118 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
118 lines
6.6 KiB
Plaintext
Õ012ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ012¸
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³ ³
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³ Converting The 'Ole 2400 Baud To 14.4 For Free - RedBoxChiliPepper ³
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³ ³
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ÆÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͵
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³ Written On November 28, 1992 Last Revision on January 8, 1995 ³
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ÆÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͵
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³ For Informational Purposes Only. We're Not Responsible For Your Stupidity. ³
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Ô012ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ012¾
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This file was originally titled, "Upgrading Your 1200 Baud To 2400 Baud" but
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times have advanced just a little bit sp I decided to rewrite the file. Doing
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this the dishonest way is very simple but requires a deposit of around $200,
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give or take a hundred and you get every penny of this money back.
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This works best with externals so I'll assume that's what you're using. First,
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find the store that you want to use. An actual computer store is not
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recommended because they're not too stupid and sometimes they even know what
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they're doing. I suggest a place like K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Target, Venture,
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Circuit City or Service Merchandise.
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Buy the modem that you want from the store. Take your modem home (or better
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yet, just do this in the car), open up the casing on both your old 2400 and
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the new 14.4 you just bought. Switch the insides on the two modems, put them
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back together and take the 14.4 back for a full refund. (The 2400 baud modem
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in a 14.4 casing.)
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Just tell the clerk that it didn't seem compatible with your computer or
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something. If he wants to start asking a bunch of stupid questions, pretend
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you're computer illiterate and act like you're in a hurry. Most places will
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ask you to take the modem to the electronics section of the store so they can
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open up the box and make sure that everything is there. So make sure you
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didn't "forget" to include the phone wire, AC adapter and manuals or you
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probably won't get your money back.
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You shouldn't have to worry about the clerk pulling the modem out of a box
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and examining it all over, usually they just want to make sure it's all there.
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If you have any troubles, see the section below.
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Oh, and if you're the type that has some kind of conscience and are thinking
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about the poor guy that's gonna come in and actually purchase this expensive
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14.4 modem and find out when he gets home that it only works at 2400, you can
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probably prevent this by calling up the store and telling them what you've
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done. I usually call up a store and confess to the electronics guy only if he
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was a jerk to me. Then, I'll call him up and insult him and tell him how
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stupid he was.
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A Few Notes:
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-----------
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If the new 14.4 won't fit into your old 1200 or 2400 casing, don't worry about
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it. It doesn't matter how ugly your modem is, just how fast it performs, right?
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If you're paranoid about the circuit board just laying out like that, you can
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easily make your own casing out of a few parts from Radio Shack. If you're
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really poor, make a case out of a few sheets of plastic and melt them together
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with your lighter or soldering iron. And if you're REALLY pathetic and don't
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even have plastic to spare, cut some pieces of cardboard and scotch tape.
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If your old 2400 won't fit into the stores 14.4 case, then you have a few
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choices:
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1. Use a hack saw to cut the 2400 circuit board down to where it'll fit
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comfortably into the 14.4 casing. Be sure that once it's put back
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together so that nothing looks out of place.
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2. If there's no way that your old circuit board is gonna fit in there, get
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some switches, plug ins, etc from Radio Shack and glue them wherever
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they're supposed to go on the 14.4 modem casing. If the circuit board has
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any weight to it, glue something inside so the store clerk won't notice
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anything funny. Believe me, a store clerk doesn't usually pull apart the
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whole modem just because you want a refund.
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3. Put the 14.4 case back together totally empty. Wrap the styrofoam or
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plastic or whatever around it and scotch tape it so the clerk hopefully
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won't bother to pick it up and look at it.
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Emergency Situations:
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--------------------
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Let's say that for some reason the store clerk decides to whip out his pocket
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screwdriver and begins to take the modem apart so he can see what the problem
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is. This has never happened to me, but I would probably say something like,
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"Listen, I'm late for work and I don't have time for this. Just give me my
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refund so I can get out of here."
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What if he DID open it and sees a cut up circuit board in there? Well, your
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best bet is to pretend to be as surprised as he is. Say that you had nothing
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to do with it and someone must have bought the modem before you and done this.
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If he gives you any shit, ask to speak with the manager and if it comes down
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to it, threaten to sue them if they don't refund your money or at least
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replace the modem with a new one.
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If none of this works, pull out your AK-47 sub machine gun and demand all the
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money in the drawer. After you get the money, gun down all the customers and
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employees and go to a REAL computer store and buy yourself a 14.4 modem.
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Internal Modems:
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---------------
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There's a bit more risk involved here but I've pulled it off twice out of the
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two times I've tried it and had no problems. When you buy an internal, you get
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a the modem, wrapped in plastic lying in a foam thingy. So take out the 14.4
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and put the wrapping around your old 2400, put it all back in the box, phone
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cords, manuals and all and take that back for a refund.
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I first tried that at Wal-Mart and after it went over so well the first time,
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I decided to try it again. Only this time I replaced the modem with an old
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circuit board out of an AM/FM radio. The old bag working electronics that day
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just glanced in there to make sure it was there and gave me my money back. It
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just so happened that she didn't know how to work the store's cash register
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either. Go figure.
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One More Thing:
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--------------
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You shouldn't limit yourself to just a new 14.4 baud modem. You can use this
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method on virtually anything electronic. Radios, stereos, electronic spare
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parts, telephones, anything.
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ÕÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ͸
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³ Contact The Phone Losers Of America Nearest You! The P.L.A. Voice Mailbox ³
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³ number is 512-370-4680. And PLEASE don't pay for your phone calls. -RBCP ³
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ÔÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ;
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