38 lines
2.0 KiB
Plaintext
38 lines
2.0 KiB
Plaintext
A Childrens' Guide to Magic
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By the Silver Ghost
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Once upon a time, there was a wizard.
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All wizards had specialties. Unlike other wizards, this wizard's specialty
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wasn't Nuclear Destruction or Death Rays or Mind Control. His specialty was
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divination, which means he could ask questions that no one could answer and
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get answers anyway. He got his answers from Gods.
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He started off by asking embarrassing questions like "How are babies made?"
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and "Why does the wizard next door dress up in women's clothes?" For
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questions like these, the Gods usually hemmed and hawed around before
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recommending really good books on the subject.
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He was a very naive wizard.
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Finally (when he grew up) he began asking questions about things that
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mattered, like "How can my country reduce its national deficit?" and "Will
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Man-O-War win in the sixth?" For information such as this, he was rewarded
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and praised by his fellow countrymen and bookies. But he still was at heart a
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very naive wizard, and when he was at home alone (which was most of the time),
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he would pull all the shades and ask the Gods personal questions.
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Eventually, the Gods got angry at him for asking things that were none of
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his business. But there wasn't anything they could do anout it, because he
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was such a powerful wizard that they were required to answer his questions.
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Finally, one day, the Gods found a way to get even. The wizard, on a Friday
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night, had locked himself in and asked them "Why does magic work?"
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The Gods thought for several seconds before answering that question. Then
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they grinned.
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"Why," they said, "we don't know. In fact, magic is kind of silly, isn't
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it?"
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The wizard became agitated and started protesting. "Hey, guys," he said.
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"Hey guys."
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"Sorry," said the Gods gleefully, and banished magic from the world forever.
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The poor wizard was left without a spell to stand on, and was ostracized by
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his fellow countrymen and bookies. Unfortunately, with magic gone, the Gods
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found themselves without anyone to talk to and died of boredom.
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(>
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