
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!\;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;/
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It was a bright, sunny day. Matt Ackerat woke up. First he opened his
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right eye, and then, three or four microseconds later, his left. He closed
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them again for a moment, and re-opened them. He verified what he had seen the
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first time: it was a bright, sunny day. Matt hopped out of bed, well not
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hopped exactly, because he's such a loser, but he sorta fell out of bed. Then
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he yawned. Then he and his Sylvester The Cat jammies walked across the room
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to where he hid his glasses, in case any robbers or anarchists broke into his
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house for the sole purpose of stealing them. Then he yawned again. Then he
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opened his bedroom door....
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(several pages later)...and Matt finally successfully typed "NONE" without the
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quotes, without asking why it echoed "^^^^" back to him, and without wetting
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his pants.
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Tune in for the next episode: "Matt Types In His User Name And Thinks Of A
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Password To Use." Coming in March of 1997.
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-:-
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*----------------------------------------*
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** Anarchy Tricks **
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** By The Daemon and someone else **
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** (whose name isn't that important) **
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*----------------------------------------*
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Here are some fun anarchy tricks to use in school:
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1) Sneak in a long string of firecreckers. Light them.
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2) Take a scissors into the A/V lab and snip apart all the film.
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3) Walk up to your faverite teachr and shout "FUCK YOU" very loud.
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4) Shave your head and destribute Hare Krishna pamphlits.
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5) Go to a teachers' desk and drink down all her liquid paper and rubber
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cement, and then eat her attendence book. On the way to the hospital,
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say that she forced you to do it, and make her lose her job.
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Keep watching for Anarchy, part II, in which we tell you how to talk
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back to policemen.
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-:-
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()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()(
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()()()()()()() REAL LOSERS< PART FORTY=SEVEN ()()()()()()()()
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()()()()()()() by I.M. Knott A. Loser ()()()()()()()()
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() and ()
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()() ('$&"##$" THE BLACK TURTLE "$##"&$') !!!!!! ()()
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()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
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Hay d00des we got some real G00D !!!L0SER!!! stuff for yya, check this OUT:
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REAL L0SERS ARE TWELVE YEARS OLD!!!
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REAL L0SERS KAN'T TYPE!!!!!
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REAL L0SERS CAN'T SPELL "WAREZ"! HA HA HA
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REAL L0SERS DON'T RUN THEIR OWN COMPPUTER BULLETION BOARD SYYSTEMS!!!!!!!
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REAL L0SERS DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE TEXT TRIX!!!/-\!/-\!!!
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REAL L0SERS HAVE ONLY 110 BAURD MODEMS!!!
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REAL L0SRS HAVE IBM'S!!!!!!1!!
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dID YOU8 LIKE THOSE lOSER FILES????!? wE GOT ANOTHER 1 COMING!!!!!
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-:-
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How To Be the Best Programmer and Author in The Continental United States
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(Like Me)
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By the Silver Ghost
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Well, obviously the first step is to call Thieves' World FIDO (616/344-2718)
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and study all their zillions of text-files (especially the ones I'VE written)
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until you're sure you understand how to write. Then comes the hard part,
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programming. It's obvious that programming is the most difficult task in the k
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nown universe, because...well...it just is. And if you want to be as good at
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it as I am, here's a few tips to follow:
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First, remember the following:
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a) Always type in the code yourself. Never let someone else do it.
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b) Always put your name ALL OVER the program, sometimes in tricky ways so
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that no one else can steal your program and put their name on it.
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c) Remember: if you have a bug in your program, it's because something bad
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happened.
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d) The path to truth is always that of the diligent grasshopper.
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Second, use the following little tidbit of code:
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10 REM
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X=INT(RND(1)*64^2/(48=(SQR("6502"))*4)+14*(12))/CP+(BR*2^AZ)/2^EN-SQR(42*LI)^(ES/4)
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Though it doesn't really DO anything (notice the REM at the beginning...
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tricky huh?), it will confuse any piddly little NOVICE programmer into spending
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hours trying to decipher it, thereby making it less likely that he will remove
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your name from it and put his name on it. Which is, after all, the name of the
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game. (Pun. Get it?)
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But allow me to digress. My philosophy of life is deeply integrated into
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computer programming, similar to the method in which the aforementioned topic
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of computer programming is deeply integrated into my philosophy of life...
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-eof
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